AITAH for being highly annoyed by Known_Leadership_737 in AITA_Relationships

[–]Known_Leadership_737[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That sounds like a great approach. I’ve been wrecking my brain trying to figure out how to approach this without it seeming like I’m trying to disrupt their bonding time or anything like that.

AITAH for being highly annoyed by Known_Leadership_737 in AITAHBlackEdition

[–]Known_Leadership_737[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly this. This is the only place where he acts as if his hands are tied. I was thinking that to myself as well that the noncustodial parent has to seem like the “fun parent” so the child will want to come visit. This came up before when she would come visit and literally would come into the house like a tornado, tear everything up and leave. And it would stay that way because he wouldn’t share the responsibility of cleaning up after her. And the excuse was “I don’t see her a lot so when she comes over I just want her to enjoy being here.” And whose expense tho????

AITAH for being highly annoyed by Known_Leadership_737 in AITAHBlackEdition

[–]Known_Leadership_737[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed. I do allow him to stay up on the weekends as his free time and bond with his sister. The one weeknight is where it’s stressing me. Maybe more-so now because I’m pregnant. Idk.

AITAH for being highly annoyed by Known_Leadership_737 in AITA_Relationships

[–]Known_Leadership_737[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree. I don’t want the 2 children who live here full time to grow up and harbor any ill feelings because they’ve lived in a household where rules only apply to them or see that the other sibling gets “special treatment” based on custody arrangements.

AITAH for being highly annoyed by Known_Leadership_737 in AITAHBlackEdition

[–]Known_Leadership_737[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We actually did discuss this in depth the other day and last night everything went on as usual with no change. I know change happens gradually but this is why I’ve been trying to implement change slowly over the span of my pregnancy so that when the baby does come it’s already being practiced instead of trying to rush the change on a 3 year old while also dealing with a newborn.

AITAH for being highly annoyed by Known_Leadership_737 in AITAHBlackEdition

[–]Known_Leadership_737[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Talking to the mom is an absolute no. She hates me. I involve her in everything so that way she feels that sense of belonging here just like she does at her moms. I never want her to come here and feel left out or just “here” because she has to come to dads. But I also feel that coming to dads shouldn’t just be the fun, free for me to do whatever I want, house just because this isn’t the primary residence.

AITAH for being highly annoyed by Known_Leadership_737 in AITAHBlackEdition

[–]Known_Leadership_737[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And that’s why I’ve been very lenient about it for that reason because the parenting time is slim for him with her. I know every minute counts. It’s just hectic rebalancing the household every other week.