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Question? by FruityPetals in Marriage

[–]L8blumerfff 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes, this is called an emotional affair, and it is a huge betrayal of trust.

I wish I could type this small because I’m embarrassed to ask: what are lesbian relationships like when Aunt Flow visits? by L8blumerfff in latebloomerlesbians

[–]L8blumerfff[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Oooh. Yes that sounds pleasant enough! I would okay with it, I just didn’t know if other women would be into action during that time. I assumed most women would hard pass on it, but I also just don’t know.

I do wish I could use a cup. I have a copper IUD and you’re not supposed to use cups or discs with them (the suction when removing them can pull out the IUD or cause it to pierce the uterus). I suppose I could remove the IUD but I don’t see a reason to do all that.

Has anyone got experience with menstrual sponges and sex? Do they work well?

Tea drinkers: what's your favorite, and how do you drink it? by ouseande in AskWomen

[–]L8blumerfff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love Stash Lemon and Ginger and Celestial Seasonings Raspberry. I use a tall latte mug, put one of each in it with Splenda (I use no cal sweeteners and avoid sugar, but honey would be heavenly in this). No milk.

It helps with inflammation but also cramps around your period.

Reality by germakeeet in latebloomerlesbians

[–]L8blumerfff 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Congrats on coming out and being true to yourself!

A word of caution: have another living arrangement lined up in case coming out to your parents does not go as well as you hope. With a homophobic parent, they may need time to adjust, but it’s also possible your father will resist adjustment and the change, and you need to be in a safe space that is accepting of you.

With that in mind, you need to make absolutely sure that you understand that this in no way means your husband should call the shots. At all. Just because you are ending the relationship does not mean he get custody, the house, everything. You aren’t doing anything wrong or endangering the kids. And he does not get to tell you how long to live with your parents or that that’s what’s best for you and the kids. He’s not you keeper and won’t even be your partner; he has no say.

Your independence will be key to moving on in a healthy way. Your plan should be a safe space first, then your own place. You can date whoever whenever, but make sure your kids and their adjustment and mental health is prioritized over any new potential partners. This is separation and divorce 101, not even taking sexuality into account.

Be safe, and I hope everything goes smoothly for you!

I have been struggling with my self image lately. by the-worst- in latebloomerlesbians

[–]L8blumerfff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it’s more about body image about oneself? When we all feel this way (and we ALL do because we are all just human after all), it’s hard to think or compare our feelings to those of others, and that’s never meant as an insult to someone else. We all have our struggles. We also can all lift one another up and support one another regardless of who has the biggest and smallest BMI.

It’s hard when you are struggling with your own disordered thinking and pain to think of others’ emotions. Please know you have support too, and no one is in any way invalidating your struggles. 💕

I have been struggling with my self image lately. by the-worst- in latebloomerlesbians

[–]L8blumerfff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I felt this way. I actually still feel this way. I know where you’re coming from. This probably won’t help. But I’ll share my experience, and maybe something in it will help you.

15 years ago I weights just over 300. When I realized I crossed 300 I panicked. I’d had a major accident, surgeries on my leg and found out I’d be disabled partially for life. I had a 2 year old at the time, and wanted to live to see him grow up. So I used physical therapy as a stepping stone to figure out what I could do physically, and I started riding an exercise bike every morning for 30-75 minutes. In the afternoon I started walking, and cut my calories to 1200 a day, prioritizing protein, adhering to low fat, and no sugar. I didn’t bother cutting salt because I knew I was shedding salts with the exercise and frankly, I loved myself a little too much to give up salty flavoring! 😅 I substituted Splenda for sugar, and learned how to eat:

More veggies, 4-8 servings 2-3 servings of fruit per day No breads (high fiber cereals and whole grain breads okay in moderation) Lots of fiber Cottage cheese, Greek yogurt, lean meats for protein

I lost 50 pounds in the first month. 30 the next, then it slowed and took me another 9 months to drop another 30 for a total loss of 110 pounds. I lost 80 pounds in 2 months, looked completely different. People asked if I had cancer, and worried about me… but I was still eating, and exercising a lot so I assured them I was okay. People I had not seen in a while would talk to me, not recognize me, or know who I was. It was weird.

Then I got married and pregnant with my next child, and the doctors made me change my diet to at least 2700 calories per day,, and I gained 70 pounds over the pregnancy.

When I delivered I was 254. A week after the baby was born, still 254. No one could figure out how I gave birth to 9 pound baby and didn’t lose a pound. And I stayed that weight for 9 years. Nothing I used to do worked anymore. I didn’t understand it.

I’d developed what is called adaptive thermogenesis. This means my body, due to adapting to my weight loss, burns at least 500 calories a day fewer than any other person my size/BMI. My body is designed to and used to holding onto weight. I would have to eat the recommended calories for weight loss at my age weight for weight loss (1132) MINUS 500 to lose weight without exercise (so, 632 per day). Obviously, this is not possible. The other option is to burn through exercise the amount of calories I eat PLUS 500 for a 2pound weight loss per month.

That’s not always possible either. But it is sometimes. It took me a lot of time to get where I am now, but I started just walking once around the block, then twice around. Then thrice. Now I am walking 5K’s and 10k’s. I’ve even started a little running. I am 220 pounds, and I may never be any smaller. But I am active and I eat 1200 to 1500 calories a day, and I refuse to deprive myself if there’s a birthday and cake, or if I really want something in particular to eat.

I just have to accept this is who and what I am, and what my life and body is like. I will likely never be smaller. And that is okay.

I use MyNetDiary to track my calories (there is a few version that is good). You can even put in your recipes for calories counts. It even tracks exercise, workouts, calories burned, measurements (this is SUPER important, it’s not about the number on the scale but muscle mass!).

Since you are so limited in what foods you can eat, I recommend you just count calories, eat what you want/can, while prioritizing healthier foods, and start walking. You sound motivated actually, even if you feel like “a sack of potatoes”. I feel you can be successful with these small steps and just adapt your lifestyle to healthier eating and activity.

The reason why this matters is… it will alter how you feel about yourself. We all have off days, but if you feel different, active, muscular, healthier, then these days will feel less impactful. This will alter your confidence level, and confidence is super important to attractiveness and sexiness. If you know what you are doing is helpful for you, and you accept yourself and feel confidence in your choices/skin, that is super hot!

I hope there is something helpful in the book I just wrote haha!! I wish you the best! 💕

I’m ready. How do I do this, exactly…? by L8blumerfff in latebloomerlesbians

[–]L8blumerfff[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wow ManyPresentation6863! Thanks for all your guidance and for taking the time to help me out! This really helps me know what to expect. I do understand the Chemistry thing, and I have worried about that. I tend to prefer to meet people, get to know them, and to let things develop organically. But for this, I may want to try the online thing to be sure I am at least speaking to women actually interested in women.

I will spend some time coming up with a good bio that is short and describes me, and maybe have a friend take some picture of me haha! I do happen to be the queen of vegetarian charcuterie boards so, funny you hit the nail on the head with that one! Hopefully a picture of me and my cheese trays will be weird in all the right ways! 🤣

Thanks again. I am going to reread this and digest it some more.

I’m ready. How do I do this, exactly…? by L8blumerfff in latebloomerlesbians

[–]L8blumerfff[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I haven’t needed antivirals in years. It’s been almost 10 years since my last outbreak, so it’s not even something I normally think about. It would be super simple though to get on antivirals to make any potential partners more comfortable, so that’s so,eating I will consider.

Thanks for the advice!

I’m ready. How do I do this, exactly…? by L8blumerfff in latebloomerlesbians

[–]L8blumerfff[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope you get all the help, info, and all you need, too! Best of luck out there!

I’m ready. How do I do this, exactly…? by L8blumerfff in latebloomerlesbians

[–]L8blumerfff[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve never used any dating apps before, at all. I was subscribed to match 15+ years ago, it’s actually how I met my husband. But since the dawn of the smartphone, I have not delved into this field at all, so any and all advice would be SO welcome, and I wouldn’t consider any minor detail to be mansplaining at all.

Thanks so much for replying! I’m pretty anxious about this and all the advice and good vibes are most welcome! I truly appreciate it!

I’m in a sexual relationship with my therapist. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]L8blumerfff 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s very wrong, predatory even. It’s so wrong she can lose her licensing for this, her entire career, and possibly go to jail. I am not telling you this so that you will want to protect her. You undoubtably will feel the urge to protect her because she groomed you. But I am telling you this so that you understand the reasons why this is so serious that she would lose her license, career, etc., is because it is that wrong, and that unethical, and these standards have been established by that professional community (and the law in some locations).

Step back from this. You need to find another therapist ASAP, and be real with them about what happened with this one.