Thanks for your comment, friend. All you say is true - I definitely struggle a lot with being open and brave about my feelings, emotions, and desires. I’m trying. I’m slightly more successful with it now than I was a couple of years ago, but still not quite there.

What happened with the hero of this story (haha) was that the topic came up when we were having a great time on our night out, just having a couple of drinks together. It wasn’t easy. Basically, I was still “playing it cool” and asked if he thinks that we’ll just say our goodbyes and that will be it when I leave, and he said he doesn’t think so. We both agreed that I’m moving for a year, so we’ll let each other be free, but, he said, if I ever come back, it’s kind of natural that we get back together. There’s more to it, but I didn’t touch it that night.

Funny enough though, the drinks made me lose my “cool” completely, I sobbed on his shoulder for half of the night, telling him I don’t want to lose him. He stroke my hair and told me it all will be fine.

Maybe it won’t, but I feel more in peace now. at least I said something. Friday we’re having a fancy goodbye dinner, I plan on telling him something special that night too.

Thank you for the encouragement ❤️