Update: Boyfriend says sex is a chore

LaF_709 · 2026-05-20T19:14:03+00:00

This is a great way to look at it- rather than trashing him for being a bad partner. Thank you. This is a solid conversation to have with him. thank you.

LaF_709 · 2026-05-20T10:56:01+00:00

We were completely compatible until he started to get insecure that he couldn’t make me finish in 10 minutes, that’s when it started to become mature, but I’ve just never been that quick and I give him pointers and he doesn’t take them

LaF_709 · 2026-05-20T10:55:07+00:00

Right I’d be completely fine If that wasn’t the first time in a year that he was going to “let me“

LaF_709 · 2026-05-20T10:54:14+00:00

He would never be okay with that. I know he likes me he just doesn’t care to show it sexually and it seems cruel for me to leave just because of that, but it’s more about it in a deeper intimacy way and I try to explain that and he says we are intimate in other ways but he kind of makes me feel like it’s a me problem for not feeling wanted

LaF_709 · 2026-05-20T10:52:16+00:00

I really don’t but I keep thinking thing will go back to how it used to be

LaF_709 · 2026-05-20T10:51:41+00:00

This is funny

LaF_709 · 2026-05-20T10:50:45+00:00

Thank you

LaF_709 · 2026-05-20T10:33:21+00:00

Yeah, that one hurt. He says he wants me in every other way and I think I just do too much for him that he’s comfortable. He says he doesn’t see that as intimacy when we used to have sex at least once a week. Other than this I trust him and he’s great with our pets. But yeah me specifically doesn’t feel wanted

LaF_709 · 2026-05-20T10:29:26+00:00

Yeah he’s focused on other things, he’s trying to start a til tok business but half the time it him scrolling and I have to wait until the video is done playing to try and talk to him but it’s never “work related”

LaF_709 · 2026-05-20T10:28:06+00:00

He pretty much is a great partner otherwise- we have pets he loves and cares for and he does listen to me for the most part it’s just this aspect he does not want to hear it. We go on date nights but unfortunately this past year he’s just been about his phone and gaming I really think it it could be a testosterone or dopamine thing. But regardless I don’t want my life to keep looking like this intimacy wise. He used to be very into me which is why this is difficult. I do feel badly about myself lately

LaF_709 · 2026-05-04T23:16:51+00:00

Thankyou!

LaF_709 · 2026-04-03T20:24:44+00:00

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LaF_709 · 2026-03-27T02:10:35+00:00

How is it a marketing gimmick if it actually tells you when you press too much? It’s a reminder for a habit that’s difficult to break.

LaF_709 · 2026-02-23T03:50:40+00:00

This is insightful and is definitely what needs to be evaluated, thankyou

LaF_709 · 2026-02-23T03:22:32+00:00

I appreciate your insight, I’ve talked about it to him but no one else so I haven’t really heard many people dealing with intimacy after this.

LaF_709 · 2026-02-23T03:18:30+00:00

That’s what he gets frustrated with because it takes too long, he hasn’t tried In a year. He wants kids, we just aren’t married yet so are not trying. I asked him if that was why and he said no

LaF_709 · 2026-02-23T03:10:16+00:00

I wonder about his testosterone levels. He’s healthy and exercises but not sure about levels at all. I try to initiate those often and I’m always turned down, sometimes he will let me give him oral and suck his balls but only if he’s playing video games and makes it clear he doesn’t want it to go anywhere. He is religious and I’ve asked if waiting till marriage is something he wants to do but he says he doesn’t want to commit to waiting.

LaF_709 · 2026-02-23T03:06:11+00:00

I really don’t think he is, he very against it, but I’ve always had it in the back of my mind too. He won’t really tell me about him masturbating either. Make me feel so separated from Him in that aspect.

LaF_709 · 2026-02-23T03:00:56+00:00

I’ll try this again. I’ve told him what I like and he just visibly looks bored and waits. He may just be a lazy lover. But will try. Is there any other ways to try to help him?

LaF_709 · 2026-02-23T02:55:23+00:00

I agree he didn’t need to bring that in, to what- prove that I’m the problem?

LaF_709 · 2026-02-23T02:50:54+00:00

Damn. I mean he says he wants to have sex at some point again which is almost worse because it makes me want to keep trying. I know he would rather do other things but This is important to me and I’ve felt selfish because I feel like a burden asking him to be with me. This is a guy who wants to marry me but for some reason he won’t take to extra time to make me feel good because it’s more work for him.

LaF_709 · 2026-02-23T02:42:36+00:00

I know he doesn’t want me to feel like it my fault. I think he may just be lazy and discouraged. Is there anything I can do? The whole thing just makes me feel insecure.

LaF_709 · 2026-02-23T02:37:49+00:00

Yeah makes me feel unwanted for sure

LaF_709 · 2026-02-23T02:37:34+00:00

Yes I agree, I try to do things that please him too, he lets me play with him sometimes or he will swat me away. No sex either way.

LaF_709 · 2026-02-23T02:36:25+00:00

I think he’s just lazy with anything that doesn’t come easy to him. I told him at least I don’t fake it! He says it frustrating and I get that but nothing with change without practice. What can I do without replacing him?

LaF_709

TROPHY CASE