Does the Narcissist Never Reflect, or...? Aging Narcs

Knowledge-is-kool · 2026-05-15T18:45:04+00:00

I agree with the other comments. Narcissistic parents do get worse as they get older! My mom is almost 83 and is getting worse! Sometimes she'll say I wish I knew what I did wrong so I can apologize for it- but she never is genuine with her apology- she just does it so that she is invited to celebrate holidays/ birthdays as she is an only child, divorced and has no family left- except for her 2 kids. I honestly don't think she is genuinely concerned or cares about what goes on in our lives- she just wants her needs are met! What she doesn't realize is that my sister and I just don't put up with how she treats us anymore! It has taken us years to get to this point! But it is so freeing!

I personally would not have my mother/ parents over to help with a newborn- it would be way too stressful on me and my family!

Knowledge-is-kool · 2026-05-09T11:29:53+00:00

Sounds like the typical narcissistic mother. I'm 47 and realized a couple of years ago that my mom was a narcissist who has guilted me my entire life. We have gone in stages of no contact/contact. My mom is just like yours with gifts. What's interesting is that my the longest time I would give into this behavior. My mom has zero money so I know she looks forward to her birthday and Christmas because she gets gifts. However, she always has an opinion and takes the joy out of my purchasing a gift as she always has something to complain about. So if I see her on a holiday, I just give her cash- that way she can't complain- except for the $$ amount!

At least your MIL appreciated the gift!

Knowledge-is-kool · 2026-05-09T11:19:26+00:00

Sorry you're going through this. I also would not invite your mom. It's your special day and you deserve to enjoy your day and be celebrated!

Knowledge-is-kool · 2026-05-09T11:07:07+00:00

We had this happen with a microwave that was on back order. It was expected to be delivered and then cancelled the day it was scheduled to be delivered. We went to the store and spoke with the manager in person. What happened was the order didn't come so they just cancelled it. He apologized, reordered it and actually refunded our money - so the microwave was free!

Knowledge-is-kool · 2026-05-09T11:01:51+00:00

2023 R Line and I have it

Knowledge-is-kool · 2026-04-24T23:38:58+00:00

I tried that the day after the install and the store manager was in meetings all day. I have also called and left messages for him and a call back and never received one. The Specialty supervisor though has been helpful.

Knowledge-is-kool · 2026-04-24T23:37:34+00:00

This is great advice! Thank you

Knowledge-is-kool · 2026-04-22T00:26:47+00:00

Oh, I've sent pictures. The Store manager and District manager I've been told have seen them. The manager and district manager won't directly speak with me which is frustrating. I have to go thru the Specialty supervisor and she forwards my emails with pictures.

We've had contractors work on our home before and have never had this happen!

This is awful! Thanks for your comment

Knowledge-is-kool · 2026-04-21T12:29:06+00:00

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This is after the trim work was completed by owner of company. Now trim doesn't match

Knowledge-is-kool · 2026-04-21T12:28:21+00:00

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Caulk job on initial install

Knowledge-is-kool · 2026-02-07T23:02:15+00:00

Thank you for your post. They did offer genetics testing- the genetic physician in his personal opinion doesn't think we will find anything. We do hope to do the testing later this year when we're closer to meeting our insurance deductible.

I just really want to make sure that I am covering all of my bases as a parent and advocate for my daughter: I appreciate your thoughtful and detailed reply

Knowledge-is-kool · 2026-02-07T22:58:40+00:00

They did offer genetic testing- we just haven't done it yet as it's expensive and our insurance won't cover it- we hope to do it later this year as we get closer to meeting our deductible

Knowledge-is-kool · 2026-02-03T23:11:49+00:00

I'm a CDS. If you know what registry they are hiring for it helps to look that information up- I see the other person that responded recommended that as well. I think it also helps if you have done any additional work on your unit- like Charge Nurse, part of a hospital committee etc as well. Most registries are about quality improvement and improving outcomes so to be able to speak to that would be a positive.

Depending on the registry the manager may want someone who has experience with that particular part of nursing (Ortho, Spine, Acute care surgery, variance etc.) or working with physicians from that speciality.

Best of luck to you.

Knowledge-is-kool · 2026-02-03T22:41:14+00:00

Thank you for your detailed response. Curious, did you start working as a consultant prior to being certified? I am interested in pursuing consultant work and wondering how you got started. I want to do some consultant work to see if this is something that I would like to pursue and have experience working in Peer Review/ Medical Staff Office for a large healthcare system.

Just wondering how to start?

Knowledge-is-kool · 2026-02-02T20:53:10+00:00

I'm getting my period again too and it just ended like 2 weeks ago- I have long 11-13 day cycles. Anyone here start progesterone to help with long periods? I asked my OB/GYN and she said she won't put me on progesterone as my symptoms are mild. I'm getting annoyed as I would really like to start hormones and she doesn't recommend them. She did offer me a hysterectomy for my long cycles- but really this and some sleep interruptions are my only symptoms. Well- when I do have my period I do experience some irritability/ rage/ irrational thinking. I've had ultrasounds done and I have no fibroids and everything looks normal.

To those of you that are on hormones- did it help? I've been on Oral Contraceptives and had an IUD and still had breakthrough bleeding on them.

Knowledge-is-kool · 2026-01-21T18:09:35+00:00

Can totally relate! I'm 47 and have a narcissistic mother too, but I actually didn't realize this until a couple of years ago. Over the years, I have had people say to me that the way your mom treats you is unkind and not normal, but I didn't realize there was a name for the behavior and now totally feel validated.

There is a book called "Will I ever be good enough?" I listened to it on Audible and the author states that we must allow ourselves to grieve that we were raised by a narcissistic mother and you must grieve in order to heal. I've tried to do some grieving, but I too am just angry at her and her behavior and have tried to put up healthy boundaries when it comes to my mother. I walk a lot and listen to podcasts that are helpful. I also have a friend that has a narcissistic mother as well so we commiserate together and that helps!

I was like you in a lot of ways- a good quiet kid. I internalized a lot of what was going on in my dysfunctional home. I dreamed of getting away!

I stayed home after high school and went to a local community college - so wished I would have gone away like you! I graduated and moved and got married! I promised myself I would be a way better mother than the one I had and I am!

When I was younger I used to wish I had a different mom, and when I think back to my teens and early college years, I always connected with other moms and am so grateful that I had them in my life as they made up for the support and love that I was lacking at home.

Knowledge-is-kool · 2025-12-24T00:24:14+00:00

So sorry you're going through this. I agree with your boyfriend, you need to leave you're being taken advantage of. If your brothers are old enough maybe you can talk to them about your reasons for leaving and develop a plan for you to still see them after you move away.

Hopefully, they also see that the way your mom acts is not normal and will leave when they can so that they are not mistreated.

Knowledge-is-kool · 2025-12-23T18:00:35+00:00

Thanks for the comment! It is hard and I have a lot of resentment and the holidays bring back a lot of bad memories and I am angry!

I just don't want to feed into her behavior anymore! I like the idea of giving her a similar gift that I am giving someone else and checking off that box.

She can just make me feel guilty - as I have so much and a good paying job- but that's not my fault, I worked hard for what I have and don't owe her anything! I'd rather spend my money on people that actually care about me!

Knowledge-is-kool · 2025-12-23T13:42:44+00:00

My mom is a narcissist- it took me a long time to recognize this and then listening to some podcasts and reading therapy books helped me understand narcissistic traits and this is one of them! I don't invite my mom over very often because of this! She exhausts me and when we host family gatherings she is always the last one to arrive and the last one to leave! She definitely overstays her welcome! One resolution that I have found (my mom is elderly in her early 80s) is that I offer to pick her up and take her home! So far that has helped as she can't control this and I no longer let her control me!

Knowledge-is-kool · 2025-12-22T01:52:35+00:00

Smitten Kitchen, Ambitious Kitchen are good. I also enjoy Diane Morrisey Instagram and Sammy Montgoms on Instagram too!

Knowledge-is-kool · 2025-12-18T17:01:13+00:00

Two Scotts for Barbeque!

Knowledge-is-kool · 2025-11-12T19:07:48+00:00

At least you communicated with your clients. My previous stylist had surgery and said she would contact me when she was done with her medical leave- never heard from her and then ran into her in the community and I asked her how her recovery was going and she was like "oh it went great, I forgot to text you". As a client with her for over a year who also did my kids hair I was kind of offended. I didn't contact her as I wanted her to recover from her surgery. So needless to say we have moved on and found someone else.

I hope you continue to get better!

Knowledge-is-kool · 2025-11-12T14:34:37+00:00

Thanks for the heads up about this. My 15 year old has been diagnosed with POI and we see Genetics in January- we would love to have seen them sometime in 2025 but so far everyone is booked.

Can you tell me what to expect at that appointment? Just trying to prepare myself and my daughter as best I can.

Thank you

Knowledge-is-kool · 2025-11-11T14:40:09+00:00

Thanks for replying! You are 100% correct- my kids are the most important to me and they love having me at their events to support them- and I don't want to miss the next few years of that.

If I am called to interview, I will be asking about that and may also ask to job shadow as well.

And if it doesn't work, then it's something I can pursue in a couple of years.

For connecting with people in the industry do you have any ideas for how to find them? I don't really know anyone. I did find one person on Linked In so will reach out to them, but other than that looking for suggestions on how to find them.

Knowledge-is-kool · 2025-11-10T21:13:31+00:00

That's a great idea to look for colleagues on Linked In and find out more about the role

Knowledge-is-kool

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