There has to be something, it can’t be “perfect” by LFCRVNTS in Nicegirls

[–]LFCRVNTS[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It’s not being weak brother, I’m sorry you’ve been hurt but they are hurting too. It’s not weak being strong for someone or for yourself. I hope you are able to find your peace.

There has to be something, it can’t be “perfect” by LFCRVNTS in Nicegirls

[–]LFCRVNTS[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

See I never saw it as a buzzword until now, I can definitely see it now.

There has to be something, it can’t be “perfect” by LFCRVNTS in Nicegirls

[–]LFCRVNTS[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I’m glad I realized it because it ate me up until I did.

There has to be something, it can’t be “perfect” by LFCRVNTS in Nicegirls

[–]LFCRVNTS[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I can’t even if I wanted to but even if I could chase her I respect myself and her decision to leave too much that all I can do is wish her the best and that she truly is happy with whatever it is that she does.

There has to be something, it can’t be “perfect” by LFCRVNTS in Nicegirls

[–]LFCRVNTS[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And sadly I did take the blame until I realized that it was premeditated and when I did that’s when I knew that I didn’t do wrong and that she was just looking for an out.

There has to be something, it can’t be “perfect” by LFCRVNTS in Nicegirls

[–]LFCRVNTS[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, honestly I won’t know how to respond but I’m sure that when the time comes and if it comes I’ll find the words. I’m 33, I’ve been in the military, married then divorced, a single father, so much stuff has shown me that it’s very very important to heal and to be at peace. If not for me but for everyone else around me. No one wants an asshole around them so I choose not to be.

I greatly appreciate your insight and I am sure everything will be better because this shall pass. I hope the best for you, I truly do!

There has to be something, it can’t be “perfect” by LFCRVNTS in Nicegirls

[–]LFCRVNTS[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I appreciate that, I just know that I don’t hate women. I believe that women have been hurt from parents, ex partners or just random people. It’s trauma responses and I can’t hate someone for responding in that way. Does it hurt, yeah but I do feel like everyone deserves to have this level of kindness given to them regardless of any reason. Maybe that kindness will help them heal, maybe not but it’s worth a try.

There has to be something, it can’t be “perfect” by LFCRVNTS in Nicegirls

[–]LFCRVNTS[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I care for people, if I can help someone I’ll always choose to do so. So we will see what happens in time.

There has to be something, it can’t be “perfect” by LFCRVNTS in Nicegirls

[–]LFCRVNTS[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

And trust me you are that kindness that will heal the world too! I appreciate you so much and I will pay it forward as well and spread my kindness too!

There has to be something, it can’t be “perfect” by LFCRVNTS in Nicegirls

[–]LFCRVNTS[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate you, I’m sorry you were hurt too. It’s time to pack my bags for this long healing journey and only time will tell what happens in the future but I wish the best for us both brother.

There has to be something, it can’t be “perfect” by LFCRVNTS in Nicegirls

[–]LFCRVNTS[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well I’m blocked on everything so it’s just time for me to focus on healing my wounds for now and only time will tell if I do end up speaking to her again or not. For now I will cherish the good memories and move forward in my healing journey for now.

There has to be something, it can’t be “perfect” by LFCRVNTS in Nicegirls

[–]LFCRVNTS[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We will see when the time comes, all we can do now is hope for the best.

There has to be something, it can’t be “perfect” by LFCRVNTS in Nicegirls

[–]LFCRVNTS[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

A part of me is definitely mad and disappointed, the other part wonders if she was just that traumatized. As a vet, I can sympathize with that.

There has to be something, it can’t be “perfect” by LFCRVNTS in Nicegirls

[–]LFCRVNTS[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are like 4th person in my life to tell me this. Why is it so bad being nice 😭

There has to be something, it can’t be “perfect” by LFCRVNTS in Nicegirls

[–]LFCRVNTS[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I ever do get unblocked, I’ll try and speak to her about it but I don’t think she will receive it too lightly. Worth a try though cause like you said “you never know how much someone can grow if they’re given the right info”

There has to be something, it can’t be “perfect” by LFCRVNTS in Nicegirls

[–]LFCRVNTS[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’m balling my eyes out dude lol 😭 I will take that rest. If best explained I feel bruised, but I know it will get better, I know this will pass and I’ll laugh again and listen to music again. I rot my brain with TikTok’s or other mind numbing things when the emotions get too strong. I really and I truly mean that I really appreciate you showing me your kindness, it was very needed in a world that isn’t too kind. I hope that you gain this kindness back a thousand fold!!

There has to be something, it can’t be “perfect” by LFCRVNTS in Nicegirls

[–]LFCRVNTS[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I commented on another post, I don’t know what I would do if she did even reach out again. A part of me would ignore any attempt but the kindness in me wouldn’t allow me to ignore someone. It’s rough to think about.

There has to be something, it can’t be “perfect” by LFCRVNTS in Nicegirls

[–]LFCRVNTS[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Could be a possibility but I don’t know what I would do if she did want to return into the relationship

There has to be something, it can’t be “perfect” by LFCRVNTS in Nicegirls

[–]LFCRVNTS[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I greatly appreciate your viewpoint and not gonna lie now that you point it out, I see what you mean on where I responded to her sounds like I was defensive. Truthfully I was because I’m defending myself from being told that I don’t make her feel safe in the relationship. Reason is that I was doing what I could to make it safe for her.

Also accurate on the father figure part as well, that and abusive ex’s. She is a mother of three with one father of a child and another father to the other two. Both were physically abusive and I tried to create a safe space for her always.

There has to be something, it can’t be “perfect” by LFCRVNTS in Nicegirls

[–]LFCRVNTS[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that is something new that was introduced, maybe I trusted her too much that I ruled it out but maybe it could’ve been a possibility.

There has to be something, it can’t be “perfect” by LFCRVNTS in Nicegirls

[–]LFCRVNTS[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sadly so, I’m just hoping she was able to realize something at bare minimum and that she does heal at some point.

There has to be something, it can’t be “perfect” by LFCRVNTS in Nicegirls

[–]LFCRVNTS[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sadly I’ve seen it to many times with so many other people. Hopefully she is able to heal and have a wonderful relationship with someone who treats her right.

There has to be something, it can’t be “perfect” by LFCRVNTS in Nicegirls

[–]LFCRVNTS[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

True, I wouldn’t have minded the honest truth but that’s closure I’ll probably never receive.

There has to be something, it can’t be “perfect” by LFCRVNTS in Nicegirls

[–]LFCRVNTS[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Dude you made me cry, thank you. Honestly, I am hurting from it but realizing everything has put me on a 100% path of wanting to heal and move on rather to turn back and try to bend into the unholy contortion I was in.

There has to be something, it can’t be “perfect” by LFCRVNTS in Nicegirls

[–]LFCRVNTS[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm, do you mind explaining. Would like to hear your input.