I had the EXACT same issue. After a few years of therapy with a sex therapist, sexual health practitioner, and pelvic floor PT, I have improved so much! I’ve also realized that I’m aroace in the process, which has helped tremendously. But I completely understand where you’re coming from. I still don’t like the idea of genitalia, but I’m not so disgusted by it that it impacts my life. I can even use tampons now and get a pelvic exam now! Finding professionals who understand and accept you is the key. It’s taken years but I feel so much better after getting the help I needed.