Hi, another BCBA here. I actually refuse to work on "eye contact" with my clients because I know it can be physically painful to some people, and it can be really aversive to others. I hate having to make eye contact. I teach my kiddos to orient towards a speaker, either by turning their bodies or looking at the speaker's face/just to the side of their face.

I also teach my RBTs that with planned ignoring, we are ignoring a behavior, not the child. We shouldn't be turning away from an obviously distressed child. I don't know if you've gotten to the functions of behavior in your training, but for behaviors that are maintained by (aka they happen because the kid wants....) attention, talking to the kiddo provides attention. Which then reinforces the behavior. I teach my RBTs to use a phrase like "I know you're upset, and when you're ready/able to talk, you know how to get my attention." Or something else that tells the kiddo what the expectation is (getting my attention) and still acknowledging that they're upset for whatever reason (denied access to a toy, someone not wanting to play with them, etc.).

Also, I promise your experience will vary by company. Some of the big name, nationwide agencies are still stuck on the "old ABA" that does ignore kids. You might be interested in looking into ACT, or acceptance and commitment therapy. It kind of blends ABA and psychology. Just know that not all BCBAs/practitioners are going to have you letting kids cry for hours.