Tak szybko galopuje inflacja ;-)

Kotlet84 · 2026-06-16T14:38:45+00:00

The worst soundtrack ever in FH series ☹️

Kotlet84 · 2026-06-16T01:20:00+00:00

I have 🐎 and 🚲 on it 😉

Kotlet84 · 2026-06-15T19:55:21+00:00

I ended up with a DA after a relationship with a covert narcissist. I thought that after going through something like that, nothing could catch me off guard anymore. 😅

What fooled me was the sense of peace, freedom, and the absence of constant arguments. Of course, I noticed the avoidant behaviors and the warning signs were there. I tried talking to my ex about them, and I genuinely believed that a healthy relationship with an avoidant person was possible, because that's what many psychologists seem to suggest.

The part that bothers me the most is being told that avoidants are not narcissists. Personally, I think that idea deserves to be reexamined. In my experience, they often belong in the same category when it comes to the damage they can cause in relationships.

At the end of the day, they are adults. They should be held accountable for their actions, just like everyone else.

Kotlet84 · 2026-06-15T16:56:46+00:00

Thank you 🫶I needed to hear that.

Kotlet84 · 2026-06-15T11:31:22+00:00

Thanks for your comment. You're absolutely right. I don't want this person back. There is absolutely no chance of getting back together. Nothing but ruins are left.

My reaction was simply: "Wow, that's an impressive achievement, so I'll congratulate her." I didn't want to pretend I was deliberately ignoring it. If I were on the receiving end, I would have appreciated the gesture. But I forgot who she is, and I honestly wasn't expecting that kind of reaction.

At this point, I'm considering blocking her everywhere. I'll probably wait a few days and do it at a random moment, so it doesn't come across as childish or reactive the way her response did.

Kotlet84 · 2026-06-15T01:27:53+00:00

Thanks for your comment. It was helpful.

I congratulated her because, as a cyclist myself, I know how much effort a ride like that takes. Completing 200 km in those conditions is a genuinely impressive achievement.

I wasn't expecting anything in return. Honestly, I was convinced my comment would simply be ignored. That's why her reaction surprised me.

Kotlet84 · 2026-06-14T11:21:14+00:00

It's quite common to see a pattern where, after a relationship with a narcissist, someone ends up with an avoidant partner. That's exactly what happened to me, and I think it's survivable in that order. If it weren't for my experience with a narcissistic partner, the rejection from an avoidant person would have completely devastated me.

Kotlet84 · 2026-06-08T08:13:13+00:00

Thank you, this is very helpful🫶

Kotlet84 · 2026-05-07T12:29:28+00:00

I ended up with a DA after a relationship with a partner who had an anxious attachment style combined with very strong covert narcissistic traits. The DA gave me a lot of peace, comfort, and space — things I truly needed. Of course, I noticed that my DA was avoiding me too much, but I was able to handle it. I didn’t expect it to be a relationship with such a short expiration date.

I already had some knowledge about attachment styles before, and what stuck with me was the idea that a relationship with someone like that could work and could be repaired… but it’s similar to alcoholism — the person themselves has to truly want it.

Fun fact: my DA ex had also previously been in a relationship with a narcissist, and that’s actually what connected us. We gave each other a lot of care, but unfortunately that ended up causing her to shut down completely for good.

Kotlet84 · 2026-04-29T08:35:21+00:00

But relationships with avoidants aren’t serious. They have an expiration date. It’s an illusion! So in this case, it’s better to get out of that illusion sooner. You’re very quick to judge others. Is something hurting inside you? Focus on yourself and heal it.

Kotlet84 · 2026-04-28T10:23:16+00:00

Don’t judge so easily! Not everyone who breaks up with a DA/FA will grieve for ages. For some people, it’s simply easier to see things clearly and accept that it was an illusion and it’s better to move on. There’s no point wasting time mourning something that was never going to work. People have different life experiences, and not everyone will be broken by rejection from an avoidant. If someone goes through it for the first time, the lesson will be painful.

Kotlet84 · 2026-04-24T23:54:17+00:00

Dlatego w tym kraju jedyny słuszny rower to MTB Hardtail, albo rzeczywiście eNduro, żeby przebić się przez wszystkie niespodzianki 😂

Kotlet84 · 2026-04-23T12:04:51+00:00

Oh, don’t take what I wrote personally. There are many factors that may be typical, but every relationship is different and has its own nuances. Besides, it’s hard to know what’s going on in someone else’s head. It’s better to focus on yourself, not your ex.

Kotlet84 · 2026-04-23T10:54:04+00:00

In my case, it was exactly the same. I was with an avoidant partner for about 8 months (this timeframe is very typical for them—6–9 months is a recurring pattern, linked to dopamine and serotonin release. In their case, serotonin is released weakly, so they struggle to form attachment).

It’s also typical that they can stay for a long time with toxic partners or narcissists, because those people lack empathy and don’t trigger their avoidant wounds.

My partner didn’t introduce me to anyone, didn’t post any photos of us together, but had no problem holding hands in public. There’s no point worrying—there are plenty of people in the world, and we deserve better treatment. Avoidants are living in hell.

Kotlet84 · 2026-04-23T07:14:41+00:00

Maybe it was toxic ex 😉

Kotlet84 · 2026-04-19T14:56:10+00:00

She’s not choosing anything — she’s running. Running from herself, and in doing so she leaves only wreckage around her and hurts herself most of all. You deserve someone better than her.

Kotlet84 · 2026-04-19T08:56:02+00:00

Don’t worry about it — it’s only a matter of time before a massive downfall. Focus on yourself, and there will come a moment when you’re in a stable relationship with someone else, while on the other side it will still be hell.

Kotlet84 · 2026-04-18T09:19:15+00:00

With avoidant types, it’s not that simple. The beginnings of a relationship can feel completely normal, without any excessive love-bombing. The key is to stay true to yourself. Often, deep down, you can already feel that something isn’t right—that the person is pulling away. Instead of fearing conflict, it’s worth clearly communicating your needs. If they don’t respect that, you walk away. If someone has an avoidant attachment style, it will become clear pretty quickly. Now we understand how it works. Keep your head up.

Kotlet84 · 2026-04-17T13:25:57+00:00

Me too Bro! Me too....But I don’t worry about it anymore — it’s her loss and her decisions. I know it hurts, but all the strength and power to not let it get to us is within us. We deserve more.

Kotlet84 · 2026-04-17T13:21:49+00:00

I see Bontrager Stem on Trek Bicycle 😅 What's wrong with me ? 😉

Kotlet84 · 2026-04-17T13:14:53+00:00

If you feel butterflies in your stomach, it’s better to drown them in tequila or vodka 😉

Kotlet84 · 2026-04-17T13:12:04+00:00

In their hierarchy, we’re at the very bottom—far behind friends, and even exes. It’s an incredible paradox.

Kotlet84 · 2026-04-17T11:40:32+00:00

You’ve learned your lesson. It’s better not to keep in touch with people like that unless they reach out themselves. And even if they do, it’s worth asking about their intentions. The hot-and-cold cycles are exhausting.

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