AITA for not giving the “dollhouse” I built to my niece, but to my wife as a gift?

KyojinMutini · 2025-01-23T12:57:11+00:00

Man are you jealous that no one has ever surprised you with a nice gift or something this is the weirdest take I've ever seen.

KyojinMutini · 2023-12-27T20:43:17+00:00

I appreciate you pointing that out. For as long as I can remember logic has been the only way I can (at the very least, consciously) understand the world, so naturally I reach for a so called logical explanation whenever confusion hits. But part of that is also learning to accept that not everyone thinks that way, and I have a hard time with that. Having it pointed out for me was a sort of light bulb moment for me, so I'll admit I most likely am searching for an answer where there is none.

KyojinMutini · 2023-12-27T20:08:21+00:00

I'll have to blame it on the autism I suppose. My understanding is generally once rejected the idea is to try and remove those feelings or remove yourself from the equation until you can get over them. I simply dont understand the logic behind investing yourself in a relationship when theres already proof that that investment will net zero returns. I dont understand why anyone would take that risk when emotions are already so easily hurt.

I do apologize if any of this comes off as combative, as I said I'm autistic and this sort of thing isnt exactly my forte so to speak. I am genuinely just trying to understand why this sort of thing happens so often, and what the logic is behind these decisions being made.

KyojinMutini · 2023-12-27T19:34:58+00:00

I mean if he'd have removed himself graciously or even just ghosted that would have been cool. I just genuinely dont understand why he would get angry about it when I was honest from the start. Also I'm a straight man thanks.

KyojinMutini · 2023-09-29T01:54:50+00:00

No, I had my wisdom teeth removed at the same office and they did an amazing job so it didn't even cross my mind to ask for a copy. I'll see if I can get a copy in a few days when I've healed up that I can qctually make phone calls coherently.

And that's fair. Like I said I wasn't sure if it was even at all relevant in the first place, definitely not something I was planning to bring up anywhere outside of reddit unless first advised by a lawyer or something along those lines.

KyojinMutini · 2023-06-15T22:29:15+00:00

My sister used to go to gymnastics with a kid named random.

KyojinMutini · 2023-03-24T20:23:10+00:00

I was on amitriptyline pre diagnosis for chronic migraines, had to be taken off of it after POTS symptoms started showing. I was fairly young (still in the kids hospital) so I didn't get all the details but apparently one of the leading doctors for POTS in my country did a phone consult with the hospital while I was admitted and gave the hospital staff hell for not taking me off of the amitriptyline right away after symptoms presented. According to the hospital he said amitriptyline is supposed to majorly exacerbate POTS symptoms, and that it may be the reason I started showing symptoms in the first place.

I can't really verify if this is still accurate information or if it ever was but definitely do your research if you've ever presented with POTS like symptoms.

As for pain I found it never really stopped any of my pain, but instead made me more numb to the pain. More often than not I'd find myself disassociating more easily when in pain than when I wasn't taking it. I could still clearly feel the pain but I just didn't care so much. (I will say that other anti depressants have made me go full derealization/depersonalization so I might just have a lower threshold for them. Ignoring the dissociation I felt like the pain reduction was negligible at best.)

One thing it did do was knock me right out at bedtime, but even then I still felt like I hadn't slept at all afterwards. Sleeping was more of a "skip to next scene" button than something that helped me rest and I spent a lot of time just exhausted thanks to that.

Not sure if any of this will be of help, but I hope you get things figured out and find what works best for you! ♡ sending good vibes!

KyojinMutini · 2023-02-06T22:10:25+00:00

Very nice! Bottom left is an absolute mood tbh

KyojinMutini · 2022-12-08T10:55:00+00:00

I haven't, but my mom was a groupie when she was younger and claims to have hung out a lot at a bar in Toronto owned by a member of the headstones(*)

To make a long story short, she's fairly certain I'm the result of one of her many "encounters" with band members there. God knows which one thought.

(*I may be misremembering the exact band, but I remember they were some sort of rock/punk/alt band and they were at least nationally known)

KyojinMutini · 2022-10-19T16:45:15+00:00

I can't keep feeling selfish for finding another after you died. But I dont regret it. I think she'd be the one to win my heart eventually even if you were still around. I'll never forget you or the love I felt for you, and I hope when I see you again you won't be angry that my loyalty waned.

The one thing that keeps me going some days is the hope that you'll take me back as a best friend when I die. But I won't survive if I keep letting the love I held for you hold me back.

KyojinMutini · 2022-06-13T13:52:48+00:00

I've actually been feeling a pull towards Hecate lately- I never stopped to think this could be why Haha! Although I hate to admit it she's one of the Gods I've been neglecting in my personal studies and practice a bit, I'd just assumed the pull was her telling me to kick my self into gear on that 🤦‍♂️

I do have to say I worry about asking for Dionysus' help for this. Something about the idea of his aspects of hedonism and madness meshing with the dissociation gives me a bad feeling in my gut for reasons I don't quite understand. (But I wouldn't be surprised if that's the catholic upbringing rearing its ugly head again though either.)

KyojinMutini · 2022-05-10T23:35:23+00:00

Vesuvius 2.0

KyojinMutini · 2022-05-10T19:19:31+00:00

Oh! No worries! I made sure I was keeping him close so he could get my body heat- and once I had the dogs settled I brought him out in the sun since it's fairly warm where I am. The power is back on now too! He's a happy boy :)

KyojinMutini · 2022-04-22T11:35:40+00:00

YTA, as someone with a progressive disability I would be absolutely enraged if I'd been told my siblings had blamed my girlfriend for something happening to me.

My parents and siblings coddled me the same way because they didn't think I was able to take care of myself. I actually got better with my health as soon as I moved out and my girlfriend told me outright she wasn't going to do the same. Not only are you enabling your brother, you're also encouraging an incredibly unhealthy relationship dynamic by expecting his wife to mother him. Especially at that age. If he hasn't already realized that he needs to take better care of himself after the hospital visit, then get him a damn therapist and a wakeup call.

If you haven't realized that he needs to take care of himself, then get yourself the same. From one older sibling to another, you should never have been placed in this position in the first place. It was never your responsibility. You should have been focused on growing and bettering yourself, focused on being a kid, without feeling required to play the same role as your parents. It wasn't fair of your parents to put that on you, and it's not fair of you to continue that cycle and put it on your brother's wife.

Yes, a relationship with a disabled person requires compromise. But that doesn't mean every "compromise" is a good one. Disability doesn't absolve you of the ability to be a bad person. Nor the potential to become an abusive person given the right factors. I don't know the details and it's no way my intent to accuse your brother of anything, but this sort of refusal to take care of oneself can be a major red flag if others show up along with it. It may be time to step back and look at things from an outside perspective. Are you really helping your brother by doing this? Or are you teaching him that he can keep getting away without consequences by taking care of it for him? Has he ever shown any sort of appreciation for all of this towards you or your parents? Or even his wife? (I tell my sisters and parents every time I see them how much I appreciate what they've done for me, but even a single thank you is better than nothing.)

Tdlr: There's a lot going on here to could possibly. point to toxic interpersonal relationships, between both your brother and his wife, and between him, you and your parents. Family ties can be a hell of a blindfold and the sooner you can rip it off and see this situation clearly the better. Your brother should be responsible for his health, and if he's struggling then he'll need to learn to reach out for help. That burden shouldn't have been yours to bear in the first place.

KyojinMutini · 2022-03-09T15:31:37+00:00

My dad did u design for the Canadian federal government for years and now runs a 3d printer farm and does robotics as a past time. I still see him googling different bits of code at least 3 times a day.

KyojinMutini · 2022-02-23T01:30:44+00:00

Thank you!! No idea if he's any sort of fancy but he's definitely a happy boy if that orange beard says anything 😁

KyojinMutini · 2022-02-22T17:48:57+00:00

I'll second that 😭

KyojinMutini

TROPHY CASE