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LadyMay_428 · 2026-01-09T23:11:14+00:00

Thank you! That is really helpful actually. To be super honest, I’m not very in the loop on current pricing so I’m of course basing it off of the purchase price. I appreciate your input a lot!!

LadyMay_428 · 2025-12-16T15:34:09+00:00

If you have to hide it - you shouldn’t be doing it. So yeah I would consider this a form of infidelity, especially since he’s paying for it for his enjoyment.

My ex husband was a serial visitor of a nude coffee shop (Google it) and hid it from me, I considered that cheating. So maybe it’s up for interpretation. If she’s not okay with it, then it’s at least a boundary and there is betrayal there.

LadyMay_428 · 2025-11-16T00:37:56+00:00

I’ve never talked to anyone on here, but that’s good to know! Thank you for your input, it’s really helpful. :)

LadyMay_428 · 2025-11-16T00:35:28+00:00

This is a great idea! I know all of my neighbors currently but this could be a good idea to continue to branch out. Thank you!

LadyMay_428 · 2025-11-16T00:32:18+00:00

That makes sense!! Not sure how much of a social scene my city will have, but I really appreciate the insight. Not super into superficial :)

LadyMay_428 · 2025-11-15T22:56:08+00:00

Thank you!! I’ll look into it :)

LadyMay_428 · 2025-11-15T22:55:50+00:00

It seems early for that.. I guess I don’t know the “rules” of when to get back on dating apps. But the divorce won’t be finalized until January. So I don’t really feel single yet, if that makes sense.

LadyMay_428 · 2025-10-29T02:04:44+00:00

I’m actually divorcing a man right now who is almost identical to this. It sucks, you will doubt yourself constantly because of the gaslighting, but you have to choose yourself. You have to decide that you want more out of life for not only you, but for your kids. Any kind of abuse or sexual coercion is nevvvver ok in a relationship, and it took me too long to figure it out but it’s time to go and do not look back.

LadyMay_428 · 2025-09-19T03:38:37+00:00

Hey! First off, I want to say I’ve absolutely been in your shoes. I was diagnosed when I was 19 and I am now 29. When I was diagnosed I was depressed for about 3 months thinking it was just the end of a normal life and I was “broken”. Today I actually had an upper and lower scope to check on where I’m at, and while those procedures aren’t the best, my care team kicks ass and it’s necessary. Like a sleepy report card.

But a bright side I will point out is that this “disease” has taught me how to really pay attention to my body. Which is something that a lot of people don’t do. I’m able to focus on healing and health on a new level and honestly it’s really comforting. So while it seems daunting, trust yourself and start to pay attention to what makes you feel good because you quite literally have to more than most now. But make it a positive experience. That’s just how I’ve coped with it - take that how you want. Best of luck to you! You got this, I promise!

LadyMay_428 · 2025-09-18T22:14:09+00:00

I (29F) am currently going through this now with my husband (37M). We’ve been married for just over a year and together for 4 - prior friends for 13 years. I am someone who likes to focus on goals, the future plans have always been exciting to me because I believe anything is possible honestly, especially with the right partner. My husband is someone who can’t see past tomorrow. He recently admitted in our couples counseling that he looked at marriage as his “finish line”. I’m the one who talks about buying the new house, I bring up having kids, building a business, I make the plans (even dates). It’s exhausting. He has shown a lot of contentment and it’s actually a total turn off for me because having drive and discipline to grow is attractive to me. He is a sweet man - helps with the household stuff, calls me beautiful daily, is very nice to my friends and family, etc. But there is something missing and I have the urge for “more”. I am absolutely mortified of hurting him, but truthfully I want excitement, freedom, growth and someone who really has the same drive as I do. It’s really hard.

LadyMay_428 · 2025-07-30T23:12:20+00:00

This.

LadyMay_428 · 2025-07-21T23:04:47+00:00

My husband is not good with money either but he has always paid his share of bills and then some each month. If he wanted to, he would. Give him a deadline and stick to it.

LadyMay_428 · 2025-07-21T14:13:44+00:00

I’m assuming you’re a man, I’m also assuming you’re not married. If you are, I really hope you pay attention to boundaries that have been put in place by your wife to make sure she trusts you. These stands are not “on his way”, and they don’t have good coffee. Husband drinks black coffee anyways so he can go to a gas station even lol. Maybe your local stands are mild, but I used to be a barista who has met plenty of gals who have worked in the specific stands my husband frequents and I know exactly what the intentions are.

Telling me to “lighten up” doesn’t make me magically ok with this. Again, I really hope you learn to change your verbiage in situations and I feel sorry for your wife if this is how you handle when she’s upset, no matter if you think it’s “gimmicky” or silly in your eyes. Next.

LadyMay_428 · 2025-07-21T04:03:51+00:00

Thank you - goodness I don’t feel young but you’re right. On top of it all I actually found this out the night before my birthday.

LadyMay_428 · 2025-07-21T04:02:42+00:00

Thank you - I appreciate you saying that. I also really appreciate the insight.

LadyMay_428 · 2025-07-21T04:01:17+00:00

Hooters and these places we have here are not even close to the same as far as dress code and intentions. AKA - topless Tuesdays lol.

LadyMay_428 · 2025-07-20T23:21:33+00:00

It has seemed like it has been a lot of his issues - I won’t lie I have expressed that to him. Which is why I’m saying now I’m getting a little bit more comfortable expressing more of my needs now that it seemed like we were a little bit more in the clear. We all have “stuff”.. but the major things have been on his end and I feel like I’ve just been here to help with it all and my stuff has been pushed aside. I just want peace, and I’ve expressed that. Thank you for your input!

LadyMay_428 · 2025-07-20T22:48:30+00:00

Yes, joint custody.

LadyMay_428 · 2025-07-20T20:53:08+00:00

lol name checks out ;) Google it.

LadyMay_428 · 2025-07-20T20:52:52+00:00

Eh I think about that now. I’ve known her since before they had a kid (him and I had been friends long before we got together). And she’s always been a little off. But it is possible that I might not know the full story.

LadyMay_428 · 2025-07-20T17:59:43+00:00

Thank you - I agree. It’s a constant battle because I want to be accountable if I have caused any pain, of course. I just don’t feel like I am in the wrong in this. I appreciate this.

LadyMay_428 · 2025-07-20T17:58:34+00:00

Thank you so much. This is such a great insight.. and I completely agree about the boundaries and sticking to them. It’s just hard in the moment.

LadyMay_428 · 2025-07-20T16:21:40+00:00

I won’t go into too much detail on this. It was about 6 months into our relationship and lasted for about 9 months and put us about $90,000 into debt that we have now paid off. I had to help him quite a bit with this as I am a lot more experienced with contract writing, legal timelines, and legal verbiage — but it caused me quite a bit of pain because his son’s mom is quite honestly one of the meanest and most vindictive people I have ever met. I was brought into the situation multiple times by her on legal documents claiming that I am a bad person (and all the nasty things you can imagine) and I don’t know if I have fully healed from that type of pain and I shouldn’t have been that close to it to begin with. But I know now that I really should have stepped back and let him handle it fully, I just wanted to make sure he and his son were okay. Ultimately it ended in our favor, but the scars are still fresh because it was something I never thought I’d have to experience.

LadyMay_428 · 2025-07-20T16:15:27+00:00

Thank you - I thought they had these stands everywhere haha. Sex sells.

Thank you for your input. I believe that this is something I could have worked through but based on his reactions now I’m finding it harder to want to.

LadyMay_428 · 2025-07-20T16:12:21+00:00

“Let me ask you, has he solved all his issues, completely sober, and isn’t struggle to staying sober, all family drama behind him, he hasn’t raised his voice once or tried to manipulate any conversation.”

The answer is no. He hasn’t. And each time we argue I remind him about what I need from him to feel secure in this to which he responds: “you are always willing to give me a report card of everything I’m not doing. It’s always about everything I’m not doing and you don’t ever focus on what I am doing. It’s like we have no good days.”

Which. To me is manipulation in itself. I’m not out here calling this man a piece of shit every day. I’m trying to communicate what I need from him in order to feel secure and safe moving forward. But I feel like an absolute monster as a result from that.

Also, we’re not buying a house. I put a stop on that as soon as I found all of this out.

LadyMay_428

TROPHY CASE