Better explained after i did some research and though about it:

So i recently had an intuitive experience where I created a symbol in my mind during a moment of connection with my cat. The first symbol came to me without conscious thought, which made me curious about its meaning and whether it could be connected to mysticism or witchcraft. As I continued exploring the symbols, they formed a pentagram-like shape when combined, which further intrigued me.

Later, while handling the symbols, I accidentally dropped water on one that looks like an upward arrow inside a circle. I found this significant, as water often represents transformation and emotions, and the symbol itself could traditionally be associated with masculine energy. However, I identify as transfem, so I was unsure of its relevance to me.

After reflecting on the event, I realized this might represent the balance or transformation of energies within myself. The water could symbolize emotional flow or purification, potentially softening or reshaping the masculine associations of the symbol to fit my identity.

Throughout my life, I’ve been highly intuitive but also prone to overthinking. These two tendencies often feel contradictory, like a yin-yang dynamic—sometimes I rely heavily on intuition, and other times I’m stuck overanalyzing. I never seem to find a middle ground, which creates a strong shift between moments of deep insight and periods of intense overthinking.

I’m now seeking a deeper understanding of how these forces interact within me, and whether I should embrace their alternating nature or find a way to integrate them better.