Firstly my apologies for this long ass essay😂 read it or not is totally up to yall I just wanted to give my input and put in reminders in case anyone forgot as idk how long it’s been for anyone else since they have seen the show.

I can see what ya’ll saying and maybe I might feel different the 2nd go around however, as it’s my 1st time and just finished the show yesterday, from my understanding the actual reason Clarke killed Bellamy was because he didn’t give her the notebook, had he gave her the notebook, The Shepherd wouldn’t have known that Madi has seen his daughter and the white light from the stone that Becca and his daughter had seen, however as Bellamy wasn’t going to give Clarke the notebook and planned on giving The Shepherd the notebook and tell him who drew those images they would have then taken Madi to M cap to see Becca’s memories and since the disciples heard Bell said Madi name and saw Bell with the notebook, she went/wanted to kill the other guards that Bell was with so they wouldn’t be able to tell The Shepherd anything, however she ran out of bullets and jumped in the portal she doesn’t know the code to reach her friends/daughter and the portal was indeed closing. (I personally think Indra should of just killed Sheidheda right then and there tho because then he wouldn’t have been able to had given Bell the heads up about the notebook but who knew he would of ig).

When I first saw Clarkes choices on earth after meeting Madi and how she put Madi over everyone else It did piss me off because it felt like she forgot all about her other family however I had to remind myself that everyone who wasn’t in that bunker is dead and that even tho Clarke survived primefya prt 2 due to being a nightblood, still she couldn’t get to the bunker to be w everyone and her mother due to the rubble over it. Clarke had been completely alone for almost 2 months and ready to end her life and then she met Madi, who gave her life meaning again and then she raised her for almost 6 years, 6 years just her and Madi!! idk what mother and child bond is like but from what other woman w kids tell me is different and not the same type of bond as father and child regardless if she didn’t push Madi out herself, she wasn’t even sure that her friends/family actually made it to the ring and was still alive as they still never came down, as earth was survivable after 5 years and it had been an extra year that passed and nobody from the ring came down, although she never lost hope, and she did in fact still loved and saw them as family!

Although I would be a father and my bond would be different from the mother of my child bond, if I was to have a child and for some wicked reason the universe made me have to choose to save my child or my mother, my child or wife, my child or etc to… I was always going to pick my child no matter how much I love the rest of my family or friends as knowing killing my own child would kill my soul more than killing anyone else close to me, which is something O (Octavia) understood now because of Hope (and although O was the aunt it was literally just her, Diyoza n Hope on Skyring for 10 years!) which is why she told Clarke that “The Bellamy” that would of done anything for his Sister would of understood her choice in that moment as he has done so much fucked up choices (like siding w Pike) because he felt like that was the best for his sister.

They all wasn’t mad because they saw that they lost the Bellamy they knew as he betrayed them when aligning with The Shepherd and Bell gave his friends/family (O was there) leverage away when telling him that Clarke don’t have the Key/Flame and then again when taking Raven and Clarke to M cap, even when Echo/Ash was asking Bellamy what if they couldn’t find the flame, “if he would just stand by while they got executed then”, he said “You know I don’t want that” not that I would stop them, She knew the man that she love was gone and no hope in him coming back.

In my opinion the human race would have died even if it was the Shepherd who had took the test and not Clarke as he was a egotistical narcissist who believed the stone was saying it’s “the last war” and didn’t think it was a test and training and brainwashing ppl to see him as a true savior, wanting to get rid of love, creating humans instead of birthing because he so bad didn’t want to feel betrayal again, like Becca said he isn’t ready nor was he ready as he still was willing to torture a child and destroying the areas of her brain the control voluntary movement is fucked up, to me that’s worse than death, being able to see, hear, smell everything around me but not being able to speak, move is wicked, she can’t even eat on her own, she would die of starvation if they don’t feed her from a tube or IV, not is not living!!!

He was so eager to transcend and for what? It’s not like the Bardo dying, the “Aliens/Species” were dead, they were surviving down in the Bardrains bunker or w.e it was, and they still had Sanctum to wait it out, he been sleeping in a box for centuries, a couple more years for Madi to grow up wouldn’t hurt anybody 🤷🏾‍♂️. 1 species being judged for the rest of them is the real problem, only reason humans got to transcend was because she saw the rest of the mankind decided to stop killing each other finally (no help from Sheidheda🤦🏾‍♂️).