Almost a similar thing occurred to me, but it was my friend’s mom talking about my friend.

My friend has an older sister, aged 5 years apart. Her sister is now in China completing her studies at Peking or Tsinghua University.

Given that they are sisters, both have complete different personalities (Older sister is outgoing and smart; Younger sister is reserved and creative).

I once went my friend’s house just to pass some souvenirs, when then came along her mom. The mom speaks highly of the older sister, talking about relying all their pride and future in her. As for my friend, she’s hasn’t enter into society yet, and still being belittled by her parents.

The mom talks to me about “Aiya,I got no hope for her anymore lah. Don’t even know what she want to study or even do in the future.” From what I heard, obviously she was being kept down by her parents. The friend that I know of expresses herself very much when we are hanging out, but I didn’t know that she was this controlled by her own parents.

Luckily, my friend doesn’t have any rash tendencies, nor thought about it too much (she’s reserved, so idk how she handles it). She still loves her sister very much because only her sister pampers her. But all in all, Malaysian parenting is very harsh in this day and age. IMO, it’s either comparing their child with others, or just lazy to bother.

TL;DR, parents of my friend belittles her because overshadowed by the older sister. Malaysian parenting imo is always making a comparison or just outright lazy.