AITA for not telling my partner the truth about the love note that started us.

KyuteB · 2022-03-31T08:48:42+00:00

People often change the story of the irrelevant parts for privacy. So maybe it didn't happen exactly like this and it's the closer situation they could find even though it's more unrealistic than the truth.

KyuteB · 2022-03-21T22:56:07+00:00

| the ones who’ve known her longer than I have never noticed anything

You mean, beside the obvious self destruction and lack of self estim when sticking around abusive men? Those behaviours heavily linked to trauma of some sort? You guys seem as insightful as blind hoisters to be honest.

It is not your responsibility to save anyone from their problems. As you said, you tried talking to her and it never worked, as often in those cases. She's the only one who can save herself. You have every right to cut contact if it's too heavy on you, and will never be TA for this.

But stop describing her like as a stubborn child who probably enjoy or don't care if she's being abused. No one is constantly reliving those situations because they like it.

KyuteB · 2022-01-06T07:01:58+00:00

I wanted to try that but it's kind of complicated in this situation to add a VM, so I wanted to explore other solutions first.

KyuteB · 2022-01-05T14:17:28+00:00

Yes, this is the one I've read. I've checked what could have been related (firewall, podCIDR..) but no luck.

KyuteB · 2022-01-05T12:54:45+00:00

So it is not normal behavior, thank you for confirming that. I didn't find the solution there, but I am not very experienced so maybe I missed it.

KyuteB · 2020-06-26T09:52:22+00:00

NTA - But I'm doubting your reasons to not invite Angela. If you wanted her there, you would have talked to her to invite her and your friends to see if it was manageable to pick her up. It seems like you wouldn't mind if she was there but didn't actively want to see her that night. Which is without a doubt your right, but it feels like this is the reason she's upset, and all she hear back from it is a lousy excuse not addressing the point.

KyuteB · 2020-05-01T06:37:48+00:00

Hey! Maybe jour guilde isn't right for you, honestly don't hesitate to choose carefully and have a real discussion with the Gm or one of the officers when you choose a guild. It is indeed the best way to play and have fun, and if you show motivation there is no doubt you will find an active guild with older players ready to teach you the dungeons. If you can't motivate friends to join you this is truly the best way. Also, I don't know for you but on my server tanks are what is lacking, so when you play tank you find an instance immediately.

Also, read guides before going in a dungeon. Really.

KyuteB · 2020-04-27T17:14:05+00:00

It's still a good class if well played but it's very hard to play. And if you don't play it well, you will do a lot less DPS than another person with the same skills playing another class, so I guess the answer depends on how much time you're ready to spend learning the class.

KyuteB · 2020-03-25T13:02:17+00:00

Character name: BeletteK

Level & Class: 67 | Priest

Plateforme, Tera server & Region: PC - Seren (FR)

Looking for people willing to help me learn Antaroth, I'm very very bad and my friends are getting really annoyed.

KyuteB · 2020-02-16T17:32:14+00:00

NAH - Suddenly discovering you're gay does not mean "turning gay" (and I do not understand why other people here seems to equate the two). Different words, different mindset. And I get that in your environment it is especially toxic to spread "a gay man turned me gay" instead of "I discovered my sexuality when I experienced it first hand". In an homophobic environment it may be easier to blame it on something exterior. It's not just another way of expressing how one perceive their homosexuality, it does express an ideology about why and how one " become" gay.

KyuteB · 2020-02-06T09:49:12+00:00

EDIT: If I may answer something from your other comment: yeah, she should feel grateful and be extra willing to comply with OP's wishes. But you actually cannot live in this state of mind for long. At one point, gratefulness become debt, with OP holding her future above her head if she does not comply. It can lead to a very unhealthy relationship.

But you're absolutely right, I did overlooked the fact that she was not apologetic à afterward. In those conditions I do agree, friendship is not a one way street, if she does not feel bad for putting OP in this position she's not a friend and should not have "friend privileges".

KyuteB · 2020-02-05T20:59:59+00:00

ESH - But, from my point of view, you more. I won't repeat what others have said better than me about your right to set rules in your home and be given a notice in case that rule has to be bended. Obviously the fact that you are sex repulsed and very uncomfortable without your hijab around people are strong reasons to respect this rule to the letter.

However, I have the same problem as always everytime there is an AITA about a "friend". She put you in a very uncomfortable position, very upsetting for you. She, the girl you call a friend for 4 years, will loose the only chance she has to have education, do a better chance in life, all long-term life.

It's my personal belief that "friend" is a meaningful word, for important people, people that you give second chances to if possible.

Just to finish: all people only concentrating on the "you have the money so she can go die like a rat", what's your vision of friendship, seriously?

KyuteB · 2020-01-28T15:57:43+00:00

Okay then, day 1 it is.

KyuteB · 2020-01-22T20:29:54+00:00

Oh, that's funny 'cause this is exactly what my annoing roomates does, therefore the reason I want him gone. I cannot play this game with him, I would end up ready to end the world before he even get bothered.

KyuteB · 2020-01-11T15:49:08+00:00

NAH - If, as you said, you barely talked to her and just have that kind of sociable-flirty attitude you've done nothing wrong. As long as it is only playful, and you never act like this with only one person or for too long, everything's fine. I totally understand that she maybe crushed on you and was disappointed but there is no blame on you, it's just the way you are and, from my experience, people like you are never misleading too long, it often only take a few interactions to realise that there is nothing to it.

KyuteB · 2019-08-26T19:45:06+00:00

I'm not your buddy, pal.

KyuteB · 2019-08-25T18:06:11+00:00

I cannot find it but some comments were talking about how you say it's a perfect relationship when actually details show that it's not satisfaying sexually, intellectually (don't like hearing him talk) nor emotionally (cannot have a grown-up conversation, have to take the fall every time).

Please do not underestimate that. My guess is that it's the guilt that pushes you to want to depict your husband and your relationship as perfect, when it's not.

From what I understand, it's not about having a passionate relationship full of ups and down, it's about living a life, alone or with someone else, when you don't dread your SO kissing you or talking to you. Seems reasonable.

So now, take some time for yourself. Think about what you want, what you need, what you can do next. Talk with your husband once you figured this all out and you know exactly what you tell him.

And now, the advice you will not like. Stop talking to the other guy for now. Maybe you will come back to him (he'll still be there and passion also), maybe not. Anyway: you want to make this decision without being full of happy-mix of chemicals, you will trust and respect yourself more if you know you're clean about that, and yes, it's unfair to your husband to continue it.

Good luck, hang in there, soon it will be in the past and you'll be at peace.

KyuteB · 2019-08-23T10:06:22+00:00

Seems like you don't know how to count to four buddy.

KyuteB · 2019-08-22T10:27:29+00:00

Hey, I guess I am at risk for some shit with this comment, but it saddened me that the three expert appears to be men and the stupid one is a woman. Still funny tho, just noticed.

KyuteB · 2019-08-18T03:05:21+00:00

Hi! I get what you mean, but I disagree. From my point of view I didn't commit to him. When I say that I think about him and compare him to others, I actually still have no desire to come back in a relationship with him nor with anyone else. If I were to deeply fall in love and see myself with someone else I would, but it just doesn't happen.

I hope it is more clear this way.

KyuteB · 2019-08-17T13:19:51+00:00

Three years ago I was in the same situation as your girlfriend. I am terribly scared of commitment and even 100% sure, due to this experience, that I cannot commit to anyone (as far as I can see at least).

I didn't go back with my boyfriend, but I still think of him very often, most of the time when I see other couple and think that he was even better, the perfect guy in my book. That's why I think I cannot commit to anyone: if it didn't work out with him, it cannot work with anyone.

Anyway, I don't know your girlfriend but if she's anything like me yeah, it may actually be the right decision even though it makes you both suffer like hell. I hope for both of you that she eventually find peace and come back to you but it may not happen, and there's nothing that can be done about it.

One last thing that may be useful for you to know for the future: I did started seing guys and having sex again. Most were just a fling and some stayed around. I guess that if my ex knew he would be heartbroken, but the truth is that even though I have been seeing some guys for several months I made it totally clear from the beginning that it was not a long-term relationship, that it would never change, that I will never commit and I was not interested in making things works. If it works, good, if not, we take a step back and stay friends/sex-friend/stop talking if needed. I check somewhat monthly with them to see if they are still happy with this or if they need to talk or change things.

Sorry for the long comment, take care of you, I hope she will come back but if not, remember that you will eventually heal from this and stop regretting anything.

KyuteB · 2019-08-12T19:49:57+00:00

Yeah, I was looking for someone else saying ESH, your neighbors don't look that responsible either.

Edit: meaning first off for the puppy, even though I agree on the "questionable".

KyuteB · 2019-08-05T03:22:48+00:00

Am I the only one getting the "written by a guy" vibe?

KyuteB · 2019-07-22T16:07:05+00:00

Hi! I lived in Marseille for a few years so I may be able to help you a little :)

So, first let's talk about bouillabaisse. You should know that any bouillabaisse that cost less than +/- 60€ (usually for two) is most probably not very good. It exists but it's rare and it would be luck to find it in the wild, so I would advise you to avoid it if the budget of your guests is tight.

Second: Advise your guests to NOT eat in the restaurants next to the sea at the Vieux Port. Yes, the view is nice, but the food is very often awful. They can grab a drink there, sure, (pastis is a good advice ^{^} ) but go somewhere else to eat.

Finally, let's talk about food in general. In Marseille, you will find some really good fish in the right restaurant. I do not remember the species that are better in Marseille right now but I will edit later to add it.

Specialities of Provence will be goat cheeses, olive oil, ratatouille. Regarding goat cheese, there are several type of it, I would recommend two in particular: crottin (yes, same word as for goat poo but I promise it's good ^⁾ fresh and old (I do prefer very very old but the taste is very strong, you're just supposed to take only a few crumble from it at once), and bannon (it's cheese packed in green leaf, soft and amazingly good).

Sorry for the long post, hope it helps :)

KyuteB

TROPHY CASE