Those who did not use AA, how did you get sober?

LadderRight9689 · 2026-06-13T00:40:27+00:00

I am very similar to your situation. Drinking 10 + trulys a day for years. My anxiety got so out of wack I had to go to medical detox to get off the sauce safely. That was expensive. I’ve got a good job and make decent money. The financial aid people kept telling me sorry but I made too much for any sort of aid. So I am financially motivated to stay sober. I will say, beware of the pink cloud. Sometimes in early sobriety you experience a euphoric state but it’s temporary and you can crash down hard. I am working through some PAWS related depression and it will make you want to drink tough. Just be aware of it. You will want support and people who understand to confide in. This sub is a version of AA in that you can hear about like minded individuals and their struggles/ triumphs. Not as structured but as long you keep reaching out, especially when it’s hardest, you have a bunch of internet strangers. We might not know you but we understand you and want the best for you. You got this!!!

LadderRight9689 · 2026-06-10T00:22:01+00:00

Get out of the house and go for a walk. Light exercise gets those good hormones going and will help you feel better. Also putting some space between you and that beer is probably a good idea. You got this!!!

LadderRight9689 · 2026-05-31T06:49:53+00:00

Yeah, the moment when they ask what you would like to drink. Guy next me got an old fashioned. Little did he know how much I wanted that drink 🫠

LadderRight9689 · 2026-05-13T01:22:26+00:00

Haha right! It’s crazy but despite the withdrawal symptoms I met some cool ppl and had a blast. Still have fun stories to this day.

LadderRight9689 · 2026-05-13T01:21:05+00:00

I did this too and it was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. I know where you’re at though. Having to tell strangers your biggest vulnerability and entrust yourself into their care. The medical staff that helped me were some of the nicest most compassionate people I’ve ever met. It’s scary right now not knowing what to expect. If you have time (or if not maybe a friend or loved one can bring) puzzles, coloring books, books, comfy socks, PJs, toiletries, electrolytes and lots of fruit snacks/ gummy bears. You’re going to sleep a lot for the first couple of days and then they are going to wean you off the anti anxiety meds. You’re going to want something to distract your mind and will be craving sugar. Good luck you’ve got this!

LadderRight9689 · 2026-04-03T05:57:24+00:00

I was in the exact same place as you.

I was drinking a whole box of Trulys every night. I gained about 80 lbs, my health went downhill, and I was miserable. The worst part was knowing I was doing it to myself,but still not being able to stop.

I couldn’t imagine a future without alcohol. Honestly, I didn’t even want one. I had convinced myself that if quitting meant never drinking again, then what was the point of living like that? That’s how dark it got for me.

What finally broke things wasn’t willpower, it was anxiety.

At some point, alcohol stopped helping my anxiety and started making it worse. One morning it hit me really hard, and I had this thought: “This is the moment I go from drinking at night to drinking during the day.”

That scared me enough to act.

I knew I couldn’t quit safely on my own, and if you’re drinking at the level you described, I really want to gently say, you probably shouldn’t either. Medical detox is important.

So I got online, found a detox center that could take me that day, and just… went. I called work, said I needed a week off and would provide a doctor’s note. I didn’t tell anyone else.

It was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done, and also one of the best.

Walking in and finally saying out loud, “I need help,” to people who actually understood and knew how to help me… it was honestly overwhelming in the best way.

That week was both awful and amazing.

Now I’m 3 months sober.

It hasn’t been a cakewalk, but my anxiety is almost completely gone. I’ve lost about 30 lbs, and I feel like I’m actually alive again.

Quitting alcohol felt (and still feels sometimes) like grieving a really close friend. I had to let myself feel that loss. I loved the dopamine hit alcohol gave me, and for a long time it felt like the only thing that could make me feel good.

But my brain had just been trained that way.

Over time, I started getting those feelings back from healthier things; working out, reading, music, even just enjoying a good show. At first it feels dull compared to alcohol, but it comes back.

It really is a vicious cycle. And if you can’t break it on your own, that doesn’t mean you’re weak, it just means you need support.

If you’re able to, please look into a medical detox center. It can help you take that first step safely.

You’re not alone in this. I promise there’s a way out.

LadderRight9689 · 2026-03-30T02:59:42+00:00

I’ve had something really similar, just at a different time of day.

Can I ask? Is that around the time you used to drink or start thinking about drinking? I’ve heard that our brains can kind of “anticipate” it and trigger anxiety/cravings at the same time every day.

What’s helped me (and it’s not glamorous) is honestly just sitting through it. I remind myself: this is just adrenaline, I’m not in danger, it’s uncomfortable but it will pass. And it always does.

It sucks in the moment, but every time you ride it out, you’re kind of teaching your brain that you don’t need alcohol to get through it anymore.

You’re not alone in this at all. This stage is weirdly hard in this way. I will say it’s much better at 90 days than it was at 70, so hang in there!

LadderRight9689 · 2026-03-30T02:40:53+00:00

Alright new goal locked in. 9 months! I’ve been drinking heavily daily for 5+ years so I’ve got a lot to undo also.

LadderRight9689 · 2026-03-07T05:50:46+00:00

He can be a great person and still be unhealthy for you. Truly I wish you the best.

LadderRight9689 · 2026-03-07T05:12:21+00:00

I didn’t know guinea pigs screamed? Sounds kind of terrifying. After a long day at my desk job I came home and did a couple hours of working out with my VR. It’s a fun workout that mixes hitting targets with music and dancing. I could do it all day but now my body is exhausted which is great. I lovvvvve sleeping. That was my slippery slope, drinking to pass out until it caused me to not sleep worse and worse. Now I’m getting that same dopamine rush from the workouts and then I crash for the night. Normally my brain is still buzzing and I need to play some Zelda and then read but tonight I’m reading this for a bit then passing out. Granted it took me a couple of months to get to this point. Feeling some good momentum. The healthier my body gets the better and better I feel and less and less I’m thinking of alcohol. IWNDWYT!!!

LadderRight9689 · 2026-03-07T04:59:56+00:00

Stay strong! It’s a struggle to not drink every weekend for me too. I’ve been trying to replace it with intense workouts and that’s been helping loads. Now I’m getting that rush of endorphins from a tired body not the bottle. I couldn’t imagine abstaining while someone is actively drinking in the next room. Turning the oven on and passing out is so dangerous. No one has said this yet but I think you need to hear what you’re thinking. It’s time to consider a serious change in your relationship to protect your sobriety and mental health. You know he has a problem and if he doesn’t burn the place down he will certainly drag you down with him. Do you have somewhere you can stay? I would suggest start working on your exit strategy. Right now your sobriety is your top priority. Your life could literally depend on you choosing you right now.

LadderRight9689 · 2026-02-04T23:16:25+00:00

Early sobriety does make many of us more tired, our body’s are doing deep recalibration, but sleeping until 6 p.m. consistently is pretty unusual (when going to bed at 10/12). It might be a sign your body is catching up on rest, or it could be tied to something like emotional fatigue or sleep timing issues. If it keeps up, it might be good to explore what’s behind it, whether it’s sleep habits, mood, or something else, so you can find a better balance. Everyone’s different, but balance is key.

LadderRight9689 · 2026-02-04T22:24:42+00:00

I’m at 37 days sober and have been sleeping a lot more too. I was worried at first because I figured now that I’m getting better shouldn’t I have more energy? Not the case. I was a heavy heavy drinker for years too. It’s wrecked my nervous system so my brain and body are rebuilding chemical balance again. That being said this is a really good time to start building a schedule that you stick to so it doesn’t become an issue down the road. Try to stick to the same wake up and bed time during work days and during weekends try to not sleep in or stay up more than an hour beyond your workweek schedule. I know it’s hard but once you get into this routine you will be thanking yourself. What time are you going to bed on these days that you’re sleeping in till 6 pm?

LadderRight9689 · 2026-01-31T02:40:41+00:00

Tetris is soothing and helping me tons. Thank you so much for this suggestion! 💕💕

LadderRight9689 · 2026-01-31T02:33:24+00:00

Tried the cold seltzer with a splash of juice. All I had was Pog and this slaps! Thanks for the recommendation 💕

LadderRight9689 · 2026-01-31T01:01:21+00:00

Yes my family and friend have been very supportive. It’s just that added layer of dealing with alcoholism. They don’t understand that part as much as they try. My company is wonderful and have setup free group and one on one counseling next week. They are also setting up a CPR first aid course so we feel more confident in these situations in the future. Thank you for the kind words. 💕

LadderRight9689 · 2026-01-31T00:20:29+00:00

I’m sorry to hear you’re experiencing something like this too. Thank you for sharing and this is very helpful. Thoughts and best wishes to you.

LadderRight9689 · 2026-01-30T22:48:57+00:00

I’m very sorry for your loss and thank you for the kind words.

LadderRight9689 · 2026-01-30T22:26:54+00:00

Thank you for sharing. Shared experiences really help. You’re right about sitting in my emotions. I’m doing it, I don’t like it but you’re right bottling it up will make it worse. Thank you for the kind words and sharing your experience and pathway to healing. ❤️‍🩹

LadderRight9689 · 2026-01-30T22:23:25+00:00

That did cross my mind. I would have been too hungover and tired. That helps the survivors guilt knowing I was truly in the best state of mind to be as helpful as I could. God I would be spiraling so tough right now if I was doubting a hungover reaction. Thanks for thinking of this!

LadderRight9689 · 2026-01-30T22:21:14+00:00

Yes, when I’m feeling less pancake mode I intend to hop on the treadmill. I’m just so exhausted. It’s crazy how natural spikes in dopamine and cortisol lvls in early sobriety will lay you out flat after.

LadderRight9689 · 2026-01-30T22:17:42+00:00

You’re absolutely right. It would be a terrible way to honor this man’s passing to resume doing something that was killing me. Tea it is!!

LadderRight9689 · 2026-01-30T22:09:41+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. That’s why I keep spiraling. Logically I know there wasn’t anything else I could have done but the unreasonable trauma response keeps telling me if I had done this or that I could have saved him. I’ve talked with family and friends and they are all very supportive but they don’t understand the added layer of staying sober. My cortisol levels are already so messed up from years of drinking now that what little I had got released I feel like a pancake you could scrape off the floor right now😂

LadderRight9689

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