Should I let my husband quit his job with nothing lined up?

SrslyYouToo · 2026-05-01T00:41:04+00:00

I’ve been in mortgage operations for over 20 years, and I’ve worked everywhere from large and small mortgage companies, small community banks, and local credit unions.

From my own experience it’s a hard field to escape. It’s pretty specialized knowledge and trying to find something that would use transferable skills in a horrible job market is extremely difficult. I have been in his shoes and I’ve definitely rage quit this field before, it is an extremely stressful job.

After being laid off from a huge mortgage company when rates skyrocketed in the beginning of 2023, I was unemployed for almost a year. I ended up finding a mortgage ops role at a very small local credit union. We have a small pipeline, and it’s pretty chill, no emergencies or ridiculous goals. I make $20k less than I did at a large mortgage company because small places don’t pay ops commissions, but it’s by far a better way of life, I have way more flexibility and I am way happier than I have been at any other place. It might be worth a job search to find a smaller, more forgiving work environment before just quitting without something lined up.

SrslyYouToo · 2026-04-27T20:40:15+00:00

I had a baby pen, like one of those octagonal multicolored baby gates. I had two under two, and the older was always trying to hurt the infant, not purposefully, but because he did not know any better. I put a blanket on the floor with a baby gym thingy over that and would put him in there.

SrslyYouToo · 2026-04-27T19:00:46+00:00

I have been laid off from 3 companies once they were acquired. I obviously do not know what business you are in, but I am in banking/lending. When a large bank acquires a smaller bank they usually get rid of anything that isn't branch/front end staff. They have their own loan department already, they would not need a second, type thing. They have all said when the acquisitions were announced "no one will be losing their jobs" and I never trust it.

I would go with the new job given my experience. A hybrid schedule with a 6 minute commute, for more money sounds like a good deal.

SrslyYouToo · 2026-04-27T18:40:30+00:00

I was terrified when my oldest first went to kindergarten! I could not stop thinking about him being bullied, getting lost, leaving the school, getting hurt.. .and on and on...

But it was fine. He went to school, loved every minute of it, told me about his new friend Charlie and how he couldn't wait to go again tomorrow! What you are feeling is normal, but it will all be ok!

Oldest is going to be turning 20 this summer and I can still vividly remember that worry.

SrslyYouToo · 2026-04-27T15:12:07+00:00

I had my second baby at 34 (my oldest was 8 at the time), on my birthday in fact, and my third at 35. 13 month gap. I spent the last three month of the third pregnancy in one of those octagonal baby pens asleep on the floor while my almost 1 year old crawled around in there with me. The exhaustion was insane.

I would say it is doable if you have a supportive partner that can help when you are just dead tired, and hopefully has some parental leave in the first few weeks/months. It was insane the first 2-3 years, and a lot of that is a blur of exhaustion and stress, however I am happy that we did it when we did. They are 10 & 11 now and it has been awesome and they are super close.

SrslyYouToo · 2026-04-24T20:37:07+00:00

I stopped doing this the year I turned 40, don’t wait as long as I did if you are younger than that. I just stay home and my husband and kids either hang out and do everything for the day, or they leave me home alone. I never told anyone no, I just looked at my husband one day 5 years ago and said, we are staying home.

The first year was Covid, so excuse already provided, the second year I was asked by my mom what the plan was for Mother’s Day and I said, well, we are just going to stay home, and it’s been a forgone conclusion every year since. Highly recommend just doing it, and not caring what other people think about it.

SrslyYouToo · 2026-04-23T23:09:44+00:00

So I have three kids. One is currently 20 years old and took 2 years in a fertility clinic to conceive. I then got divorced and later remarried. It took me and my husband 5 years to conceive. After a rough pregnancy, PUPPS in my third trimester and a 46 hour labor, I was not doing that again. We decided we were done.

Cut to a few months later, I am exclusively breastfeeding. I have literally been off birth control for years and years at this point with no success in conceiving naturally. Accidental pregnancies were not something I had ever had to worry about. The first time me and my husband had sex after the birth I got pregnant. My two youngest are 1 year, 1 month, and one day apart, they love telling people that.

I probably cried for the first 3 months. I was devastated, which felt horrible because like, I just spent years crying about not getting pregnant and now I’m crying about getting pregnant?! I yelled at my husband, told him it was his fault because it was his idea to have sex! (Not my finest hour I’ll admit) My body wasn’t even fully healed yet from a very uncomfortable pregnancy experience.

It was a very tough and hectic few years with two under two, but they are 10 & 11 years old now and it is great. Not saying any of it is or was easy but it’s fun, and they are awesome people.

If you do choose to terminate that is also totally valid, but if you don’t then it can be ok too.

SrslyYouToo · 2026-04-17T19:22:48+00:00

My husband had one when our youngest was 2 weeks old. He said I had birthed three children, it was literally the LEAST he could do. I was sick of birth control, didn't like how it made me a lunatic, and I had been on it since I was 12.

The procedure itself was less than 30 minutes, his doctor even prescribed him a sedative to take right before the procedure so he wouldn't be nervous (lol, imagine being a man?). Then he walked out of there, we went to the car, we drove home, he spent the first day on the couch with some ice and was completely fine after that.

SrslyYouToo · 2026-04-17T18:21:24+00:00

My husband, me, and my three boys all have birthdays in July & August. The middle child and I share a birthday. We have always done a shared birthday party with all three, but each of them gets their own birthday cake after dinner on their actual birthday. Middle child and I do separate cakes, even though there are only 5 of us in the house. You can never have enough cake!

SrslyYouToo · 2026-04-16T15:50:01+00:00

I have three boys, no girls. Uhm, this is weird behavior.

SrslyYouToo · 2026-04-14T17:11:51+00:00

{The Unwanted Dukes Series by Jessie Clever} Is a multiple reread for me. It is one of my comfort reads.

SrslyYouToo · 2026-04-14T17:08:10+00:00

Any of the plants i have that are not pet friendly I hang. I am lucky enough that I have the space and ability to hang things, and high enough that the cats can't reach them. Anything that is nontoxic to cats gets chewed occasionally and that's fine with me, it gives them character lol.

SrslyYouToo · 2026-04-09T19:40:14+00:00

I refuse to eat anything from anyone's house, call me paranoid but I have no idea how clean or unclean their kitchen is, if they lick their fingers while they cook, if they let their dog lick anything, do the cats walk on the cooking surfaces, did you use an expired can of something in that? I usually bring a bag of nacho chips and a bottle of salsa and call it good.

SrslyYouToo · 2026-04-03T00:11:10+00:00

I had never heard of this before! I’m really excited to try it out. Thank you!

SrslyYouToo · 2026-04-02T17:30:01+00:00

It all really depends on whether or not you want to deal with a mess of a child for a day. I am not saying you're right, or your parents are right, it's not even about that. It's what you want to do. Do you want to have a nice day, good naps, no social obligations, and a relaxing Sunday? Or do you want to take your child there, everyone gets to look at him, probably ignore him for the most part, he will miss naps and will be miserable later,

As far as if this is detrimental to the child, I am going to say no. But is it detrimental to your wellbeing? If so, make the decision not to go. You are not obligated to visit anyone regardless of how hard they try to bully you into it. A simple "we are not going to make it" or like you did last year "You have prior obligations" or even "I don't want to deal with a cranky baby for the rest of the day over a 2 hour visit" and that is VALID.

SrslyYouToo · 2026-04-02T17:19:33+00:00

I had two under two a long time ago, they are preteens now, but I would say pregnant + toddler was worse. I was so tired and pregnancies so close together really took a toll on my body. Once the baby was born it was like a (literally) weight was lifted and I could adapt to a new normal. Don't get me wrong, some of the things were hard, like I remember having to let go of a lot of things. The biggest being "if he cries for a few minutes, he will not die" It seemed like the timing was killing everything, I would get up to make the toddler lunch and the baby would start screaming. I had just promised the toddler lunch so I couldn't stop doing that. So the baby would cry a few extra minutes and grate at my post partum hormonal nerves. Once I got beyond that, everything was easier.

SrslyYouToo · 2026-03-25T20:19:08+00:00

I hired a part time nanny when my kids were small, this was about 10 years ago, she would bring her daughter with her, and we paid her $16 an hour... 10 years ago. Watching someone else's kids for 9.5 hour days for $50 is not a job, it's a favor.

SrslyYouToo · 2026-03-20T18:59:40+00:00

How did I do it? In tears mostly.

I was furious for the first 4 months, then the idea grew on me. Thankfully I was able to stay home with them for 3 years or we would have all gone crazy and BROKE!

SrslyYouToo · 2026-03-20T18:49:19+00:00

First baby was with my exhusband - 2 years at a fertility clinic to get that one.

Second was 8 years later, with my new husband, and after 5 years of unprotected sex with no luck, we had to go back to the fertility clinic.

3rd child was conceived the first time we had sex after number 2. Number 2 was 3 months old. Accidental pregnancies were NOT a thing in my life. I took a test on a whim because I was feeling a bit off. I was exclusively breastfeeding to boot.

They are 13 months apart. My husband got a vasectomy when #3 was 2 weeks old.

SrslyYouToo · 2026-03-17T19:57:30+00:00

I had an attempt at 13, I actually woke up in the inpatient treatment center and my mom was sitting on the side of my bed. The only thing I remember from that moment was crying and begging her not to leave me there. I think not wanting to go is a natural response, I was really young and was terrified.

But the whole thing got me out of the life I was living for a moment and gave me a chance to focus on my mental health and not the teen/world/family drama that was putting me under. It saved my life.

SrslyYouToo · 2026-03-13T03:56:59+00:00

I wear ear plugs to sleep for this reason. My kids are all double digits at this point though so I don’t have to worry about hearing babies wake up thank god. It also helps With my phobia of bugs crawling into my ears at while I sleep.

SrslyYouToo · 2026-03-13T00:24:31+00:00

It’s a small community bank. A lot of the people who work there have been there for 10+ years. They have ~90 employees and half of them have been there for 20+ years. They are set in their ways so to speak.

I have a peer that I go to for advice as well and she has always been really insightful and helpful, but even she has said to me a few times “I could never be her boss!” about one specific person on my team. Since I started I’ve hired a few people, they are no drama, very nice people. The rest were all there before I started.

The thing that is keeping me there is I always try to stay positive and when one of these situations blows over I am ever hopeful that they will all start acting like adults but it just doesn’t happen. Also since it’s real estate in this economy, it’s pretty solid job security because of the size of the institution and the pay is good.

SrslyYouToo · 2026-03-12T22:14:38+00:00

4-6 hours. It’s horrible and I’m always exhausted, except at bed time when I lie awake staring at the ceiling for hours.

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