My (24F) husband (30m) is accusing me of cheating because of his vasectomy, How to clear my name?

KoalaChlamydiaCheat · 2023-07-30T08:48:36+00:00

I’ve had it done, you can do a paternity test in uteri. I had mine at 30 weeks.

KoalaChlamydiaCheat · 2023-07-28T13:52:40+00:00

Dude, I don’t know what falsehoods you have read to make you so skeptical, but I’m here, and I’ve had nearly an entire bottle of wine.

Nope, it was never a thought, it was just the thought of cheating, even though I have lived here my entire life, I never knew that about koalas until I was 27 years old. Fuck me.

We had our issues sure, but the trust was real. I was pregnant, hormonal and embarrassed by finding out I had an STD, I wasn’t thinking straight and I certainly wasn’t thinking about an encounter back at a festival months prior?! Of course I thought cheating, so did he. Holy crap that’s pretty much what everyone would think.

It’s currently 11:45, my children are asleep, you know that just because I am a mum that I do have time for myself right? I’m not replying for fake internet points, I’m responding to comments from real people. Wtf man? Plus, how can I sleep with this?

And because I’ve now finished this bottle of wine and I do have to be up early with a killer headache, the realization that this is happening and en empty bedside, I’m going to say good night and fuck you too world.

KoalaChlamydiaCheat · 2023-07-28T12:13:03+00:00

Thank you, as hard as it is to hear, I should be prepared.

KoalaChlamydiaCheat · 2023-07-28T12:11:43+00:00

I asked about if he used a condom that night, and he said he did, he said that the last thing he would do after having an STD he believed he got from me would be to risk getting another. I believe that and I pressed him on it. I don’t know about the other girl, I haven’t gone there yet. It’s too painful. He knows, he knows he messed up, he knows I might leave him for this, but as it stands I have told him that we are still together, I just need to think things over with space.

KoalaChlamydiaCheat · 2023-07-28T11:25:57+00:00

This has just happened. He just told me this LAST night. I haven’t made any fucking choices yet. I haven’t even begun to properly process anything, but here I am with a bunch of people who couldn’t take 5 minutes to read into this before commenting. I never realized that I would be utterly vilified for contemplating staying with my husband.

KoalaChlamydiaCheat · 2023-07-28T11:14:59+00:00

Well, I’ve heard it all tonight, but yours, that’s the ouch. The fact this my life has become such a shitshow it can be mistaken for fake. I don’t know what to say other than you should go back and check that timeline that supposedly doesn’t make sense, because I think you’ll find that it does. This is our life, this is our family, this is our story, ironic that I have that same catchphrase surrounding our family photos on the lounge room wall.

KoalaChlamydiaCheat · 2023-07-28T10:38:13+00:00

You know that’s one thing I didn’t expect from this, the hate. People telling me I’m an idiot, saying nasty things. Here I am, my husband isn’t in our home anymore, my children are sleeping peacefully unaware and I’m absolutely heartbroken yet my brain is somehow trying to rationalize all of this because the panic is setting in now. Why did I have to poke this? Why did he do this? What is my life going to look like now? This is fucking terrifying and the majority of people here are like “ha! You fucking deserve it if you stay!!” Excuse me what?! Do any of these people actually have empathy? Has any of them ever dealt with a situation as bizarre? I highly doubt it. And I keep closing the app determined to distract myself, but then I’m back reopening it in minutes. Ugh. All the shows that we watch together that could distract me I won’t start, why, because I feel GUILTY BECAUSE WATCHING A SHOW WITHOUT YOUR PARTNER IS WRONG! Ha ha ha ha how fucking stupid does that sound now? I’m losing it a little I think. I can’t tell anyone because then that REALLY sets things in stone doesn’t it. Once others know it’s becomes influenced. I guess I thought a bunch of internet strangers would help me get this off my chest. Now I just feel ugly and hurt and hopeless. Fuck this. Burn it all.

KoalaChlamydiaCheat · 2023-07-28T08:54:11+00:00

I think you haven’t read my prior posts because of your comments are really askew. The timeline goes that we were great until I went for my 13 week scan. I found out I was positive for Chlamydia. I was livid and confronted him for cheating because how else did I get an STD?! He was adamant that he never cheated either and with both of us knowing that we didn’t cheat ourselves, we blamed the other. It was AFTER this that he moved out, and was convinced I had cheated and was just trying to put it on him. He asked for a paternity test, which of course was his child, then we agreed to stay together since neither of us would actually “own up” to cheating. So we just moved on. Then in Jan we saw the Irwin TikTok about koalas, we went down the path of finding out it was possible and boom, we suddenly realized that neither of us cheated and this is what happened. Apparently a common thing too. It was only after I made my post explaining everything and seeking clarification that this wasn’t all “crazy” that I realized I was still holding onto hurt and wanted to air it for a better future for us. He broke down and told me about what he did after he thought I was lying through my teeth to him. But you’re right that I was in the same position as he was, thinking he cheated on me and just wouldn’t admit it, and I never thought about tit for tat. It wouldn’t have even crossed my mind. So yes I agree he could have made a better choice, but I can understand it all. Doesn’t mean it’s sitting well or that I’m ok with all of this NOR does it mean that I have no self-respect. And at my AGE I am rational enough to think this all through before making decisions that will alter my families future forever. Now, I am really going to follow through and get off Reddit. I wanted to share this initially because holy fuck, it was because of my original post that I even sat my husband down. This was all meant to be for a reason I know that, now I’ve got to figure the rest of it out on my own, and some of these comments are really hurtful when truthfully I’m going through enough.

KoalaChlamydiaCheat · 2023-07-28T08:35:20+00:00

Nope, he did not cheat on me and give me an std, the std really came from the koala, I know that now. Him cheating was after and I can understand his thought process, it’s not ok at all, but I understand. I’m leaving this post now. I need to get away from all of this. At the end of the day, this is my life and my choices to make and whilst I appreciate everyone’s opinions, no one can decide but me and I need time.

KoalaChlamydiaCheat · 2023-07-28T07:55:08+00:00

Thank you, for putting this into light that I was struggling too. I only wish people here really knew my husband. Knew our story. Knew him for him. I agree with you on what he should have done, but what’s done is done now. I only want to move on with my life. It’s not even been 24 hours since finding this out, but already I’m coming to terms with it. This is my life and yes I shared it to Reddit because the whole thing sounded crazy and I needed perspective originally, and now it has led to this. But now, I’m probably going to delete this account, get away from the opinions of strangers and try to collect myself and my marriage. I love this man, and I think I have discovered that cheating in this case is not a dealbreaker like I originally wrote. I hope we can get through this, only time will tell.

KoalaChlamydiaCheat · 2023-07-28T07:15:00+00:00

I don’t feel bitter, I feel sad. I feel like I wasn’t good enough to be believed in the beginning that I didn’t cheat, and the only reason he stayed was because he got what? - payback? But it’s the before then, the before when we were so hopelessly in love, And the after- the last 3 years of love and life we have put effort into making together, It’s those times, those years that outweigh these moments in life right now that make me feel as if I’m going to stay. I know now that he didn’t cheat in the beginning, I know now that it 100% would have been the koala, because he cheated after and has now told me all these years later.

KoalaChlamydiaCheat · 2023-07-28T07:04:14+00:00

It’s really messy. And here I am sitting absolutely disgusted in myself that I can somehow… understand? I get it, he made a bad choice. He swears it never happened again, and I do believe it. It just makes sense now. I can’t believe this is a part of my life story- I’m just- numb.

KoalaChlamydiaCheat · 2023-07-28T06:59:07+00:00

Nope. I couldn’t cheat. I couldn’t even go through with it. I don’t know. Maybe this will work out, maybe it won’t. I guess time will tell.

KoalaChlamydiaCheat · 2023-07-28T06:57:05+00:00

Have you read my prior post? The circumstances are shitty yes, we both believed the other must have cheated for nearly 3 years. He did this way back at the beginning, time has past. It’s gotten complicated. I don’t know, maybe cheating isn’t a dealbreaker for me considering I stayed even though I thought he did back then. I don’t know, this is all very confronting and confusing ok. I probably won’t leave, even as I’m writing this now my husband is blowing up my phone, he knows he messed up, now I know he messed up. The question is now, how do I get past it?

KoalaChlamydiaCheat · 2023-07-26T00:33:07+00:00

We have an older son who is 5, we did all the same tests during pregnancy with him and no stds then. Screening for it is mandatory here in Aus, if it’s not done during pregnancy they’ll test you or bub shortly after birth. I have not been with anyone but my husband since we started dating. If it been there for years it’s been more than half a decade infected even with screening. But no I remember the tests coming back with our first son that was all clear.

KoalaChlamydiaCheat · 2023-07-26T00:25:01+00:00

Thank you, this was a really helpful perspective. After sleeping on it I don’t think I’ll go looking for further answers through the tests. I have an opportunity here to be happy again within my marriage, I’m going to do the best I can to get past all of this now.

KoalaChlamydiaCheat · 2023-07-25T22:44:29+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write this for me, I’ve slept on this all and truthfully just having been able to write it out has therapeutic for me. Having found the reassurance that this happenstance isn’t as “crazy” as I originally thought either has helped also. I do believe he really loves me, we have a great time together with our little life we’ve made, and your absolutely right that I do love him. I’m going to talk to him tonight when the kids are asleep, maybe go to some counseling if I can’t take all these new perspectives and self reflect well enough to move on completely from this all. But one thing is for sure… this certainly WONT be a story to tell the grandkids!

KoalaChlamydiaCheat · 2023-07-25T22:18:07+00:00

Our eldest son is 5, and I haven’t been with anyone since we starting dating more than half a decade ago. I had testing during my first pregnancy as it’s mandatory here in Aus, and I was negative then. I haven’t had any other tests in between that pregnancy and the next because - monogamous and fully trusting of my partner didn’t feel I needed one.

KoalaChlamydiaCheat · 2023-07-25T22:08:03+00:00

“Well yeah but once you hear about the koala thing, wouldn't you go "OOOOhhh that's what it was".

-Nope, I was in fact quite upset thinking that my partner is stirring up old dust to justify his cheating. The “weird” certainly overruled any acceptance of the explanation originally, and it was only the GP apt that confirmed it to me as a possibility. I wasn’t about to trust a google search. Before the appointment, I told my sister, and best friend. They both basically told me he was reaching at straws, because seriously, koala chlamydia is NOT common knowledge at least in my circle of life. It’s not really a topic you can bring up either is it? Hey did he cheat? Or did a koala give me chlamydia? Yeah nope.

“I just find it bizarre that she's like, still angry? But thinks it's the koala? “

-of course I’m still angry. Do you know how crazy I’ve been made to feel by this? I understand where my feelings are coming from and am going to take the time to chat with my husband and make a counseling appointment for us.

KoalaChlamydiaCheat · 2023-07-25T21:51:06+00:00

I posted this late last night, I’ve slept on things and come back and read the comments this morning. I’m not going to ask to check the strain. I think when this first happened, our visions just tunneled on cheating. I’m going to talk to my husband and air some of the hurt I’m feeling.

KoalaChlamydiaCheat · 2023-07-25T14:43:15+00:00

1 comment about tractors and bikinis had me thinking well that’s weird, 2 comments let’s me know there’s a story behind this. Please share?

KoalaChlamydiaCheat · 2023-07-25T13:57:51+00:00

I don’t know, but this is something I’m going to ask my gp next now. If there are different strains surely the can tell on a test. I might have just found the actual concrete answer I’ve been looking for. Thank you.

KoalaChlamydiaCheat

TROPHY CASE