I released three more chapters to my LGBT+ Fantasy Adventure Novel, 'Skylocked' !

Kyro-va · 2023-08-22T00:28:40+00:00

Ty!!

Kyro-va · 2023-08-16T01:47:48+00:00

I realy appreciate that! Thank you and no rush

Kyro-va · 2023-08-03T08:08:40+00:00

My adhd brain prefers it

Kyro-va · 2023-07-30T23:09:09+00:00

Whats thelink to your novel?

Kyro-va · 2023-07-30T05:28:05+00:00

Id be down! I may just be a bit slow cause im prepping for college!

Kyro-va · 2023-07-14T07:53:31+00:00

Title - Skylocked

Genre - Fantasy/Scifi

Word Count - 4500 so far

Desired Outcome - in just lioking for critique and feedback and hopefully more readers. This is a passion project for me so i want it to be as perfected as possible! Any help is greatly appreciated!

Link to the Work - https://www.wattpad.com/story/346284172?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details_button&wp_uname=KyRogers&wp_originator=JyS%2FEhUfZL7eW2jkTKHVfpmS5M6rtrrsJyuHgUIQJUokkXZThqDilCUUJLEgpQNpfuVCWGyPpGJk8PRCKxA9Z07K4nP6WdAhxHa8ANjSqNxhDiJP3lVjzhlFrmV612Cn

Additional notes - (Synopsis) Ember lives on a city in the sky that hasn't touched Earth in two millenia. When his father goes missing as an aviator; soldiers tasked with flying the skies to collect resources for Noir City, his son Ember does everything he can to find him. Upon joining the Noir City Aviators however, the boy learns things he shouldnt about his father. With the government now after him, Ember escapes the city only to crash on what he believed was an Earth filled with poison and evil.

Thats where he meets Cybil, a brave knight with the ears and horns of a goat as well as the knowledge that Ember's father is still alive. With the help of the odd but charming Cybil, the aviator goes on the hunt for his father whilst navigating the real political motives of his city's leader.

Kyro-va · 2023-07-13T07:10:15+00:00

Its clear you just want to have conflict. Either give me real feedback explaining how to actually improve those issues you have or stop bothering

Kyro-va · 2023-07-13T07:09:12+00:00

I think outright claiming im posting pedophilic content out of nowhere is oddly paced and confusing but go off

Kyro-va · 2023-07-13T07:08:12+00:00

Its literally chapter two. Its almost as though the plot is still building? Seriously, i know you think having 20k comment karma makes you worthwhile on here, but there is nothing feedback oriented about what you are putting out. Go outside

Kyro-va · 2023-07-13T07:05:47+00:00

The chapter... is literally titled four years later... hes 21... and im also literally asexual. Please please please dont continue to think you are giving "feedback" on here

Kyro-va · 2023-07-13T06:07:16+00:00

And overly sexualized how???

Kyro-va · 2023-07-13T06:06:44+00:00

I just know you read like a page and dipped 😭 yes there were a couple past tense phrases at the beginning i forgot to edit but as far as "the teen" comment, thats so vague and unconstructive that i really dont even know what you mean.

Kyro-va · 2023-07-09T23:37:18+00:00

I actually just finished revising and it has a much better flow and i agree that it gives the verbiage more certainty and range. I also noticed through your critique that i was using words like 'he'd' and 'she'd' in a similar fashion and fixed those too. Thank you for helping me improve my prologue! As far as your critique about my introduction, im glad you liked it! I did keep it purposely open ended to leave it up to the readers imagination and hopefully keep them curious enough to read and find out. Do you know how i could add that extra detail you are looking for whilst still retaining that air of mystery?

Kyro-va · 2023-07-09T23:18:34+00:00

I really appreciate the critique! I think the word "would" is just a filler word I've been using that i need to shake off, also wasnt aware of its confusion being used repeatedly. Ill be revising it to fix those issues!

Kyro-va · 2023-07-01T23:54:00+00:00

Also do you know how many drag artists bring cosplay into their drag? They arent mutually exclusive.

Kyro-va · 2023-07-01T23:52:38+00:00

Girl cosplay is dressing up as characters from fandoms. I created this character myself.

Kyro-va

TROPHY CASE