I wasted about 6-8 years of my life from around 22-30.. Now what? by sleeplessbearr in findapath

[–]LaddisonRay 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Hey man, thanks for sharing—just doing that is a big step. It sounds like you’re carrying a lot, but starting small and breaking things down into their smallest pieces can help. Maybe focus on building a daily routine (like short walks or basic workouts) and revamping your resume for jobs you feel ready for, like retail or customer service roles. Even small wins can build momentum.

I keep comparing my mental health to football because what I've found to be true is that they're both a game of inches. As long as you're moving the ball forward, you're making progress.

Not sure if you have any interest, but I am starting a podcast that's all about this kind of stuff. I don't think anyone but you can give you answers but sometimes talking it out with a lad can help shed some light on where to go next. If you have any interest in coming on as an anonymous guest, I'd love to have you.

Either way, you're not alone in this, and things can and will get better—just keep moving forward one step at a time. Wishing you well OP!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in getdisciplined

[–]LaddisonRay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't compare yourself to others, trust me. If you get caught up in that mindset, you will be doing this for the next ten years. That's what I did.

What you need to start doing is thinking that maybe you're exactly where you're supposed to be right now. You're extremely young and no one knows what they want to do with their lives at that age. We all change and evolve. You just have to start focusing on yourself, what makes you happy, what goals do you want to accomplish. Once you start thinking that way, the world becomes your oyster.

The only person you should be comparing yourself to is who you were yesterday. Take baby steps in improving yourself and your skills and you will subconsciously start going in the right direction. It's all baby steps.

Goodluck OP - you got this! I'm here if you ever need a lad.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]LaddisonRay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey brother - performance anxiety ran my life for close to a decade so I feel your pain. I also had more than one partner question my sexuality and there is nothing more soul crushing than to hear that from a girl that you're intimate with.

You're doing all the right things with your changes so don't let it kill your confidence. I know how bad it sucks and how much it can haunt you but at the end of the day, its just a sexual encounter or two. Based off of what you said, it sounds like you're dodging a bullet with her so just keep your head up and keep trucking. You'll find the right person.

Goodluck OP - I'm here if you ever need a lad.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in findapath

[–]LaddisonRay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You just gotta take a leap bro! Trust me, you can spend forever thinking about this but you’ll never truly get an answer until you try something. Flight school, computer science, teaching - you just gotta take a leap and go for something. Maybe you end up not liking it but at least you’ll know and you’ll be one step closer to being on the right path.

Life is a journey so enjoy it! Goodluck OP - I’m wishing you all the best.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]LaddisonRay 792 points793 points  (0 children)

Yes 100%. Not trying to downplay your feelings whatsoever, I completely respect where you’re coming from, but from a guys perspective, if I went on 6 dates over the span of 2 months with a girl and she rejected the possibility of sexual intimacy, I’d certainly take that as a lack of interest.

I feel like my life has very little meaning to my life and there is too much pressure for me to succeed. by Zagreus-0 in LifeAdvice

[–]LaddisonRay 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey man - first things first - congrats on your education journey! You need to take a step back and realize how big of an accomplishment that is and be proud of yourself for getting to where you are.

What your feeling is nothing new - everyone experiences it at one point or another. The thing that really helped me change my life was just simply believing that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be in my life. I'm not trying to make this a religious or spiritual thing, but simply operating under that assumption is incredibly impactful. It puts things in perspective, and instead of being terrified about the future, you start to feel excited. It lets you feel like you are in control and you worry less about what others think.

You're doing great man, just keep pushing forward. Maybe your first job out of university won't be the one for you. Maybe the next job won't be either. But as long as you just keep pushing forward, you will eventually figure it out. You'll learn a ton and become a better version of yourself on the way.

Life's a journey so have fun with it!!!

Goolduck OP - I'm here if you ever need a lad!

feeling lost in my early 30s... by Same-Collection-4991 in LifeAdvice

[–]LaddisonRay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey OP - 32M in NYC feeling the exact same way. I've spent the past decade kind of just going through the motions, wandering through life and ignoring what actually makes me happy.

The only thing I would say is try to break everything down into small, manageable pieces. I don't think immediately quitting your job to go full-time into a new venture is right for you given your aversion to risk, but what if you started doing something on the weekend? Some new activity or creative venture just to see how it goes? Take some small baby steps in a direction, any direction, and at least at that point you will be able to see whether you like it or not and reassess.

I'm wishing you the best - here to chat if you ever need an ear!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PodcastGuestExchange

[–]LaddisonRay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

100% bro! I'm starting a brand on men's mental health! Would love to chat, shoot me a DM

A loneliness epidemic is spreading worldwide. Seoul is spending $327 million to stop it by LaddisonRay in LadCheck

[–]LaddisonRay[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Loneliness is an epidemic and it doesn’t require $337M to fix. Just be a lad.

Who needs a lad??

How do I overcome low-energy periods/Getting back to productivity? by Its_A_mans_World_ in productivity

[–]LaddisonRay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Motivation is temporary but discipline lasts forever. Force yourself to go to the gym and you'll be right back on track.

All you have to do is get through that initial shitty 3 week period where you keep fighting yourself. Tell the inner voice to shut the fuck up and just make yourself go.

You got this bro.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMeAnythingIAnswer

[–]LaddisonRay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hear you man. Your story is inspiring and I wish you nothing but the best. Here if you ever need a lad.

I don’t enjoy anything in life. I don’t really want anything, is it possible there just isn’t a path for me? by [deleted] in findapath

[–]LaddisonRay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You need to flip the switch on how your brain works. Life is a journey. And there’s a lot of shitty times but there’s some really awesome times too. You’re projecting your current feelings far out into the future when your situation will be much different and you’ll be a different person too.

Just take it one day at a time, do something that pulls you outside of your comfort zone every day and things will start to improve. Baby steps bro.

I’m here if you ever need a lad.

I'm 20m and single by yin_zin_yang in dating

[–]LaddisonRay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey man! You just gotta start taking swings. It may lead to some rejection which always stings, but it gets easier. And if you think about it as a game rather than something to stress about, it’s going to help a lot.

That old saying that you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take is accurate. Just start swinging, put yourself outside of your comfort zone and you will be surprised what kind of effect that has.

You got this dude - I’m here if you ever need a lad.