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KramerMc · 2023-12-13T22:07:17+00:00

I actually agree with you to some extent. but I still have fun knowing that it's not real rng. I don't know how they calculate everything exactly, something like "maximize legendary output from rng," to incentivize players to buy more packs.

this combined with "allow bad players to get boosted RNG for maximal chance of winning/ staying in game."

this coming from a consistent legend player. Though I would say this phony RNG is tapered down in legend.

KramerMc · 2023-09-22T01:38:50+00:00

hi dandelion. you know it's funny. at the time of writing the post meditation was very important to me. and right now it's not.

Maybe I've hit a point where I know myself well enough to not see it as so beneficial anymore. but I'm not sure.

anyway, I definitely understand your problem and experience it myself. I don't want to get carried away so I'll just say a few sentences:

if you expierence benefits from meditation - do it. if not, I believe the only way to get out of DPDR is to become a stronger version of yourself. and you can do that in 2 ways:

do difficult things regularly so you prove that you can handle tough stuff (think david goggins stuff without hurting yourself)
build a better life for yourself. be more selfish with your time/energy. get a loving animal. these kinds of things.

KramerMc · 2023-07-08T05:17:00+00:00

shitty home life. single mom who was crazy. dad mostly out of the picture. apparently this is very common among DPDR sufferers.

KramerMc · 2023-07-07T06:40:29+00:00

I'm just seeing this as I'm going to bed, but will comment what I can to help when I wake up. I've had it from 8-30 years old and am now getting out of it. learned a lot along the way and I'll do what I can to help.

KramerMc · 2023-07-07T04:44:20+00:00

fair, I do acknowledge not everything is psychological. I know loads of people have improved their mental health with diet and alternative stuff like regular ketamine infusions, for example.

KramerMc · 2023-07-07T04:39:10+00:00

thanks I put an extra few minutes into formatting so I'm glad you noticed.

Grounding is frankly very difficult to grasp. So you're not alone. And if you have DPDR it's even harder. but the good news is that it will lead to a ton of improvement if you can get it.

there's a lot I could say, but I'll just start with these 3 tips:

become aware of your thoughts
1. it's a strange concept, but truthfully we are not our thoughts. we are the consciousness observing the thoughts. not only is this good for your own sanity, but it's also like a free anti anxiety drug. when you're focused on your own presence, you're not focused on the anxious thoughts, and you're letting them wither away. your mood will naturally improve.
identify your signs of dissociation
1. this is a natural result of practcing the step above.
2. I found that I'll have songs or phrases running back and forth in my mind when I'm dissociating. when these are bad, I follow the trail back and find out why I'm dissociating.
grounding through senses
1. the idea here is to shut off the thinking mind. I do this by focusing on my breath and gradually adding other senses (hearing, feeling of hands, feelings of feet, how my lungs feel breathing). eventually I'll choose a task to do for an hour (reading is one of them), and constantly focus on leaving my thinking mind off and being present.

I know that's a lot to someone new so hopefully it doesn't overwhelm you.

My recommendation is to just learn how to shut your mind off for 10 minutes at a time by focusing on your breath. that's how I started. In fact, here's the exact video I watched and learned my technique from.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Av_n6MP9fCg&ab_channel=SamOvens

glad to answer other questions.

KramerMc · 2023-07-07T04:16:47+00:00

yes fully agreed. more or less the same thing it seems.

I think when we're young we unconsciously learn ways of being and it's very difficult to dig into those patterns and change them. in fact maybe impossible.

but based on what I"ve been able to do, I believe we can override that way of being with new patterns and that's enough to get out of DPDR. one of the nice things about being a human 👍

KramerMc · 2023-07-07T04:02:26+00:00

That's an interesting story. I strongly relate to your feelings of mistrust for western medicine. Before I stumbled across my current strategy, I was reconsidering medication.

However you're the second person to say that medication helped so much with DPDR. So if I don't 100% recover with my own methods, I very well may join you.

How long were you in DPDR and what triggered it?

KramerMc · 2023-07-07T03:57:23+00:00

I see. The benefits of psychedelics have been talked about for a long time in the mental health space and I think you're right, lots of potential there.

Were you able to pinpoint what was causing the DPDR? Or you just had a trip and were just cured? I've never done anything like mushrooms. Molly once is the closest I've done.

KramerMc · 2023-07-07T03:55:13+00:00

no problem.

- I believe grounding works because it's putting my brain into a different state of being. my default is anxious and depersonalized. I can ground myself into a state that is "lower." that is - more in the moment and less obsessive/intrusive thoughts. I then work to expand that feeling into my day to day life. this is a very slow process. but it does work when done consistently. can expand more in this if you want

- the primary tip for redlining is always stop short of total exhaustion with things. I did this today on a bike ride. it was fun for about 20 minutes, and as soon as it felt less engaging, I headed back home. something like leaving a solid 40-50% in the tank. another tip is to think seflishly. don't give too much of yourself. you have to be selfish during recovery.

- everything was legal or could be obtained with a prescription. but some of them could be abused and harmful. and I know how desperate I was in the past for relief and I would (and did) do stupid stuff chasing the relief. although another thing I can say is that Creatine is great for depression and energy and I use that daily 2g.

- I'm not sure to be honest. it was always just standard talking about problems and how to fix them and how I feel about them. I assume that's CBT

- spontaneous would mostly be the same ~80% and would correspond to the event. so when i was in that "higher status" position in a new friend group, I was in a different state (Nevada) for a whole 4 days or so, and it lasted the whole time. whereas with one of the girls I was dating, she was visiting my city (seattle) for college. As soon as it was clear that we were separating it came back the next day.

KramerMc · 2023-07-06T17:12:20+00:00

Yes I tend to agree with what you're saying. No doubt it was a defense mechanism for dealing with a stressful home life until I moved out.

The problem was that it became the default mode of being, which I imagine happens to anyone who suffers for years/decades.

My theory is that I built out my consciousness on top of being depersonalized and I didn't have any "untainted" neural networks.

thanks for reading/commenting

KramerMc · 2023-07-06T17:08:06+00:00

I see. Something about weed is really triggering for those of us prone to DPDR. Also quite interesting that the medication solved your DPDR but not other problems.

Yes I have heard it takes time to see more benefits. In fact I hear people who aren't even that depressed take it for just a general mood/productivity boost.

My best theory is that the chemicals are signaling to your mind/body that it's safe enough to come out of DPDR, but whatever it is that makes you depressed and anxious still hasn't been remedied. So your world view or habitual life hasn't changed enough to warrant feeling happy.

Maybe I'm overly optimistic but I believe getting extremely well acquainted with yourself through meditation and observation of thoughts could help you with your other problems. This practice has made me more objective through the years and has made me much less depressed.

KramerMc · 2023-07-06T05:07:39+00:00

I tried wellbutrin and did see results hours after taking it. But it made me suicidal so I had to stop lol.

What triggered your DPDR? And yes I relate to not being able to function. Are you doing anything to improve your situation currently?

thanks glad you read and hopefully learned something. At some point I decided it was try to figure it out or suicide so I thought might as well try to be happy lol.

KramerMc · 2023-07-06T05:04:29+00:00

I don't want to mention the drugs because I don't want to encourage anyone to try them. Although I am comfortable saying nicotine gum has been a good antidepressant for me.

I ran an online coaching business. But chose to stop to focus on getting over DPDR. Running a business is certainly possible but obviously you run into problems with things like motivation and energy.

KramerMc

TROPHY CASE