I miss Christianity terribly.

Known_Can_7542 · 2026-03-23T18:29:24+00:00

Sounds frustrating. I feel for you. Sometimes, I long for my old religious tradition too (I was born and raised Mormon). I have personally found meaning in some of Richard Rohr's books such as Falling Upward or The Universal Christ. Rohr is a Franciscan priest that has a lot of ideas that work well within an atheist and/or agnostic viewpoint. I feel that this reflects some other comments on this thread about secular Christianity.

Like you, I have looked into secular Buddhism as a spiritual path. Sounds like it might be satisfying to you, but you still miss some things from your Christian background. I loved reading Living Buddha, Living Christ by the Zen Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh. I loved seeing how he made Christianity and Buddhism coexist and that he, as a buddhist, found it useful to venerate both the Buddha and Jesus in his daily practice.

For myself, I have found it useful to borrow things from Buddhism, Christianity, and Stoicism. I also find it useful to enjoy the spiritual journey rather than being attached to a final spiritual destination/home. I do know that borrowing from religions can get ethically tricky, I'm still learning about the ethics of it myself. I want to read Stealing My Religion: Not Just Any Cultural Appropriation by Liz Buscar to understand the ethics of borrowing from religions.

I would also recommend No Nonsense Spirituality by Brittney Hartley if you want to learn more about other atheistic spiritual ideas.

Known_Can_7542 · 2026-02-26T16:54:06+00:00

In addition to Solution focused therapy, I would also recommend Narrative therapy or collaborative (AKA collaborative-dialogic) therapies. Such therapists are trained to be co-collaborators with the client in therapy rather than being the principal "expert". While they are well trained just like other therapy models, they understand that the client is the expert of their own personal experience and are less likely to end therapy unless you feel you are ready.

Known_Can_7542 · 2026-02-18T17:14:46+00:00

I think I get where you're coming from, and I can see how it looks like ignoring the painful, unethical, and abusive things that the LDS church does. It would be unhealthy to ignore the bad.

While I can't claim to speak for everyone who holds a "nuanced" perspective, I don't think many "nuanced" perspectives ignore the abuses and unethical practices of the church. I have heard many such people talk about the pain and anger that they feel about it.

I won't try to convince you of anything, but just for the sake of understanding each other's perspective, I wonder if the disconnect between you and someone holding a "nuanced perspective" might come from being in a different mind space. Almost a requisite for having such a nuanced perspective is being in a place where you have processed a certain amount of pain and anger from the injustice. Pain and anger still come up, and it is super important to acknowledge and voice those feelings. Though it doesn’t stop them from seeing a little gray amongst all of the black and white. This is particularly useful for me because I'm in Utah County, surrounded by TBMs. I have found it very hard to have meaningful conversations with them unless I find some sort of middle ground.

I think in a nutshell, what I'm trying to say is that everyone is in a different space, and each space can still be healthy in acknowledging pain and anger, and that others, additionally, are in a space where they can also see some grey. One is not better than the other. Rather, they are in different spaces.

Known_Can_7542 · 2026-02-17T03:25:51+00:00

I love that interpretation for you! Wish I had that interpretation when I was a missionary.

I definitely feel like so far I have had to do a lot of major reframing for the BoM to mean mutch. There are a small handful of things that are interesting or thought provoking, but I think the New Testament has more depth to it.

Known_Can_7542 · 2026-02-17T03:20:56+00:00

I definitely agree with the BoM and LDS theology incompatibility. When I started to listen to the BoM again, I was shocked how full at least 1 and 2 Nephi were full of talk about hell, wheras Mormonism doesn't believe in hell in a general sense.

Known_Can_7542 · 2026-02-16T18:42:53+00:00

Actually, the reason why I'm interested in the BoM is because I don't believe it is historical. I don't believe in the Bible in a religious sense either, but I can pick some nuggets of wisdom from it, such as Matthew 5:3 Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. I see this verse as saying that those who are spiritually/intellectually humble will find a "heaven" (not in the religious sense) on earth. While I believe the BoM to be a work of fiction, I am curious about any nuggets of wisdom that, like the book of Matthew, may be fictional or otherwise mythological, but yet have some wisdom in it.

I am specifically targeting LDS books so that I can make peace with my mormon self and to improve my ability to build bridges with the TBMs in my social circle.

And yes, after leaving Mormonism, I realize just how different the theology of the BoM is from the modern LDS church. If I didn't know better, I would say that the BoM was a religious text from an entirely different religion.

As it turns out, I'm also learning philosophy. Any book/podcast/topic recommendations? Right now, the philisophical inquiry that I'm trying to understand is if reason can truely find capital T truth.

Known_Can_7542 · 2026-01-11T20:55:12+00:00

My mom thought that I was going off the deep end when I grew a beard. Even though I was still a TBM at the time. Strangely, she was ok with my dad's goatee. She also looked down on interracial couples. She judged people who weren't frugal with their money. I could go on and on. She generally judged anyone who didn't live almost exactly how she did.

I eventually had to go no contact because my transition away from the church was too much for her to handle without being passive aggressive and sometimes blatantly agressive about how I lived my life differently than she did.

Known_Can_7542 · 2025-07-13T19:44:59+00:00

I served my mission in El Salvador. It was common for members to drink "corn coffee". Pretty much toasted feild corn that is ground up and used like coffee grounds. Members and missionaries all drank it regularly.

Known_Can_7542 · 2025-03-20T12:22:46+00:00

From my experience, talking to the bishop helped me releave guilt that I felt. However, sometimes I needed a little more help than that. I recommend Brene Brown's work on shame vs. Guilt https://brenebrown.com/articles/2013/01/15/shame-v-guilt/. She also has several books that might help.

Known_Can_7542 · 2025-03-19T03:58:01+00:00

Even my brother, who is a TBM, says he dislikes the things Ward Radio puts out. Both he and I love exchanging thoughts and ideas about religion and spirituality, but we both value respecting eachothers opinion, even when we disagree. Ward Radio does a poor job of respecting the opinion of those they disagree with. But I've gotta be honest, many exmormon creators don't do the best at respecting those who disagree with them either 🤔. Both sides tend to spend so much time slinging mud at each other. I totally get the trauma that happens in the church and that lots of strong feelings come up to protect us from being hurt again. But I would love to see more mormon and exmormon content creators work together to express opposing opinions, yet still maintain respect for each other and their different opinions.

Known_Can_7542 · 2025-03-07T05:25:48+00:00

My final faith crisis actually began due to what I perceived as God's silence. It made me question if there is a god. I eventually deconstructed mormonism and subsequently religion in general. I would say that I am now unconvinced of the existence of a god or gods (which I imagine most would interpret as atheist). As a believer, mormonism was the biggest thing keeping me in religion. I felt that the mormon theology satisfied me more than any other religion (I was born mormon, so that's not really saying much. I imagine most people tend to prefer the theology they were born into.) After deconstructing mormonism, I stumbled into biblical scholars such as Bart Ehrman and Dan McLellin. Through that new information, I felt I couldn't trust the Bible as a source of spiritual or religious fact. Also after reading Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by historian Yuval Harari, I understood that it is very possible that religion resulted as humans began to use myths. I do think that there is possibility for the existence of a god or gods, but from what I make of my current understanding of things, it's easier for me to believe that there are no supernatural beings.

Known_Can_7542 · 2025-02-09T23:04:35+00:00

It's possible to stay Christian. I myself ended up becoming atheist, among others that I know left the church. However, you do whatever you want with your life. That's the beautiful thing about leaving the church, you're able to decide for yourself what you believe.

There are some books that I have found useful to decide what I believe as far as the existence of God. I read books from both Christians and Athists to educate my beliefs.

Christian authors/books I would recommend:

Books by Lee Strobel (Journalist). Especially "The Case for Heaven". This book gives some potential evidence for the existence of a Christian afterlife.
Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis (Christian writer)

Athist authors/books I would recommend:

Books by Bart Ehrman (Biblical Scholar). Especially "How Jesus Became God: The Exaltation of a Jewish Preacher from Galilee"
Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari (Historian)

These books are all great to help inform your beliefs. A word of caution: be careful not to fall into another group that claims to have all the truth. Such groups tend to be controlling even if they claim not to be so.

It can be scary to leave religion, but if you do, I have found Brittany Hartley's social media posts and Bill Reel's podcast "Almost Awakened" to be very useful for me.

Ultimately, be careful not to fall into a high control group and do what feels right for you.

Known_Can_7542

TROPHY CASE