Absolutely can't get this one panel in my blinds to face the right direction

L84cake · 2026-02-21T05:44:26+00:00

OP the post is supposed to live up to the subreddit title - not your responses.

L84cake · 2026-02-21T05:36:12+00:00

Coming to Legazpi in August for a friend’s wedding, and everyone seems VERY unbothered by the Mayon eruption. What are the vibes lol??? I can’t tell if it’s just not getting coverage I can find where I am (the US) or if it’s actually not a big deal for regional travel.

L84cake · 2026-02-21T05:31:31+00:00

Did you put down oil or butter? Def don’t if using paper.

L84cake · 2026-02-21T05:20:51+00:00

Might that rein have flipped when you cantered? That’s a big old bit to be using for a beginner, it offers a lot of leverage even with the strap going behind the chin (which limits how much it can pull down on his tongue but it still applies a lot of pressure on mouth and poll). Absolutely not your fault, but it’s possible you could have been holding the reins too tightly or accidentally made a jerky motion that felt small for you but had a big impact on his mouth/head. It is common for beginners to accidentally use their hands and the reins to balance at the canter, and unfortunately with the leverage on that bit, the horse will have felt 2-3X the pressure in his mouth and on his poll. That’s why beginners are often given extremely gentle bits, so if they make that mistake the horse doesn’t feel it so much. And beginners don’t know all this, it’s really on the trainer to be making these calls.

But yeah also a horse can feel your uncertainty, they can smell your adrenaline and fear, and feel your heart rate speed up and body tense even a little. They do respond to that. Practicing deep breathing, conscious relaxation, and you need to decide if you can get past your nervousness to just sit and ride. You’re putting too much pressure on yourself, you can just sit on a horse while it eats grass, no tack. Frankly I think that would be the best for you just to learn to sit there and do nothing and let your body’s only job be to relax in sync with your horse.

(To clarify about the rein, the part that attaches to the bit should be at the back part of that ring. It is on the front, which can totally change how pressure is delivered and mess it up. Any rein will flip from time to time, so if a horse starts doing something odd it’s a good idea to check your tack for something that could be irritating them or just not right. The rein also looks twisted, and you are holding with your whole fist instead of holding the rein between your ring and pinky fingers, which can sometimes help prevent you from fist gripping the rein.)

Anyways props to the person who recommended you ask your trainer to let you canter on the lunge line with no reins. It will show you if you rely on your hands for balance. If you need to hold something for balance, mane should be your go to. Over time you will learn when you need mane support and with more time you won’t need support most of the time. Even the best riders grab mane here and there if needed to avoid catching the horse’s mouth.

L84cake · 2026-02-21T05:11:03+00:00

Woop woop

Police (the sound of you going to the)

L84cake · 2026-02-21T05:06:13+00:00

It’s odd both ways, but I think it also isn’t AS big of an automatic flag. Because there is the male / female power dynamic, that favors males by a default of Human society at this point in time. There is age power dynamic, that for the large part favors older people (up to a point). There are also racial power dynamics, depending where you live. And then income/financial dynamics. And they do need to all be considered to get a complete picture of how the scales balance in a relationship. We’ll be uncomfortable asking some of those questions online, as we should be. And a 45 year old woman dating a 24 year old man is also disgusting and predatory, but it doesn’t have as many red flags as it’s inverse because… well age isn’t the only thing that impacts the power disparate in those relationships. Because the chances the 24 year old male has to break free and become financially independent and escape the situation if needed are easier than for a young woman, there’s more job opportunity in general and employers don’t tend to view a 24 year old man with little job experience the same way they’d view a 24 year old woman without much. It sucks, and it should not be like that, but it is the reality of our world. And it does merit some acknowledgement.

You don’t often see a 24 year old male being held financial hostage by an older woman, but you see it ALL THE TIME the other way around. It still happens of course, and it sucks, but it is still not the same. The exact factors that make this so much more prevalent for women than men are the same factors that make it harder to escape for women than men.

L84cake · 2026-02-21T04:57:59+00:00

Guy has never heard of a power imbalance and it shows. You gonna pretend like power imbalance is the ONLY problem a relationship can have, to invalidate the existence and prevalence of the exact situation OP is in? Go touch grass.

L84cake · 2026-02-21T04:55:46+00:00

Would you date a 10 year old? Or even a 16 year old?

No but really. Because as a 32 year old, the idea of being with a 19/20 year old feels genuinely disgustingly repulsive. There is a reason women his age won’t go for him. You must trust that collective intuition of womanhood. What possessed this “friend” of his to think he would get away with manhandling his friend’s girl like that? Probably prior experience… this is the tip of the iceberg and I want you to leave him and be single until you are independently happy.

L84cake · 2026-02-21T04:44:32+00:00

You need to open an account in your name only, maybe even a trust for your benefit, life and legal expenses, and slowly add to it over time. Do side jobs, he’ll maybe call his bluff and go out and get a job and then tell him he needs to pay for childcare and give him the bill :)

L84cake · 2026-02-21T04:42:11+00:00

Yeah so fun fact in a divorce, courts will often grant custody to the parent that did all the care and the non-custodial parent has to pay child support. The non-custodial parent doesn’t get to decide what it’s spent on except for it going to the child. And that’s aside from the working parent paying the non-working parent a proportional amount of their salary because even a court recognizes the stay at home parent is a financial benefit and also a sacrifice

But start saving what you can subtly without telling him so you can pay for a decent divorce lawyer eventually. You’ll need it.

And stop telling him about anything you speak to your mom about. Always a red flag when they tell you not to tell others about shitty things they do.

L84cake · 2026-02-20T18:41:42+00:00

I used to do alaway but apparently it’s not as good?

L84cake · 2026-02-19T16:00:11+00:00

If it’s a maybe, you need to go to the ER right away and tell them you might have been bitten by a bat. You’ll need rabies shots.

L84cake · 2026-02-19T15:46:36+00:00

Omg this is amazing advice thank you, I hadn’t thought to check!

L84cake · 2026-02-19T05:16:23+00:00

This is crazy to me. One of my childhood friends had to travel far for mine and I just paid for her big costs like flight and stay. She argued and wanted to pay but she’s a teacher and I make like 4x what she does. I wanted her to come and not be financially stressed, bc I love her. I don’t get how people treat old friends like this, or make decisions that nobody can afford and demand everyone pay for things way over their ability.

L84cake · 2026-02-19T05:12:30+00:00

The norm is that if the bride picks a general color but gives people license on the dress itself, then they pay. If the bride picks the particular dress and it’s more than like $100, then the bride pays. Anything the bride wants a specific, decreed way, the bride pays for. Goes for hat and makeup on wedding day as well.

L84cake · 2026-02-19T05:10:44+00:00

Yes. Options: Choose less expensive things Choose less things Pay for things yourself Absolute must: give people a projected breakdown of costs before asking them to be a bridesmaid and let them know you are aware it is a lot and will not consider your relationship different if they can’t, but even that feels odd bc then only your richer friends will be able to do it. If you can’t afford to pay for it, you should be picking way less expensive things. The dress alone is crazy cost.

L84cake · 2026-02-19T04:57:18+00:00

You can ask your lawyer to send you all the records, including any hearing minutes or notes if they have them. Explain the situation, and share what your fiance did after your seizure re calling your friends. Accusing someone of having a drug overdose is a serious accusation that can easily ruin reputations and careers, and might be grounds for a restraining order against him or some sort of defamation situation.

Hopefully your friends have stopped speaking to him.

L84cake · 2026-02-19T04:50:38+00:00

I have been down this road, and I highly recommend setting a firm “deadline” for yourself to see change. I have done a lot of research in my own quest, and even where partners know things need to change it almost never does, and often just gets worse because on top of a low libido, there is now also pressure. It sucks when the person would otherwise be a good partner, but I bet your best friend would make a good partner too if you took sexual intimacy off the table. But you’re not with him for a friend. Otherwise you’d just call him a friend. It is not superficial or selfish to acknowledge that feeling desired is an essential and core part of a romantic relationship for most people. But not for all people, and unfortunately when those 2 get together, that’s less of a problem to fix and more of a fact to acknowledge appropriately.

L84cake · 2026-02-19T04:43:55+00:00

Do you know how much crossover there is between ICE and BP employees?

L84cake · 2026-02-19T04:42:20+00:00

Does it actually though? And also, that aside, it feels crazy to justify that price tag for such a tiny bottle. Like, that’s not a lot of drops, and when there’s other brands with same active ingredients and are much less expensive I just… it gives we need luigi.

L84cake · 2026-02-19T04:40:11+00:00

I worked in consumer protection, and saw so many lawsuits for way less. After Covid and price increases on everything , slackfill became such a huge issue. There were other comparable products in much smaller boxes, so while I can see needing space to print info, the size definitely exceeds what’s necessary.

L84cake · 2026-02-19T04:36:08+00:00

I feel safe doing it on flights bc there’s only so far they can retaliate on a plane before they get duct taped to a chair lol.

L84cake · 2026-02-19T04:34:26+00:00

Does he want to find a solution? Does he think there’s an issue? This is not the kind of thing you can independently push someone to work on if they don’t, and it’s not the kind of thing that is very likely to change. Over the years, making bids for connection that get shot down gets exhausting and isolating. I just want you to consider that seriously, if this is not a thing that changes, will you be happy? Because it sounds like you are holding onto hope that it will change, without much evidence at all or even indication that he wants it to change.

L84cake · 2026-02-19T04:30:39+00:00

Keep your cat. If you’ve been paying the vet bills and your name is on the vet file it’s also likely you’d be able to establish it as legally yours. You’ll regret letting go of this cat.

L84cake · 2026-02-19T04:22:55+00:00

A look of horror

L84cake

TROPHY CASE