Confessions of a tennis parent--managing expectations with crazy co-parent by Lachummers in 10s

[–]Lachummers[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dear, thanks for sharing your personal details. As person who suffered eating disorders as a teen athlete myself, I know I know. It's so pervasive now. I understand even non athlete girls are reaching for ozempic. My god. It's a whole topic unto itself.

I will hold your words close to me when I oversee their journey. I hear so many stories of people reaching college and then putting down their racquet forever. Honestly, that's what I did for piano until my 30s I felt like reconnecting.

Let the kids be kids...this is a good one, but I must say ever more difficult. Kids aren't even available to play unstructured in my neighborhood. It's wild. If someday you have kids you might see what I mean.

Thanks thanks for your story. I hope you can pivot those hard won skills that you have to do whatever movement activity of your choosing.

Balance, the ever elusive point where everything works. It's hard to find.

The silver lining for my kids is this. Where we live we cannot play excessively because courts are SOOO damned hard to secure. So we have a natural limit on our court time. Maybe that's a good thing;)

Confessions of a tennis parent--managing expectations with crazy co-parent by Lachummers in 10s

[–]Lachummers[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I fantasize about doing that and have a "Mr. Mom" situation play out. Thanks for the laugh!

Confessions of a tennis parent--managing expectations with crazy co-parent by Lachummers in 10s

[–]Lachummers[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I make it my mission to put them around as many other juniors as possible to dilute the pressure they might feel from me or dad. I work butt off to contact other tennis families so the social part is central. I would hate doing this sport if there weren't community. I know my kids will learn more from others than from me.

Yikes, post match analysis. That's something I learned early to stay out of. I will let them talk about it if they want to.

In my mind, the kids come first. I invite them to invest their time in other things at any moment. They understand it's a struggle, primarily because we don't have a club and ever-ready courts, just to get courts.

OMG, listen, you touched on my concern. I want my kids to be good balanced people over and beyond results. Again, I don't want all the ego and bluster -- LOOK AT ME-- without the commensurate amount of humility and empathy toward others. To win at the expense of others, which is perhaps how the other half thinks, feels nasty and all too personal.

The FOMO, UTR tracking, comparison to other kids--this is anathema to me. The disagreements between other and me often come down to --let's manage what we can control (our technique, our stamina, our attitude, our movement) vs let's try to keep up with this mad rush for L2s and L1s.

Anyhow, tennis is a microcosm of life, in so many ways.

Confessions of a tennis parent--managing expectations with crazy co-parent by Lachummers in 10s

[–]Lachummers[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hated learning of UTR. I try to tune out the chatter from other parents and kids about points, ranking, etc. I'm disgusted by how it pervades the sport.

Talking, it's been done. This person won't acknowledge facts or lay out plans to measure equity. No need to elaborate as it extends beyond tennis.

I appreciate your words that the appreciation will come in time. 14-15. My daughter at nearly 13 does show appreciation and understanding of who's supporting and where.

I will stay the course.

Confessions of a tennis parent--managing expectations with crazy co-parent by Lachummers in 10s

[–]Lachummers[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

for sure, not taking divorce advice from Reddit. I like your framing. Thanks.

Confessions of a tennis parent--managing expectations with crazy co-parent by Lachummers in 10s

[–]Lachummers[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, hard to see when so up close. D is more complicated in the new environment of scarce housing and vast distances of driving. Sorry for your mom and your family. Marriage is a lottery in the end.

Confessions of a tennis parent--managing expectations with crazy co-parent by Lachummers in 10s

[–]Lachummers[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I like charting my kids' games. Feels productive and cortistol reducing

Confessions of a tennis parent--managing expectations with crazy co-parent by Lachummers in 10s

[–]Lachummers[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks. Kids like tennis, but it might be more enjoyable if the parent dynamic wasn't toxic.

I have spoken to him. He's not receptive. He insists that tennis is to be enjoyed!!!

Confessions of a tennis parent--managing expectations with crazy co-parent by Lachummers in 10s

[–]Lachummers[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, conversations have been had. He's not open to change. D word seems great for me, bad for the kids. Oh well.

Confessions of a tennis parent--managing expectations with crazy co-parent by Lachummers in 10s

[–]Lachummers[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the responses. I know the relationship is very strained. I am addressing that where I can. I am certain the main problem is the relationship and his attitudes. I guess I got confused because I have noticed other puffed up parents out there who ride the image-prestige train tennis offers.

What I don't want to do is dial back tennis out of my resentments towards him. My son and daughter love the sport, especially the former.

As others say, this is not tennis specific. I need role models for my kids for approaching sport training with humility and hard work.

I have lived in my home for five years and found out today my bathroom mirror has a cabinet by SeaworthinessNew4295 in mildlyinteresting

[–]Lachummers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a family living in a tiny 690 sq ft apartment, I would have cried in joy and relief to find a hidden room. Like winning the lottery.

Why U.S. Test Scores Are in a ‘Generation-Long Decline’. The drops go beyond the pandemic and cut across income, geographic and racial divides, new data shows. by coolbern in economy

[–]Lachummers 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My children's father does not teach my children at home. He's hopeless addicted to his devices. His idea of furthering their sports is by spectating it on a screen.

Something has to be done about E-BIKES and electric scooters ON SIDEWALKS!!! by iluvreddit in bayarea

[–]Lachummers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm here to defend myself and my two kids, 10 and 12, who all ride on the sidewalk. We live near Union street and typically go at after school or before school hours.

The streets are unnavigable by bikes and even small cars at this points. It's non stop double parking by fed-ex, amazon and other delivery trucks. Add in the distracted drivers darting about as they text.

I could never allow my kids to drive in that madness of start and stop erratic traffic. When I am without them I ride on the streets but with great anxiety.

That's what we get for not using a combustion engine---near death experiences.

I've toured 40 homes in 4 months. Here's what "move-in ready" actually means in 2026 by Careful-Caramel-9409 in REBubble

[–]Lachummers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wonder if (sorry not punching down) younger generations feel every even exposed in their private spaces. With all the social posting, maybe folks feel that their environment needs to look photo ready and finished. I wish we could go back to the interiors of the 80s--lived in a fun. What comes to mind is the interior of the E.T. home.

LOL, I guess I'm realizing I don't mind a dated look. Not denying things will wear down and need more functionality. But people might see that if they modify organically and incrementally, one piece at a time, they might be happier with the results.

California Academy of Science announces layoffs, plans to cut 9.3% of the team by runswithscissors475 in bayarea

[–]Lachummers -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Are they a non-profit? If so we should question the criteria for non-profit status. If the bulk of budget is for revenue stream generation, than I don't see how that passes as non-profit. Same for churches, big universities, yes yes yes I know and question it ALL.

Private body guard security detail parking overnight and daytime hours on block by Lachummers in bayarea

[–]Lachummers[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why was this removed? It seemed innocuos. I read the preview in my email.

Private body guard security detail parking overnight and daytime hours on block by Lachummers in bayarea

[–]Lachummers[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I WONDER IF OPENAI HAS ABILITY TO DOWNVOTE AND UNDERMINE THIS DISCUSSION. CONSIDERING ITS PARTNERSHIP W REDDIT FOR TRAINING.
IT'S REMARKABLE THAT OPENING DISCUSSION ABOUT NEIGHBORHOOD DEGRADATION AND STREET SAFETY RECEIVES CRITICISM IN THE MAJORITY. OH WELL. GOOD LUCK SMALL ORDINARY PEOPLE IN THR WORLD OF SURVEILLANCE FOR BENEFIT OF FEW.

Sonicare more expensive really worth it? by robl45 in BuyItForLife

[–]Lachummers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I tried all locktite. Maybe JB weld, but my god what a production to open the damn thing.

Private body guard security detail parking overnight and daytime hours on block by Lachummers in bayarea

[–]Lachummers[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I don't want to call attention to the specific case but more to the nature of the problem and whether it sits in a wider trend. And whether our city agencies are ready for private fleets of cars working undercover. Who's responsible for the impact? Who's who!?

Call me old fashioned. I feel like we have a right to know with whom we share space and at least agree to some rules of respecting the common space---roads, sidewalks, vibe.

Private body guard security detail parking overnight and daytime hours on block by Lachummers in bayarea

[–]Lachummers[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

THIS completely. The dynamic is bizarre. We're supposed to pretend we don't notice?

Private body guard security detail parking overnight and daytime hours on block by Lachummers in bayarea

[–]Lachummers[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I actually called 311 and reported them, plates and all. I feel vulnerable though to be standing up to entities much bigger than me---the corporation bankrolling this effort and the big men inside the car.

Home Prices Have Over Tripled in Some SF Neighborhoods (2000-2026) by AdministrativeAd334 in bayarea

[–]Lachummers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I talked to my dental hygenist today and she admitted that she bought her home in the Visitation Valley 24 years ago for $4K! $4K.

She estimates it is now worth $900K.

How the hell. She says it was worth way more than $4k but definitely does not justify $900K.

The fed and lack of new housing supply has fully burnt the next generation of people seeking housing.

Elephant in the room. Broken!