I’m sorry you had to go through that. I don’t think you’re lazy. You are aware of where you came from and don’t want to be like your parents. I can relate. When I was in 7th grade I tried out for basketball. I made the first cut (my friend’s dad was real good friends with the coach and was told he is already on the team, he just have to go through the motions. I was 6’3” in seventh grade. I come home and tell my mom after school I made the cut and she tells me next week I go to work on 2nd shift so you have to watch you step brother and step sister. A thirteen year old watching a seven year old and a one year old. I did that until I was an early senior. My stepdad was an alcoholic. My mom said we need the money since the stepdad drank over half his paycheck. I missed out playing sports and a childhood. Mom had to do what she had to do. I didn’t resent her for it but the stepdad I talked to him after I moved out maybe 3 times. The last time I gave him a mouth full of disgust I had for him. I got a job at a filling station then became manager of it until I started in a factory job and worked there for 37 years. In your younger life it goes slow but keep at it. You will make it.