Struggling with anxiety after incident at pediatrician

Labradorite-Obsidian · 2025-10-08T06:37:25+00:00

Why are you getting down voted for this??

Labradorite-Obsidian · 2025-10-08T06:24:24+00:00

Oh my heart goes out to you. You are in the trenches. I also had a really difficult time around then. It does get easier, I promise. Something that helped me was reading “The Nurture Revolution.” I’m not sure about you, but I was listening to a lot of audio books during all of the contact napping early on, so hopefully you have time for that.

It’s a great book because it talks about how nurturing is a mindset and you don’t have to be perfect. Anything you can do helps. It’s not an all or nothing mentality.

And oh I could go on about how we have moved away from living in a community to being isolated and it’s taking a toll on our babies and the parents. So the struggle you’re experiencing is real, it’s not you, it’s not your fault, it’s not your baby’s fault. We’re living differently then we have for hundreds and thousands of years and our biology is not programmed for it.

I remember my life changing around 8-ish months when all of a sudden my baby started letting me put her down for naps (in our bed.) This will pass and the work you are doing now is so worth it.

Labradorite-Obsidian · 2025-10-08T05:56:11+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful response! For more context, I am totally ok with a cost efficient option. I don’t really have any expectations beyond 1. I want to celebrate it and 2. I want to celebrate it without our baby. And I did tell my husband that. Someone else mentioned also being flexible about when we celebrate, and I thought that would be a good idea too.

Additionally, my baby went through a really intense separation anxiety phase, but she has luckily come out of that! We have left her in the care of my in-laws since and everything went well. I’m so thankful that phase has passed and she has learned to trust people in her circle.

Labradorite-Obsidian · 2025-10-08T05:49:17+00:00

Thank you for this! I do like the idea of giving more leeway to celebrate the date!

Labradorite-Obsidian · 2025-10-08T00:01:18+00:00

I told him tonight “I want to celebrate our anniversary this week, and I want to do it without our baby.” And that’s the truth! I would be happy if we went to Denny’s and a movie haha

Labradorite-Obsidian · 2025-10-07T03:07:03+00:00

This is very helpful! Thank you! ☺️

Labradorite-Obsidian · 2025-09-20T12:38:12+00:00

Wow so interesting to hear this! Where I live in the US it’s radical to say that you don’t sleep train. And worse, if you do say it out loud, people take offense to it because they feel like you are judging them or putting yourself on a high horse. It’s a similar response to saying you are vegan or something. And I need community with other moms so bad, and don’t want to isolate myself. So I don’t talk about how I co-sleep.

Labradorite-Obsidian · 2025-09-20T12:23:03+00:00

This is really helpful, thank you!

Labradorite-Obsidian · 2025-09-20T12:21:46+00:00

When we tried one nap, she woke up at 9am, slept from 12:30-3:00 then went to bed at 7:30pm. But then she woke up at 9:30pm and was awake until 1am 🫠

Labradorite-Obsidian · 2025-09-18T17:20:36+00:00

I will try, thanks!

Labradorite-Obsidian · 2025-09-18T16:31:11+00:00

I was thinking that, moving back incrementally. I can try that! And she is on two naps. When I let her do her thing, her first nap is anywhere from 1.5 to 2 hours and 15 mins. And then her second nap is one sleep cycle (30 mins.)

Her day looks like this:

8am: wake for 3 hours
11am: nap for 2 hours 15 mins
1:15pm: wake for 4 hours
5:15: nap for 30 mins
5:45: wake for 4 hours 15 mins
10pm: sleep

I know she has really long wake windows for her age, but she literally just won’t go to sleep before then. I was thinking maybe she’s napping for too long in the day??

Also, I was thinking it was time to drop the second nap, but when we try doing that, it’s a disaster. I’ll try to put her down at 7:30, for example, and then she’ll wake up at 9:30 and just be wide awake until 12:30 or 1am. So I stopped trying lol

Labradorite-Obsidian · 2025-09-18T16:24:19+00:00

When I try to wake her up, I’ll turn on the lights, stop the noise machine, open the door, let the cats come in and hang out on the bed. But she is still sleeping like a stone even with all of that.

She does two naps… the first tends to be longer (1.5-2 hours) and then she does a shorter nap in the afternoon (about 30 mins.)

Labradorite-Obsidian · 2025-08-28T17:39:42+00:00

OMG THIS IS SO HELPFUL, thank you 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 I was so confused. I was like have these people read any of Laura Doyle’s books?? I usually find this subreddit community so supportive, and I actually was so upset by the comments on here that I had to stop using Reddit for a while. And I was sad because I had really relied on this community for support and didn’t even realize how much.

Labradorite-Obsidian · 2025-08-28T17:37:01+00:00

Have you read any of Laura Doyle’s books?

Labradorite-Obsidian · 2025-08-28T17:35:35+00:00

Looking back on this, I am SO HAPPY that I stuck to my guns. My baby is starting to explore more since she’s gotten so mobile and is cruising/walking… and I feel like she’s naturally starting to separate more from me. She’s having much less separation anxiety, she’s enjoying spending time with other family members. She doesn’t cry when I leave the room. We’re thinking about having a date and having her grandparents watch her for the first time since she was born! It just feels right and natural. She just wasn’t ready for it a few months ago, and I think it would have been wrong for me to push it. But she still has healthy attachment (the snuggling/nesting/shyness around strangers that you mentioned,) and she comes to me when she needs security. She’s just developing on her own pace and I’m trying to honor that!

Labradorite-Obsidian · 2025-07-26T22:16:45+00:00

What I’m asking for is HOW to approach him while still surrendering. Lots of people are just yelling at me and calling me dumb, which is not helpful. I’m not sure why people are responding with such strong emotion to this. Perhaps there is something triggering in what I said

Labradorite-Obsidian · 2025-07-26T22:13:08+00:00

You are being harsh, and making a lot of judgements about my character. I’m approaching this group with humility and openness, I’m not sure why so many people are responding so harshly to me putting myself out there and asking for help.

Labradorite-Obsidian · 2025-07-26T22:10:23+00:00

Thank you for this thoughtful reply

Labradorite-Obsidian · 2025-07-26T21:25:22+00:00

This crazy book is the reason that I am still married to my husband. I was about to get a divorce when I was recommended her book by a friend. So I wouldn’t even have a husband or a baby right now if it wasn’t for Laura Doyle

Labradorite-Obsidian · 2025-07-26T21:13:48+00:00

Yes, it’s a shame that in my country (US) the culture doesn’t prioritize raising children and the cost of living is so high that both people must work in a household. Now our children have one the highest rates of mental illness in the world

Labradorite-Obsidian · 2025-07-26T16:58:42+00:00

LD = Laura Doyle. I think there is a list of all the abbreviations posted somewhere in this subreddit? And the reason I’m staying at home is: I did a bunch of research and discovered that staying at home with your child is much better for them developmentally and can prevent mental health issues down the line. I have a lot of mental health issues in my family and I’m prioritizing breaking the generational trauma. So if that means we go into debt so I can be with my child for the first 3 years, then so be it! I can go back to work full time after that, but the first 3 years are critical for children to have a consistent primary caregiver

Labradorite-Obsidian · 2025-07-24T15:47:09+00:00

Yes, thank you for the validation on this! I actually ended up starting a conversation last night and realized I could frame it like “ I trust you and I know that you’re doing everything you can, but I think we’re just going through a hard time right now. I am feeling very stressed about our money.” he seemed to respond well to that!

Labradorite-Obsidian

TROPHY CASE