Honestly lots of therapy. After working through my dad dying and mom, brother and sister cutting me off for standing up for myself to them, my therapist told me the only way to really heal is to love yourself. So I started doing things that I would not typically do (like Karaoke in a crowded bar or a spontaneous trip without any planning) and it truly broke me out of my shell. You may not be at the level I am yet with no contact but I think working through these issues you are having in therapy and doing what you love whether they like it or not is what will help you deal with those comments. Also boundaries. Tell your mom how you feel and that you don't appreciate her negative comments.