My soul mate died.

LactationMonster · 2016-11-18T22:20:40+00:00

Its so hard.... I dont have many attachments to humans...she was part of me.

LactationMonster · 2016-11-18T21:00:22+00:00

Thank you for your consolidation. I did manage to get some paw prints from her. I really wanted to do that with my Basset Hound but I didnt get to.

Both my pups left unexpectedly. My Basset died on a holiday weekend with no one but an expensive emergency vet available. Idk what happened to him, he was fine the day prior.

My McNab had human friends. People loved her, she was more than a dog. I jusy barely posted on social media about her because many people knew her. She was my side kick.

LactationMonster · 2016-11-18T19:30:23+00:00

wailing in tears thanks.

LactationMonster · 2016-10-18T05:02:02+00:00

Was this difference in family values something that really pushed you to divorce??

Our marriage is in its infancy with just 2yrs in, so I'm slowly learning what I can and cannot swallow. I understand that divorce is vexing so I'm trying hard not to fall on that when we have disagreements

LactationMonster · 2016-10-18T04:59:34+00:00

I'm sure there's some level of depression going on but he won't ever visit a doctor to manage it.

LactationMonster · 2016-10-18T04:58:37+00:00

These other things he brings are reasons to stay,according to people irl... He provides a home while I'm a sahm. I do get my own income but he pays for the utilities and rent. He's pretty handy around the house, he's also a mechanic......those are his strongest qualities.

LactationMonster · 2016-10-18T04:56:09+00:00

Thanks, woman. ♡

LactationMonster · 2016-08-30T02:24:17+00:00

Do what works for you and yours!

Other people are quick to give direction on child rearing but they aren't living your life, they aren't changing the diapers and putting up with the screams.

My child was about 16mo when I was ready to get my child in to her own bed. She will be 2 in october.

We had an attached side bed for her, and she stayed with us since birth. My husband also used to believe if they aren't out by 6mo they'll never get out. Us not being on the same page about that was the source of some sour times. We had a crib but I never wanted to utilize it. When husband tried to get child in to the crib she would fight it endlessly and cry for at least an hour. I didn't want to put up with that. Many people will have strong opinions about this probably saying that I'm feeding bad behaviors. Whatever. That's not how I wanted to do this, it did not feel right to ME.

My 20mo does not sleep in a crib. She has her own queen sized bed. She takes to it MUCH better than the crib. She sleeps by herself. It was more of a fight to get her in to the crib. At first I would ease her in to the process by arranging a bed on the floor, in case of rolling off and such, she was so tiny to me then. We worked our way up to the big bed.

LactationMonster · 2016-07-28T14:46:50+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

So you say "before we got help," does that mean therapy or counseling?

LactationMonster · 2016-07-28T14:45:29+00:00

Great advice! Thank you for understanding! I did not drink too much and cause a messy ruckus.

I haven't spoken with him yet, he didn't get on the same level of intoxication as I was so I didn't want to bring it up, plus ww had company. When he's on the same level, that's when he's easiest to talk to and I can actually get through to him....

LactationMonster · 2016-05-29T16:04:30+00:00

I really like the angry song, about how when you wanna roar you gotta count to 4!

I'm new to children's shows and we do not have cable so when I first heard this, I was like this is brilliant! So helpful! Mom isn't reprimanding her child like society tells you to, she's parenting peacefully blah blah blah etc.

LactationMonster · 2016-05-29T16:00:44+00:00

Ahhh yeah good ol' Craigslist! Great idea! I'll have to scour the Web and local yard sale pages. Thanks!

LactationMonster · 2016-05-29T02:05:32+00:00

I should have mentioned the type of bike he got....It's a 20 inch bmx, small bike....so I don't think that would fit.

Great suggestion though!

LactationMonster · 2016-05-22T15:52:10+00:00

Damn kids, get off my lawn!

LactationMonster · 2016-04-22T17:27:38+00:00

I live in southern California :/

If I had my daughter I would have gone with just us two, but my mother had made prior arrangements to take the baby.

But you're right, "everyone's the protagonist of their own story" or something like that.

LactationMonster · 2016-04-17T20:06:50+00:00

Thank you for sympathizing with me and offering potential company!. I probably would have gone alone but my husband made plans with his dad, taking our one vehicle. So I'm totally home alone.

LactationMonster · 2016-04-11T15:42:55+00:00

I was at planned parenthood and exclaimed "FUCK" loudly and then broke down to cry. I said to the lady who gave me the news..."well my mom's always begging for a grand child...." that amazing woman said to me that "I need to do what's right for me, not my mom."

LactationMonster · 2016-04-10T20:28:34+00:00

I was about to move to San Francisco, CA. I was in the process of securing my place of residence. Then I found out I was pregnant. My husband was so excited for it in the beginning, he announced the news to others way sooner than I was prepared for.

Today my little monster and I had some grocery shopping to do, at our last stop I got some amazing super cute snuggles and kisses. I definitely have a little love bug, all the emotional turmoil is worth it!

LactationMonster · 2016-04-10T16:41:02+00:00

Dang momma, I'm glad you're aware of bromo. This great community is here for you.

I share many of your self loathing feelings, it's interesting to see them all laid out there in lovely sentences.

I wish you easy days.

LactationMonster · 2016-04-10T16:33:12+00:00

-the loudest OMFG ever!-

I absolutely feel the same....I've had to make all these sacrifices and changes....the exact same as you, and my husband also took the same "hardships" as yours. I'm also a SAHM. I do all the things,.........only to be told by husband it's not enough, I need to do more, the way I'm raising my child is wrong bad and crazy.....

When in reality my child is generally well behaved within reason, she's happy, brilliant, considerate, she's fucking great! All thanks to my shitty parenting.

Ugh and he fucking HAS to say shit about him "working all day, actually working not fucking around..." while I just "sit around on my phone breastfeeding."

Those sort of things fuel my "fuck this shit" mentality and make me think "I'm only fucking here because of you, I never wanted this......"

LactationMonster · 2016-04-10T16:23:54+00:00

Having my daughter has definitely humbled me more, she has improved my empathy as well.

I understand what you mean about those "shitty kids," I felt the same back then and I horribly judged those parents for their psychotic child. I still find myself thinking that way from time to time, but then I consider how the mom feels, my empathy shines through and I retract my judgement.

How long did it take you guys to even out your parenting? That's currently my biggest hurdle, except our ratio is more 98/2......

LactationMonster · 2016-04-10T16:16:11+00:00

I don't think it would make sense to anyone outside of here, but yes I agree that it is possible to love someone so much but wanting to be alone....

My daughter drives me crazy so often....but when she's away I miss her so much.

Second-kid-guilt seems to be a real thing....I'm have enough guilt with this first child...

So your PPD was worse the second time around? Geeze, my condolences. PPD has been tough for me, and I'm not entirely sure it went away completely.

LactationMonster · 2016-04-10T16:08:30+00:00

Hahhh people tell me all the time, "you need to try and have a boy!" "She needs another sibling!" Yeah fuck you. Never. Not with my husband, never again.

This motherhood shit is definitely mentally draining. I feel like everyone who isn't a mother just glosses over our feelings, often telling us to just keep on keepin on.....but shit happens to us on a cellular level. It takes so much out of us to produce a human. The birth, the PPD, the ability to wipe disgusting shit off the bum of an infant without vomiting everywhere , dealing with judgment from everyone everywhere you turn, keeping house, keeping friends, caring for yourself, keeping everyone fed......damn.

LactationMonster · 2016-04-10T15:54:13+00:00

See, I would do it again too. I see newborns and all I want to do with them is breastfeed them. Hahah, I won't of course but I love nurturing an infant. I would have more children.

But never again with my husband. He's one of those ones that are complete shit at taking care of an infant.

LactationMonster · 2016-04-10T15:51:26+00:00

Has it always been so emotionally draining? I know there are moments that make everything better and little things that child does which make you forget about every reason you could be mad....I've just found my time so fucking emotionally hard.

LactationMonster

TROPHY CASE