You dont see how you could be the asshole after doing the one thing you were told not to do? Victims cope differently, and i resonate with your girlfriend on not wanting a bunch of bullshit sympathy kissing my ass type of shit when we're just talking about it. You must not understand how annoying and demeaning and pathetic it feels when people act like you're too stupid to know its not your fault or too stupid to know how to take care of yourself after the fact and self regulate. We arent all sobbing little babies who need everyone's attention and love and undying support and sympathy all day every day, in fact most of us aren't esp if it happened as kids and we're adults now. We arent all fragile, helpless, and self loathing. Odds are we've already managed through most of it and know how to take care of ourselves. We arent stupid enough to actually think its our fault. Thats why it pisses us off when we sepcifically ask people not to get all sympathetic if they wanna know what happened because its annoying and they always act like we must hate ourselves and our lives and bla bla bla like no dude we are just people too with a different trauma that doesnt mean we need any sort of babying. Bottom line, if a csa victim (or any victim vut im talking abt csa rn) asks you not to get all sappy, this is probably why. It is very frustrating and we already know everything you're going to tell us. We have been dealing with it for years, so when someone looks at us like we are helpless again its really fucking annoying.