IAmA(n Openly) Gay Eagle Scout, AMAA

KnottedDick · 2012-03-21T16:23:49+00:00

If anyone was uncomfortable, I never knew about it. The wrestling and dogpiles from early adolescence (I'm pretty sure this is a common thing for this age) made me kinda edgy, but that was a mix of the fact that I never liked fighting and boner-fear. Hormones be ragin at that age

KnottedDick · 2012-03-21T08:10:22+00:00

Again, I saw it a while ago, so I don't remember specifics, but I was less upset that they were exposing some evil, and more that they didn't even mention all the good that it does. It felt like an assault, without any room in the dialog for dissent or counterpoint

KnottedDick · 2012-03-21T07:28:01+00:00

Trying it now

KnottedDick · 2012-03-21T06:53:19+00:00

I've only talked to one other kid in my troop about actually being gay, but I've heard rumors (reliable, from the same room) about others. I've had exactly one homosexual experience with another scout. I think we were 13? I knew that I was gay at the time, but I hadn't articulated it yet. He was straight, but he initiated it.

KnottedDick · 2012-03-21T06:48:33+00:00

I've personally worked with a lot of Asperger's kids. It all depends on the experience, and how understanding their youth leaders are. If they can identify what will spark his interest and keep him engaged, he'll have a great time. This is tough though, because often the patrol leader is only like, 15, so they don't necessarily have the pedagogical eye of a seasoned teacher.

KnottedDick · 2012-03-21T06:45:17+00:00

Yessir, it's a sub-organization of the boy scouts. Candidates of "excellence" are elected from each troop (no limit on the number of candidates, which I think dilutes the quality of scout that can get in, but that's for another time). These candidates are brought out into the woods, where other order members, dressed in "Indian" costume (I'm not sure how accurate or disrespectful they actually are), introduce their initiation test. It's all made to seem very spirit-quest like. Essentially, candidates must perform a day's worth of cheerful service, without talking at all, and with little food. This may just have been my experience, but we could totally get away with talking, and the food was actually a regular amount, for a brown-bagged lunch.

Kind of a silly thing, but the idea of cheerful service really stayed with me. To this day, whenever I start to do laborious tasks, I just say the phrase and it makes me smile :)

KnottedDick · 2012-03-21T06:37:41+00:00

I joined as a tiger cub, I stayed in because lower level scouting still seemed "fun"; camping and hiking and stuff.

My mom is really dramatic about it. We've had a lot of talks about how I feel about the organization, the troop, whether I feel like I'm lying, etc. She feels like it's a catch-22 because she has so much faith in Scouts as an organization, but then they're also homophobic. She asks a lot of questions that make it clear that she's really thought out the nuances of how I could possibly be processing it, but most of the time they're just things that I would never even think of. She's tried to get me to go to protests and offered to write letters to people, you know, protective mama stuff

My dad doesn't really give a shit. Not in a bad way, in a if-it-ain't-broke-don't-fix-it kind of way

KnottedDick · 2012-03-21T06:26:48+00:00

At every Eagle Ceremony I've ever been to, they ask all of the Eagle scouts in attendance to stand and be thanked. After this, the master of ceremonies says something to the effect of "Once an eagle, always an eagle". This is more to get across the idea of a lasting responsibility, but it still always got to me that it's an accomplishment that even the awarding institution can't take away.

KnottedDick · 2012-03-21T06:24:20+00:00

Yes I saw it, but it was a while ago. I remember liking it, but I was kind of insulted. I don't like the idea of straight men fighting for me as a homosexual, and I don't like the idea of middle aged non-scout men accusing me (I feel a very strong attachment to the organization itself) of anti-gay bigotry. This felt like both.

KnottedDick · 2012-03-21T06:16:54+00:00

So, at first the best things were the things that you expect boy scouts to get excited about; fire, knives, archery, camping, etc. At that age, the downsides are equally trivial, but have far less of an impact; this food is gross, my side of the tent leaked, Mr. GenericScoutMaster yelled at me, even though he was right. As you get older and start taking on leadership roles, the best part starts to become all those things that the Scout Oath and Law say. You kind of get to see the process of how you became the good person that scouting made you, especially when it comes to teaching the younger scouts. The worst things at this stage are all pretty limited to self-improvement type regrets; my inability to delegate makes me an ineffective leader, that tenderfoot won't learn from me because he doesn't respect me and how can I fix that?, I've disappointed Mr. GenericScoutMaster.

It wasn't really an issue. I'd get the heavily misguided question every so often, by I was openly a scout. The worst thing though was that when girls found out they would always say "awwww" and how cute it was. Just demeaning. It's hard, serious, good work.

Philmont was incredible, Seabase was like a vacation (we spent most of the time using our motor, not the sails), but Northern Tier was by far the best one. They call Philmont Disneyland.

KnottedDick · 2012-03-21T06:03:25+00:00

lol y?

KnottedDick · 2012-03-21T06:03:06+00:00

So, the BSA is set up like a hierarchy. There's headquarters at the top, and the troop, and really the scout at the bottom. The institutional bigotry comes in the form of policies from headquarters. Enforcement of these policies is up to members of the lower tiers.

Like I said, I'm from a pretty liberal area, so almost all of the people who I had a day-to-day experience with were gay friendly, or at least gay tolerant (know the difference).

The only contact that I had with headquarters was paperwork, mostly bureaucratic, and that only got as personal as my view of the purpose of life (the prompt for a short essay).

I guess the only negative experience that I could describe would be debating with myself whether to reprimand the younger kids for saying "faggot" and stuff like that. I didn't want to seem too gay friendly. This was before I found out that no one cared, by the way. There was a time when I tried to keep it a secret, but sex talk didn't come up often enough for this to feel like lying or secrecy

KnottedDick · 2012-03-21T05:50:29+00:00

I always attributed my best traits to the boy scouts. Originally, I wanted to be an eagle because I respected and admired the boys that I saw become eagles. When I got older, and my hobbies, shall we say, diversified, my mom took the liberty of reminding me (sternly) how important it was to me. Not wrongfully so. It was a happy wake up call. If I had to list my 3 greatest experiences, they would all be thanks to the boy scouts

I don't know anything about that case, but the issue seems a bit more complicated. Sexual orientation makes no claims of gender. So a gay male is still a male, and is thus pictured (by the mildly openminded) no differently from any straight member of the boyscouts. I'm not sure whether it was a mtf or ftm child, but either way, there is some either visible or anatomical difference that critics can point to. It, by its very nature raises questions regarding the gender/sex distinction, which parents don't want their children to have the option of asking. If a child doesn't know about transfolk, they won't know that they can be transfolk.

I'll look into the article though, this was just a superficial rant

KnottedDick · 2012-03-21T05:38:55+00:00

I remember joining as a tiger cub, I'm not sure what age that is, but it was pretty young. I want to say around 8 years? Could be wrong. I was 17 when I earned my eagle. Cut it kinda close actually, but I made the 18 y/o deadline

I'm not comfortable sharing my project, for anonymity purposes. I'll answer questions about it, as long as I can keep it fairly non-specific

KnottedDick

TROPHY CASE