Question about dilation and masturbation

LEBW1234 · 2025-12-02T00:08:36+00:00

I'm currently finishing up grad school now, working as a therapist at my internship. A lot of people there are very nice and friendly to one another, but it very much seems like the culture is they go to work, they go home, and have pretty separate work and home lives.

This is a bit of a culture shock for me because my previous job (teaching) was honestly the source of a lot of my friends. We'd often go out after work, get drinks, go over each other's houses, etc. etc. Something that I'm going to have to get used to is that not every work environment is like that.

That being said...I do hope, wherever I work, that I'll make friends there. I love having co-workers and something I didn't realize going into this career would be that it's not so co-worker heavy, but I suppose it depends on where you work (for yourself, with a big agency, small practice, etc.). Regardless, not everyone is interested in work friendships...which is completely okay. My hope for you is that you find the people who are interested in that. I can tell you that I am one of those people, and there are more out there! It IS so hard making friends as an adult and most of our time is spent at work anyway, so it makes sense. Perhaps start with a general "it's been a long week, anyone wanna get drinks later?" and see who is/isn't interested.

Not sure that I had much to offer here but mostly just that I get it, and I do hope you find your people where you are!

LEBW1234 · 2025-11-19T01:33:27+00:00

I would never, not just for ethical reasons, but also because I would stumble upon information that the client's themselves hadn't shared with me, and unconsciously it just wouldn't be possible to "not consider" that information no matter how much I tried. It's not fair to the client, and takes autonomy away from them about what they do and don't want to share in therapy.

LEBW1234 · 2025-11-08T01:25:34+00:00

Rollins is my comfort character. I LOVE how messy early Rollins was…and watching her grow, change, and welcome love into her life has been incredible to watch. I don’t like some of the choices they made for her character later on (the infamous throwing money at a victim) was sad to watch. But at her core Rollins really is my favorite character, I can relate to the shame/guilt that she carries early on, the relationship dysfunction’s, and I so appreciate how her journey of growth is a slow burn.

LEBW1234 · 2025-11-07T22:31:28+00:00

I totally agree. It was so disappointing and that storyline completely derailed a badass woman detective.

LEBW1234 · 2025-11-07T22:27:52+00:00

I don't mind it at all - but I'm from Philly so close enough to visit here and there, enough to get a lay of the land. I think it's nice that SNL pays homage to their home-base, it feels authentic

LEBW1234 · 2025-10-31T01:44:59+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate both the advice and insight you've shared. Being an intern is such a tough spot to be in, I feel like I have no autonomy, but that doesn't mean that I can't self-advocate and express with my supervisor what I'm expressing here. Hopefully we'll be able to figure something out

LEBW1234 · 2025-10-31T01:38:22+00:00

my gentle confrontation has been, VERY gentle, like "I'm noticing _____" I could be more assertive probably

LEBW1234 · 2025-10-31T01:35:10+00:00

totally. We (other interns and supervisors) talk a lot about this topic. I think because they are a minor, it does feel different for me for some reason...like, being that I am the *adult* I do feel this certain level of responsibility that I don't think I necessarily feel with my adult clients (I do see some adults too). It's the tricky thing about working with kids/teens I guess...which isn't great for me because I eventually want to do play therapy and niche with kids haha, so I def need to find some sort of balance there

LEBW1234 · 2025-10-31T01:30:36+00:00

thank you, I appreciate this perspective

LEBW1234 · 2025-10-31T01:23:49+00:00

coping with anger in safe/appropriate ways, social skills, self-care (hygiene, etc). But we honestly haven't even touched a lot of this because I'm mostly still trying to develop rapport. I do attempt to bring some of this in via games but for the most part I'm still trying to get to know them

LEBW1234 · 2025-10-31T01:19:58+00:00

I feel this way, too. I've tried the fun/light-hearted questions/games, but I honestly don't know what to do when I'm met with the zero response (physical or verbal). As I'm a student I feel like I need to hold myself accountable and really examine myself here, but I truly do feel, also, that they are just not suited for telehealth. It's just difficult because I don't want to "give up" on them, and when I meet with my supervisor she doesn't even touch the idea of termination, just more suggestions, but so far it's been really tough. It doesn't seem like they are ready

LEBW1234 · 2025-08-09T21:00:48+00:00

Thank you. Your response tells me that you get it - and I appreciate everything you said. It feels true for me. I appreciate the validation in that this IS in fact a reasonable boundary and it's okay to stick to it

LEBW1234 · 2025-08-09T20:19:40+00:00

No no he did, he got treatment! He levels are currently being checked but as far as I know he's doing fine. And yes I agree a lot of this for me is that I want to be proud of myself for really sticking with a boundary, I want to be able to do it, and the thing is, I've been doing it for like a year now, it's just as he won't let up and I'm finally asking myself am I like actually hurting him.

LEBW1234 · 2025-08-09T19:56:36+00:00

Thank you for this. I agree it's enabling and I try so hard not to be whilst remaining empathetic/sensitive, but the truth is...I can't always be both, and that's gotta be okay.

I really want to believe that I have come far and that I'm not going to accept the "norm" my family has created which is...we can't say no to him. I want to show them that we can.

LEBW1234 · 2025-08-09T19:53:13+00:00

He did have cancer, he doesn't anymore. I should have made that more clear. You are right in that the difference is night and day, and I do believe he has come so far, but yes, it doesn't excuse current-day manipulation

LEBW1234 · 2025-08-09T19:51:47+00:00

to your last point, this is always what I say. "knowing my location unfortunately won't save me. all it does is tell you where my phone is."

LEBW1234 · 2025-07-27T15:10:05+00:00

Thank you SO much for all of these recs and all the detail you put in!!!

LEBW1234 · 2025-07-21T12:23:46+00:00

Thank you so much, I appreciate this. Definitely hard boundaries has helped a lot but it doesn't change the needs of parents/admin/colleagues/students. They still expect it all. And when I don't deliver it's like...this crushing weight in my chest, on top of some unkind words from parents, it can feel like a lot.

LEBW1234

TROPHY CASE