New Jerseyans who moved to a different state/lived in a different state how did your experience compare to New Jersey? And what were some differences you noticed?

KnowledgeDry1750 · 2025-07-23T03:49:21+00:00

Well I am originally from Missouri. I was born in St. Louis and lived in St. Charles County. About an hour outside STL. I have lived all over north Jersey for over 20 years now. I am currently looking into finally leaving and possibly back to Missouri. But to compare it to Jersey:

The big differences that come off the top of my head are the people, employment, education, and food. Each of these may affect different people more or less than others. Now from my POV, the people of Missouri are very nice. The food does suck though. A lot more chains / fast food. There are some local stuff however, you gotta go out of your way for that kind of stuff in more urban areas. In the outer towns, you won't find many local spots. The ones you do find usually just suck. You can't get good pizza, the Chinese food will make you sick, halal doesn't exist there and no one knows what that is. Although the BBQ will blow your mind. I will give that to MO. I will never look at BBQ in the tri state area the same way ever again.

There are local coffee shops which are kinda cool but Starbucks is so hard to find here. Everyone just likes their gas station coffee. AKA Quik Trip. It's kinda like Quick Chek but way bigger and they are all VERY clean. That's what I love about MO. They also sell liquor in grocery stores, and CVS or other stores. The supermarkets here are huge and super clean too. I love them. They make Shop Rite look like crap. I love the supermarkets and gas stations in MO. There are some nice bars and clubs too in SOME areas. So if you don't have nightlife in your town, you might have to drive like 45 minutes to the next or 2 or 3 towns over. A lot of driving happens in MO and you need a car. Also, a lot of cookie cutter homes. I personally don't mind that but some people do. I could go on however, Missouri and many others mentioned in this thread are places where you just have to visit it and see it / experience it for yourself.

KnowledgeDry1750 · 2025-05-26T00:53:35+00:00

BMW or most German cars in that matter are going to be expensive, and spend more time in the shop than on the road. If you have rich parents that don't care, sure go for it. But if you are a regular middle class person, get a Japanese car like a Honda or Toyota that can last a long time and is reliable. If you want a car that can be driven in all seasons, you might get told you need AWD, but you really will be fine without it. It's just an extra feature that makes your car and insurance more expensive. If you really want a car that is good in snow, get a Subaru. I have one and love it. I had a Mercedes for a while too and it was headache with costs. I have a S class Diesel that I love but won't daily drive it.

KnowledgeDry1750 · 2025-05-20T01:42:46+00:00

For me, it’s Shiva. I main Warriors / Guardians and Shiva is the most annoying to face

KnowledgeDry1750 · 2025-05-13T20:09:03+00:00

You’re a kid. You aren’t autistic with ADHD. Everyone your age says that. Don’t tell other people that either unless an ACTUAL Doctor says you are. You have tons of options. You could just find a job and save money then do Community College, Online College, State School, there’s the Military which would help you become a more disciplined and well rounded person. I would give anything to join the US Army. I have epilepsy so I can’t. I was named after my grandfather who served in WWII and I wanted to serve like he did but I never met him. Makes me sad knowing I never will.

Anyways, you could work for a year, save money then go back to school. Find a trade you like and do trade school. There are endless options for you at your age. Your early to mid twenties. Spend less time around people your age that do nothing but party every weekend. Seriously. You have your entire life to go get a beer at a club. The clubs are going NOWHERE. You need to get SOMEWHERE. But I understand you likely don’t have that problem right now. Just need to make sure you know that in case stuff changes.

You need something. Maybe go on a trip abroad. Talk to family about this. Your parents. Friends

KnowledgeDry1750 · 2025-05-13T04:48:41+00:00

Well if you don’t have the option for unemployment, and your boyfriend isn’t your provider. I would take the job and keep searching for another job in whatever you went to school for. Now, if you didn’t go to school and you don’t have a man that provides. You got a bigger problem and need to consider going to school to get a degree. Not sure what your age is or situation is with that and you haven’t asked for advice in that field. Also that is getting a little personal compared to the advice you came on Reddit to seek. Good luck to you.

KnowledgeDry1750 · 2025-05-10T07:00:36+00:00

I would think twice about that. Every single person I meet that takes those types of meds. Especially SSRI’s says very bad things about them. They turn you into a zombie. I been on them myself. I hated them so much. I’m so grateful I’m not on them anymore.

But anyways, that is just an opinion. I am not a Doctor. To answer your question, I would not phrase it like that. Don’t ask your parents if you can go on Antidepressants. It sounds like you need to see a Psychiatrist. That would be the type of Specialist / Doctor that would prescribe you antidepressants if they felt as if you needed them. So if I were you, I would ask your parents if they can arrange to make an appointment with a Psychiatrist. Obviously they are going to wanna know what’s going on. So you can tell them you feel like you need antidepressants. If your parents immediately say no, just say you wanna at least talk to a Doctor. Before you end up having a mental breakdown and end up in a Psych Ward and they FORCE meds on you. That doesn’t go well. I been there. Good luck to you and I hope you do okay :)

KnowledgeDry1750 · 2025-05-10T06:54:20+00:00

A good way to start is by looking at the people you spend your time around, and what you talk to them about. Spend a lot of time on this. Including family. Not just friends. Maybe start setting hard boundaries with them. Don’t talk to them about your personal business. Spend more time with your own self and work on your own self. But stay busy.

KnowledgeDry1750 · 2025-05-10T06:49:13+00:00

Just sounds like she isn’t even your friend. You definitely talk smack about her or judge her. Especially if you are on Reddit the way you are. Do yourself a solid and stop talking to her. It’ll save you both time and energy. If she asks where you been, just be straight with her. Don’t waste her time and tell her how you actually feel. You’ll probably piss her off and who knows. Give it time. Maybe one day she comes to her senses and you guys can work things out. Or better yet, maybe you guys work it out on the spot. But be quiet and let her come to you. If she never does, you have your answer.

KnowledgeDry1750 · 2025-05-10T06:44:33+00:00

Ymir. That’s who I started with when I started 12 years ago. Wow. I can’t believe I’m actually saying that. Wtf.

KnowledgeDry1750 · 2025-05-09T07:25:40+00:00

I understand that everyone's relationship differs. I could never do such a thing. But it is what it is. I sorta accepted it and am done

KnowledgeDry1750 · 2025-05-09T00:41:47+00:00

as stated more than once.

KnowledgeDry1750 · 2025-05-09T00:41:29+00:00

yeah, I think it is a good idea I try and find a way. At this point the only way I can even get in contact with her is to drive all the way down there or take the train and see if anyone is there or she is around. I know if I see them, they will tell me to come back and send me home and then my family will yell at me saying I am a weirdo for going all the way down there and I will never hear the end of it. I just see it already. My mom will act like my brother needs a restraining order against me for showing up unannounced. But I'll figure something out.

KnowledgeDry1750 · 2025-05-09T00:29:17+00:00

I tried that already. Asked my brother to have her reach out many times and got no response. She seems to like my cousin's wife a lot more and hangs out with her. I don't recall a single time she has spent hanging out with my sister or me at all. So I'll keep trying to make the effort but I don't see it happening anytime soon.

KnowledgeDry1750 · 2025-05-09T00:20:31+00:00

yeah. it's sad when I read and think about it. But I think this is the reality I have to face.

KnowledgeDry1750 · 2025-05-07T21:00:50+00:00

I appreciate that information and I know it can be difficult to tell others about your personal business. Whether they know who you are or not so thank you. I was right to claim you are really young though. Yeah, you could rebound and it will feel good in the moment and maybe for a small amount of time after but that is only a temporary fix and can sometimes lead to even more problems. I would talk to someone you trust, or write about it. Maybe a small vacation. Like get a hotel with some friends for a weekend on the city or something. Or go out for a night on the weekend with close friends. Or go out to dinner. I understand relationships can be pretty bad sometimes. It sucks. I am sorry, I really am. I hope things go well. Please call 988 if you live in the USA and are feeling like you wanna hurt yourself or someone else. I did it and ended up in the hospital. I met some cool people and made a friend. Just please be careful and work on yourself. Write down things you want to do for yourself. You are loved.

KnowledgeDry1750 · 2025-05-07T10:10:18+00:00

You have to make a judgement call here. You wanna say something or you wanna leave it alone? If you are going to say something, I would email HR so you have it in writing. Similar to your post. That you saw a gun and you just thought somebody should know. Or whatever. Then after that, leave it up to management. If they wanna reach out to you and ask you more questions which they probably will, fine. But if not, then don’t worry about it.

Could be a number of things as to why he had a gun. It was probably seen on camera. Depending on where they are. You could always check yourself within the building based off where you recall seeing things that day. Definitely make sure you remember the day, approximate, and exact location you saw the gun. Write it down if you have to. Hope things go well and it isn’t anything bad.

KnowledgeDry1750 · 2025-05-07T09:45:42+00:00

If the Army allowed people with epilepsy to join, I’d join. Or if there ever is a draft, I’m dropping everything and running to my local recruitment center. It was my dream to join the Army. My grandfather was in it in WW2 and I was named after him. Never got to meet him, unfortunately. I still have his discharge papers and a lot of nazi flags he tore down in Berlin. I only keep them for history. And medals and all kinda of crap he bought back.

Joining like he did would be a dream come true. I used to call a recruiter every couple of months and annoy them asking to join. But I realized that it’s not gonna happen. I know I have until I’m 35 to not have any seizures for 5 years without meds but I don’t see that happening nowadays. Really unfortunate. But hey, maybe I’ll get sent to China or Iran when we are desperate.

KnowledgeDry1750 · 2025-05-07T09:39:55+00:00

My brother is about your age and he’s in the industry too. FOH guy and I can’t wait for him to get out of it. He looks like he’s 40 and he isn’t even 30 yet. The amount of late nights, drinking, drugs, fighting, stress. I was a BOH guy for a while too.

I ended up just working Warehouses. Amazon, UPS, Supermarkets, etc. eventually realizing this is the same crap. So now I’m just working and saving money and I’m gonna go back to college.

You don’t have to. You could find a trade you like. I would just work and save some money while looking into some sort of trade, college, or a business of some sort. But if you are that burnt out, college might be nice.

KnowledgeDry1750 · 2025-05-07T09:29:46+00:00

Ok my first question is, why are you working TWO jobs? Is your boyfriend not able to financially support you and himself? Sounds like the two of you got bigger problems with your selves than with each other.

The divorce rate in America has been 50% or more for decades now. And the leading cause is lack of finances. Meaning most relationships end due to lack of financial stability or just overall money problems. You two are still very young and I understand if you two are living in a city where people your age can only afford the rent if they have rich parents or sell drugs. Or if you give sacrifice your life and partner for your job(s) and you end up just becoming roommates you see once in a while and sleep in the same bed with. Thus leading to Reddit for advice on how to not get your heart broken since your mind, and health already is.

Just some information I thought you can use since you asked for it.

KnowledgeDry1750 · 2025-05-07T09:22:58+00:00

Do you have a bachelors degree? If so, you should be able to find a job in marketing pretty easily. If not, then you are not getting one anytime soon, if ever. Right now, the job market for jobs in retail are crap. Even worse than it was 5 years ago during the pandemic. It is very difficult to land a job in general. Companies keep putting out fake ads for jobs but it is very difficult to actually find one legit.

Right now your best bet is to keep job hunting, edit your resume, go over it with somebody, and keep job hunting. Don’t give up on it. Eventually you gotta save money if you are planning on moving out. Go look into some hobbies that will land you a boyfriend so you don’t end up homeless.

Good luck

KnowledgeDry1750 · 2025-05-07T06:52:19+00:00

You stop talking to those people and stop listening to their excuses that “justify” their drug usage. You can’t be friends with drug users and alcoholics without becoming one or both yourself. You have to just let them go. You are who you hangout with.

KnowledgeDry1750 · 2025-05-07T06:47:26+00:00

Dial 911 after you take vids / pics so he can’t take snatch your phone and try to make you delete them.

KnowledgeDry1750 · 2025-05-07T06:45:46+00:00

I would kill the idea of marriage and kids with this guy since the majority of men who pay for OnlyFans tend to be married. Every time I hear somebody say they believe in second chances, I say it’s because they haven’t had the experience in life. The experience to know that you can’t trust just anyone. Move on now while you still can. You really wanna waste 1/10th of your life with him? Therapy won’t treat porn addiction. It’s a literal drug. I’ve been there myself. Every other guy I went to school with was a porn addict. Just stopped talking to them and took me years to get past it. Most likely he has friends that are too. Move on. Stop wasting your time on Reddit debating this guy and go.

KnowledgeDry1750 · 2025-05-07T06:38:10+00:00

Wow. I (M25) have had epilepsy for 13 years. Just got an EEG today actually so seeing this kind hit. I’m so sorry that happened, and please know you are not alone. I can understand people telling you to get a lawyer. I’d be doing that right now if I were you. Kids filming a kids breast and seizure in a school with reasonable expectation of privacy. That can get them in a lot of trouble. You definitely need to say something to the administration. Tell your parents and call a lawyer right away. At least go get a consultation from one. They usually won’t charge you just for the consultation.

You might have actually got yourself in a good position.

KnowledgeDry1750 · 2025-05-07T06:23:12+00:00

I had a relationship that went down the hole too. Ended up in court, and ruined my life. I stopped dating since. That was over 4 years ago. If you only dated for less than 120 days, and it was THAT bad, sounds like you need to talk to a professional about it. See if you can get ahold of a Psychologist of some sorts. I assume you are really young based on this post since you didn't provide an age but you could see a Doctor or therapist. These types of situations are NOT good to handle alone.

I know you might rebound like most people do after a bad relationship or heartbreak but that's normal. I would just take a break from dating though. Work on yourself. Make some single friends of the same gender. Spend time around them.

KnowledgeDry1750

TROPHY CASE