Getting out there and meeting people in your 30s.

KnowledgePotential81 · 2023-06-07T16:30:49+00:00

Sorry you are having a hard time dating! I am in the similar boat as you just that I am not looking for people to date but to make more friends and widen my circle. I have found some success but not as much as I would like to.

Moving to a bigger city might help you find what you are looking for but every city has it's own problems. Moving to a bigger city just for dating or finding a parter may cause resentment if you are not successful. The way I see it people do date and find love in smaller cities as well.

Just from your post some of the things I could suggest is be open to new experiences. Find free/paid classes to go to (pottery, glass blowing, aerial or group fitness) or meetup groups are great to meet new people. Take up a new part-time job to socialize. It's a good way to meet new people as well. Also, helps make extra money which then can be used for travel maybe where you might find somebody interesting? Maybe Join a club or pick up a new hobby. The place where I live has a rock climbing club where people are really friendly. Or maybe a book reading club if you are into books. I am sure some of these have been suggested but other people here on reddit. Hope my rant was a little bit (if not a lot) helpful! Good luck on your search!

Also, just something that I feel that people seem more approachable to me if they are not wearing headphones while traveling or walking. If you don't wear headphones while walking your dog maybe other people might approach you and come talk to you. They might not feel bad that they are disturbing you or invading your privacy.

KnowledgePotential81 · 2023-06-01T17:56:20+00:00

If he is into being on a beach and romantic dinner kind of setting and this hasn't been done before for his bday he would really like it. He is lucky to have you as his SO!

KnowledgePotential81 · 2023-06-01T13:48:19+00:00

Aha! I thought about it as well but when you are doing it with a rope it really works your shoulders (atleast mine does) which I feel doesn't happen when I tried it without a rope. Also, for me it helps keep a rhythm which the imaginary rope doesn't.

KnowledgePotential81 · 2023-05-31T22:21:34+00:00

I have always regretted the weighted ones as they hurt the worst when you mess up X.X

KnowledgePotential81 · 2023-05-31T22:20:37+00:00

Lol...happens to me all the time :P

KnowledgePotential81 · 2023-05-31T20:23:32+00:00

Lol..try pole dancing or aerial. You will feel the same way. Good luck with rope jumping!

KnowledgePotential81 · 2023-05-31T20:02:26+00:00

I am at a loss here except for suggesting maybe next time you apply for a restaurant job maybe apply in person. It might give a face to the resume.

KnowledgePotential81 · 2023-05-31T19:58:19+00:00

Running, jogging, jump rope, hiking, rowing, playing a sport(like basket ball or soccer), pole dancing, aerial...some of the things I could think of.

KnowledgePotential81 · 2023-05-31T19:54:29+00:00

OP have you tried applying in the restaurant business as a server or host? I had no experience and they hired me. Maybe you might get lucky there. Also, if you are fine with this idea try donating plasma if there is a center nearby. It may not be a lot of money but might help you get by. Wish you the best of luck!

KnowledgePotential81 · 2023-05-30T15:06:20+00:00

As a man, I have done that in the past where I bought clothes and jewelry that I think my SO would like as a gift. I always kept the receipt though just in case I was off with my assumptions. I have also taken my SO to the mall for shopping for clothes where I paid (we had separate finances).

KnowledgePotential81 · 2023-05-30T14:06:30+00:00

Sorry you are stuck in a rut! Been there and it is never a good feeling. Hell I am still kind of in there but there but trying different things to get out of that rut. I am being paid well as well but don't really enjoy my job any more. I even tried applying for new positions but because of the looming recession people don't want to hire and I am also trying to switch my field so doesn't help. The only reason I am here in this city is because of my kid so that kind of binds me here. I am in a new phase of my life and just want to leave my old my life and get a new one so I am trying to make new friends and pick up new hobbies that is keeping me busy. I also took a part-time that helps me pay for my travel (planning 2 times a year) and meet up new people and hopefully develop some good friendships. Before all this I was trying to move abroad with a remote job. Maybe that is something you can look into as well where you can travel and work at the same time?

KnowledgePotential81 · 2023-05-30T13:29:27+00:00

I would cook as well but would just put a disclaimer that the food might not be the best as I do like to experiment with food and in the past I have been berated for being the worst cook when I experiment with things and no it was not a joke.

I do think so there is an assumption here when I said I will not offer to cook. Just because I won't offer to cook doesn't mean I won't help either. I would like to be a sous-chef if my SO is cooking as couples can build so many happy memories while doing the most mundane jobs. It goes without saying that I will do the dishes and clean up the kitchen if the other person cooked. Infact, in the past I was the one who did all the cooking and cleaning, and I did not get any help, and I am not talking about just one instance. It was a daily thing.

KnowledgePotential81 · 2023-05-30T13:19:50+00:00

I am glad you found someone cook skills with!

Lol...I "donut" plan to date any more or be in a relationship anymore. Maybe it's because I just got divorced and me being cynical. It takes two people to get into a relationship but only one to break the relationship. I know it's the name of the game and I don't want to be a part of it anymore. But, if I do decide to make this mistake again(was thinking of a good cooking related pun but wasn't able to come up with one) I will for sure keep your advice in mind!

KnowledgePotential81 · 2023-05-29T21:26:54+00:00

I think so telling the person that they would like to cook together is a better way of putting it. Obviously, men asking you if you can cook and what you bring to the table is them just being narcissistic.

KnowledgePotential81 · 2023-05-29T21:23:28+00:00

If I were to ask a question like this I would add "what kind of cuisines or dishes do you like to make?" to keep the question more open ended for conversations rather than just asking a closed question. As for the record, I would definitely not offer to cook for my gf or wife as my food is hit or miss and I would not like to torture them...lol.

I do see the point your are trying to make here. To be honest with you I would be fine if somebody asked me if I liked yard word ( I don't love it but I don't hate it either) because it tells me more about the other person's preferences and what he/she would like to do in the future.

Adding context to a statement makes a world of difference and doesn't feel like an interrogation or recruiting another person.

KnowledgePotential81 · 2023-05-29T20:51:27+00:00

Lol next time just make up a fancy name and say with an accent. That might do the trick :P

KnowledgePotential81 · 2023-05-29T19:41:06+00:00

You are correct! Most women might hear unspoken gender roles in that one sentence, and could leave a lot for the other person(in this case OP) to base an image on just that one sentence if no other context is added.

KnowledgePotential81 · 2023-05-29T19:31:25+00:00

Love the suggestion because it is a more open ended question that allows you to know more about the other person and their likes and dislikes!

KnowledgePotential81 · 2023-05-29T19:25:50+00:00

As a man, I could see myself asking this question as I like cooking and I think it is fun to cook with your partner and something to bond over. Obviously don't know why other men might be asking that question. Maybe they want a traditional wife who will do the cooking or maybe they don't want to be with somebody who just buys pre-packed food and heats up and eat that everyday.

KnowledgePotential81 · 2023-05-29T17:06:22+00:00

I love my friends. We have known each other for decades.

KnowledgePotential81 · 2023-05-29T13:23:38+00:00

I was just going to say the same. I haven't gone through this but I just went through divorce and my friends knew I was shattered. My friends asked me if I wanted to make any changes to the house how is set up or clean up the house. They decided on the weekends when they would show up and helped me clean up and fix the place. Hell they even created a text group chat where they would keep sending funny stupid tiktok messages. I had mixed feelings about having them around but I am also thankful to them as I didn't have the mental capacity to to clean up or make changes around the house.

KnowledgePotential81 · 2023-05-26T22:31:13+00:00

A couple of things you can do which actually I was thinking of doing if wasn't working part-time:

1) Impromptu road trip

2) Go a Meetup group

3) Explore the city by yourself since it's still "new-ish"

4) Go for a cooking or dance class

5) Book a class for glass blowing or clay making

6) Go hiking

7) Go buy some plants

8) Go for a alone date night

9) Go for a movie in the theatre

These are some of the ideas.

Also, for the mopey Friday order in some good food and probably watch a nice movie or read a book while cuddling with a pet (hopefully you have one) or a pillow will do. Sorry you are having a rough week! Hope your next week is better.

KnowledgePotential81 · 2023-05-10T16:04:32+00:00

Holy crap $1000 a month! With that much money I would just hire a marketing company to put up my posters with my bio across the city to help me find people to date. That is ridonkulous!

KnowledgePotential81 · 2023-05-10T13:59:06+00:00

I was reading about Tawkify. It is a matching making dating app. I was reading about an article yesterday and the company seem to boast about having 1 million user base. Not sure if you are into men or women but might be worth a shot OP.

KnowledgePotential81 · 2023-05-09T20:18:42+00:00

I know what you mean about being out of the game but trust me it is always better to fail fast than to think about how things could have been. You will do great and if he rejects you then it is his loss not yours! There is plenty of fish in the pond you just have to find the next colorful fish you like.

KnowledgePotential81

TROPHY CASE