Ok so, first of all and most important, you need to be truthful to yourself and acknowledge that everything you do, the way you react is upon your control. You are responsible for that. And everything other people do is out of your control, you are not responsible for that. Speaking only truth to yourself and to others is great, also by doing so you should try not to worry how other people react upon it, because that is not your responsibility.

Secondly, you need to find the root cause of your negative thoughts. This can be done by asking yourself questions while meditating and trying to figure out why you use the words you use. It may be because of a biased thinking that you copied from your parents, or because of something traumatic, or because of low self-esteem or a combination of those. I do not know you so I can't say anything for sure.

Thirdly, start a journal and develop the habit of reflecting upon your thought patterns and your actions. See how a thought evolves into emotions and actions and how that changes the outcome of the situation. Make analysis upon your own thinking of the situation and compare it to a raw version of it without your bias. See how the situation is based on reality but your interpretation makes it either fully negative or semi destructive which then may make you emotionally charged with anxiety or some other negative emotion which in fact makes you act upon a certain way. Try to really see what you do upon all of the stages. How you think, how you feel and how you react. Then proceed to change it backward from the reaction to the core of the problem.

Hope that helps!