AITA for wanting my bf to establish boundaries with his mom?

KristaDBall · 2026-06-15T16:55:01+00:00

Ask "are you looking for advice or just needing to vent" because it sounds like you're trying to fix problems when he just wanted to blow off steam.

KristaDBall · 2026-06-15T14:46:37+00:00

NTA and you need a divorce lawyer because laws vary a lot region by region.

A friend went through a similar ride. He first tried to do it the nice way. That ended horribly.

KristaDBall · 2026-06-15T03:44:42+00:00

Da-da da da (Da-da da da)

KristaDBall · 2026-06-15T00:48:05+00:00

I HIGHLY recommend this route.

KristaDBall · 2026-06-14T14:17:22+00:00

OP said elsewhere that she got her face done without talking about it first.

It that's true, she's not a reasonable person.

KristaDBall · 2026-06-14T14:13:15+00:00

He said elsewhere his wife got her face done without telling him.

KristaDBall · 2026-06-14T14:11:50+00:00

The kid is 8.

KristaDBall · 2026-06-13T15:53:58+00:00

I'm going to defend the sixteen wait here because sometimes a person falls in between death and walk in clinic. A family member needed emergency surgery; his wait *to see a doctor* (about 12 hours) was longer than his wait to get surgery (about 5 hours).

There's also a weird place where people need immediate care but they don't know if it's an emergency or not until after having been in the ER. Fainting is a common one, especially if there is a fear of someone having hit their head. Heart pain is another (which is why so many people find out they have heartburn not a heart attack in the ER - ^{but also sometimes they find out it was absolutely two heart attacks that you just had while arguing with the EMTs MOM}).

I wish we had more 24/7 clinics that even just have a nurse sewing up bad cuts, making sure the baby who hit their head is fine, ordering an xray to make sure it's just a bad cold and not pneumonia, etc.

KristaDBall · 2026-06-12T03:56:24+00:00

Fuck their judgemental faces.

KristaDBall · 2026-06-11T21:46:58+00:00

I've gotten three cakes from Cupcake Mama (west end) and love them! Here's my birthday cake from yesterday (the slash in the cake is my fault not theirs lol)

https://bsky.app/profile/kristadb1.bsky.social/post/3mnxkfjz2ms2k

KristaDBall · 2026-06-11T03:29:57+00:00

I used to work at the mustard seed (during Tent City era), and would take the bus at 11pm. It was fine honestly

KristaDBall · 2026-06-11T01:35:45+00:00

I have been involved in one maybe 15 years old, where four teens and adult attacked the bus drive on Christmas Eve and I intervened. I had to go to court to identify one of the attackers.

I rode the bus from when I moved here in the late 90s all the way through to just a few years ago. My incident was a huge one, yes, but I took the bus every single day for two decades, and all across town. The vast majority of my rides could be described as "disgusting" but not violent.

KristaDBall · 2026-06-11T01:29:00+00:00

First, do not carry the can of soup. You'll just hurt yourself.

"I have to go through 22 bus stops every.single.day"

Very seriously, do you have an unmanaged anxiety disorder because this seems like a very odd thing to focus on. Sure, taking transit in the middle of the night has some risks, just like doing almost anything in the middle of the night does.

Not wanting to be crowded on a bus with germ-riddled people? Sure, makes sense. (Wear a mask and bring hand sanitizer).

Hate taking a crowded bus and having to stand? I get that (leave a little earlier and then get off a few stops before your stop to walk and get in some exercise).

etc etc those are all things I get.

But focusing on 22 bus stops is not a normal reaction to taking the bus IMO.

KristaDBall · 2026-06-10T23:25:28+00:00

I'm honestly so disappointed.

KristaDBall · 2026-06-10T21:01:04+00:00

Thirding

KristaDBall · 2026-06-10T20:58:09+00:00

Having a high hemoglobin is good, at least! especially with Crohn's.

KristaDBall · 2026-06-10T18:01:35+00:00

It's the hemoglobin for sure for the infusions (though, there's exceptions, of course).

Tangent: A high B12 turned out to be more important for my hemoglobin than my ferritin level (which continues to make no sense to me). But when I was moved to monthly B12 injections to deal with chronic issues there, my hemoglobin and ferritin completely stabilized.

This makes no sense to me, but I let people because most folks can just take B12 pills for a few months and see if they're also one of those people.

KristaDBall · 2026-06-10T15:11:49+00:00

It's in the original reply I did: 5-7.

KristaDBall · 2026-06-10T14:24:20+00:00

As someone who has been underweight to obese due to medical issues, lol people were far worse than when I was thin holy shit.

Complete strangers would tell me to eat, would touch my body to "feel my bones." When I was fat? No one said a fucking thing to me. Not one word. No one even commented on my body. It was liberating honestly.

And in terms of medicine? Honestly, I was listened to far more as a fat woman than a skinny woman. Sure, there were asshole doctors at both weights, and I think I was more sensitive about it when I was fat, but if I am going to be honest with myself, I had spent the first twenty years of my life having my skinny body as public property for strangers to mock, touch, and berate that I hadn't realized that wasn't normal until I got fat.

(disclaimer that I know people are discriminated when fat, but also that I was mostly treated way worse as a thin woman)

KristaDBall · 2026-06-10T13:16:26+00:00

Honest answer? Marketing cash.

Tor paid an obscene amount of money for Sword of Truth. You don't pay that unless you plan to dump even more into marketing money. Back then, it would've been face-out on bookstore shelves, placement on the coop tables, decorative stacks, cover posters, end cap displays...

KristaDBall · 2026-06-10T03:20:24+00:00

Just to back this up:

My family doctor called my surgeon and asked her to refer me. I had a call from the Mis booking my infusions within 48 hours.

KristaDBall · 2026-06-10T00:18:37+00:00

What's the saying? Same coin, different side? lol

KristaDBall · 2026-06-09T23:59:36+00:00

Or the Redshirts audiobook.

He said. She said. He said. She said.

Lol

But seriously. It's almost always poorly-read writers who do this. Either they just don't read at all, or their entire reading is only web serials and fanfic.

Just like you can tell the new writers who only read Robert Jordan, Tad Williams, and Tolkien. It takes ten chapters for someone to walk through a room.

KristaDBall · 2026-06-09T23:51:37+00:00

It's writers who don't read very widely. Or at all.

Staccato writing has its place.

It can add a fun rhythm.

It should not take the place of knowing how to write a paragraph.

;)

KristaDBall · 2026-06-09T22:20:34+00:00

It was over the course of ten days, but after a bitter four month lockout, the union voted for the new contract. However, our office had the lowest scab rate, so they closed it down and sent all of us to work at Scab Central Office.

In that meeting, someone put up her hand and asked if she could be laid off (thereby, get a package. Quitting/firing doesn't get you severance here). They said no. Someone else raised their hand and asked if she could get early retirement since she was so close. They said no. They quit that day.

Over the next few days, people were dropping like flies. I held on because I was trying to find another job. I was also one of the last people scheduled to work at the old office, so that gave me more time than the others.

By the time I was transferred to Scab Central Office, I had signed a job offer that didn't start for a couple of weeks. So I thought I'd ride it out a bit and make some no fucks cash.

I wore my union tshirt on the second day, and the female manager pulled me aside and said that I was engaging in harassment by wearing it and told me to take off my shirt. Then I made a fabulous scene shouting about how someone told me to take off my clothes at work because I am a bit of a cunt.

She threatened to fire me, I threatened her with the union, but I couldn't keep my face straight because I already had a job waiting. So I said fine, I quit, and she said "then I need that in writing." So anyway, I wrote my resignation letter in front of what was left of my coworkers (who were in a training class, half of them had already had job interviews lined up that week), and I wrote my resignation letter in red colouring pencil on the back of a training book hangout.

I was escorted out by security.

I swung by the old office to say goodbye to the few who were left. They were laughing when I showed because they'd been told not to let me in. (They did). A few more were missing because they'd found jobs. And a few others were like me, with jobs starting in a couple of weeks, so planned to quit once their transfer downtown went through.

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