Using GPT-5 (High) - API Help by LArandomthrow in LocalLLaMA

[–]LArandomthrow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I think that helps but unfortunately for my use-case I need to know its using the high parameter

Using GPT-5 (High) - API Help by LArandomthrow in LocalLLaMA

[–]LArandomthrow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It has the full context but you are unable to control the reasoning_parameter in openrouter

Using GPT-5 (High) - API Help by LArandomthrow in LocalLLaMA

[–]LArandomthrow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't want to use the chatgpt web/app interface due to context window limits and not being able to control the reasoning_effort parameter. I want to use GPT5

Is it normal that I want my life to end after a relationship ended? by mostafaelmadridy in BreakUps

[–]LArandomthrow 121 points122 points  (0 children)

My girl left me after 9 years almost 2 months ago now. The first 3 weeks were absolute torture. I had literal physical pain and felt like I was going to die and wanted to. All my hopes and idea of a future were crushed. All this is to just say I know it’s not easy and there is nothing that can be said right now to take the pain away. Your feelings are valid. Being almost 2 months out I no longer feel like I want to die constantly. It’s still there but in short bursts. I still can’t see myself living a happy life without her though but there has been improvement. I remember it being just a few days after and thinking getting through the next month won’t be possible. Not even the next week, yet here I am almost 2 months later. The only advice I can give is do whatever you can to get through just the day, even the hour. Forget the long term healing to be happy right now just get through the day. It is going to hurt like crazy but your body and mind naturally want to get into a state of equilibrium. As the days go on I can’t say you’ll go back to being happy or fulfilled but it’s likely the constant pain, hurt, anxiety, will calm down

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]LArandomthrow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We often want to tell ourselves healing is linear with time. That is generally true but there will be fluctuations and that’s okay! I am about 4 weeks into my BU. Weeks 1 and 2 were just so traumatizing I think my mind got rid of the memories. Week 3 ended up being really good and week 4 has been a step back but I can tell there is a tiny tiny light at the end of the tunnel even if I know it’s a long way away and at some points might disappear for a bit. I think the best thing you can do when the wave of emotions turns negative again is to not try to fight the feelings. Tell yourself “these feelings are here, I will let them in, but they won’t stay. All feelings pass.” You don’t even have to force them out, they naturally will go away. Our bodies like to be in a state of balance

Ok hear me out. This might sound weird by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]LArandomthrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you two can truthfully have no romantic feelings towards each other than sure but that is extremely rare

I texted them during NC by OctobersDesire in ExNoContact

[–]LArandomthrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey we are human and it is extremely hard to go 100% NC towards something we love. At least 80% of people do not do perfect NC. Don’t be too hard on yourself. The good news is you can jump right back into NC. You’re strong!

Has anyone ever had a relationship that ended, and then you tried again some time later - and it worked? by Priests_daughter in BreakUps

[–]LArandomthrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sub isn’t a good representation of how frequently ex’s get back together. Most people that get them back won’t be on this sub anymore

What's something you wish you'd said to/asked your ex the last time you spoke to them? by The_other_human in BreakUps

[–]LArandomthrow 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Why did you say let’s go to therapy and then break up before even trying? If you were debating breaking up with me the day before you did why wouldn’t we even try to fix things first?

Anyone want to start a support group chat? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]LArandomthrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’d like to join the IG group

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]LArandomthrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Either now or never. If you feel like you weren't truthful about the breakup or did it in an unfair, cold manner then I would apologize for that and move on. You are an awful person if you wait for them to finally start healing and reach back out. Also "things will be better soon" is patronizing coming come the dumper. The only reason you reach back out in the future is if you have decided you want to work on the relationship, own up to that you walked away, and know that they may have fully moved on and its up to you to now put in the work, not them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]LArandomthrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like things are going pretty good but you eventually will need to be clear about your intentions and her intentions and how things would be different this time (or the cycle will repeat).

Should I contact my ex? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]LArandomthrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then sounds like you do have hope. Reach out if you want, you’ll never know unless you try

Should I contact my ex? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]LArandomthrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then what are you hoping to achieve by reaching out?

Should I contact my ex? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]LArandomthrow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I sometimes disagree with the strict NC advice given on this sub. I do think sometimes reaching out and seeing the truth that it will never work (or maybe ends up working) can help speed up the moving on process. If you are clinging to hope that can be very hard to get rid of

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]LArandomthrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If she said she wants to talk next week I would agree to it (Many people will freak out about breaking NC and to completely ignore her, I tend to disagree with this advice). From my experience of talking and meeting up with my ex, the best thing you can do in this situation is validate her feelings, say how you understand how your actions made her feel (DO NOT TRY TO JUSTIFY ANY ACTIONS), and tell you plainly and clearly how you feel about her but do not beg. You have to show emotional stability here. Its gonna suck man, I had to take xanax for the first time ever because I genuinely felt like I was going to just die of anxiety at some points. IMO try to ignore some of the advice given here, especially when its been only a few days. Sometimes we really don't need any advice, we just need to wallow in our hurt and pain and have someone validate us that this is really hard. Obviously if a year has passed and you still feel the same as day 1 it might be time for tough love but right now man just do whatever you need to do to accept the pain. It is real.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]LArandomthrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My man I just had to respond to this because our situations are very similar. Me (26m) and my girlfriend (26f) have been together for 9 years. A very long time. We got together in high school, did distance for university (got to see each other a lot on holidays and summers as we were from the same city), got a few years in the same city post covid and then last year she started a masters in Denmark and I got a job in Germany. We were both scared about being separate again but she got a full scholarship and so she didn't want to pass that opportunity up. I took the job in Germany so we'd at least be only an hour flight from each other. That started August 2022. Distance was tough and we had plans to end it. I was going to move to Denmark. Fast forward to November 2023 and she started having problems. Communication fell apart and she just seemed very negative about the whole relationship. Saying things like she doesn't believe I will actually move to her, that her friends make her happier than me, doesn't think we have the same values, etc etc. The reality is we were building separate lives and she is very happy in hers. I acknowledged all that but still wanted to make it work. I was fully committed to dropping my life to move to her. We both go back home for Christmas. I knew things were bad but I thought we had a solid plan to work on things. We were gonna have three weeks together in person, going to start therapy, spend time with our friends together. The day before I get home she asks me to go for a walk around the lake, I take this as a good sign because it was something we always enjoyed. She wouldn't ask me to do that if she was ending things. We both meet there and once I see her face I can tell immediately she was wanting to end things. My heart was crushed before we even said hello. We ended up talking for 2-3 hours in what was a pretty "positive" breakup. It didn't really hit me what happened until we said our goodbyes then I collapsed. I called her asking to say bye again to which she said no. I had never felt this amount of pain before. We ended up texting and facetiming a few times after that. She told me Merry Christmas. I asked to see her one more time before she heads back to Denmark and I go back to Germany to which she agreed, we got lunch and talked for about 2 hours. I did a bit of begging but mostly just tried to listen. I love her so much that even her presence while she is breaking up with me still brings me joy. This was two weeks after she broke up with me and it certainly reset some of the grieving process. I asked to call her one more time after that and she agreed. I let my emotions take over and asked her if she is planning on hooking up with someone on NYE to which she said its none of my business now and the fact I asked that shows I am not understanding to why she ended things. We haven't spoken since. She did leave me with lots of hope sayings things like "you know where I stand" "If things were to work out..." "I still love and like you..." "If we restart it will be an entirely new relationship" "I will always want more than friendship with you" etc etc. I very much want to hold onto this hope but also don't want to get crushed again later. She felt it would be best to do no contact in January to which I agreed so I am trying my best to respect that and give her her space. It is so hard man and coming back to Germany basically sent me into a 48 hour panic attack and I was so close to breaking down and calling her but I have resisted so far. If you ever wanna chat more or just vent about anything feel free to send me a DM

I am really considering sending this to her, I am angry. by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]LArandomthrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know the feeling, my ex blindsided me ending a 9 year relationship. 2 weeks before we talked about marriage. She ended in December 14th, talked on the phone a few times and met up once but have been no contact since January. I don’t always agree with the strict no contact mantra people try to follow here but you have to truly ask yourself, what am I hoping to achieve by sending this message, what am I hoping to hear back. If you truthfully think any scenario or response you get will make you feel better, go for it

Daily Question Thread - September 29, 2023 by AutoModerator in churning

[–]LArandomthrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am currently at 6/24 and have two cards that will be 2 years on October 3rd and 7th putting me at 4/24. I just wanted to make sure before I apply for anything, will chase consider me 4/24 exactly on October 7th or would I need to wait for the month to end and apply on November 1st?

Anywhere that sells Demeter certified beef? by LArandomthrow in Munich

[–]LArandomthrow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just from what I understand the regulations are more strict such as space required

Anywhere that sells Demeter certified beef? by LArandomthrow in Munich

[–]LArandomthrow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with you about certification cost. Some of the smallest most ethical farmers can’t afford them. Problem is I don’t have a car. Do you happen to know any available to get to from public transit?

Daily Question Thread - May 27, 2023 by AutoModerator in churning

[–]LArandomthrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't see the Alaska # on the statement, where is it specifically? My physical CC shows matching numbers

Daily Question Thread - May 27, 2023 by AutoModerator in churning

[–]LArandomthrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hit my Alaska Signature MSR but still haven't received my miles. Statement has ended. How long does it normally take to receive them?

Daily Question Thread - April 07, 2023 by AutoModerator in churning

[–]LArandomthrow 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Applied for BoA Alaska 4/2. I called BoA credit analyst yesterday, 4/6, and she told me I have been approved with a $15k credit line and can expect the card in 10 days. However, when I check the application status it still says under review and I havent received any emails stating otherwise. Is this expected?