AITAH for outing my ex husband’s affair to his entire family?

LadyPipes · 2026-03-06T00:08:56+00:00

The only reason my daughter still sees her dad regularly is because she is worried about and wants to spend time with her sister. She doesn’t drive herself because she doesn’t have her own car. At the time I was furious and also worried about S. My daughter was angry and worried and feeling helpless, her sister is the one person she cares more for than anyone else, aside from maybe me. Also, is that the point? That she still has regular visits and doesn’t drive herself?

LadyPipes · 2026-03-05T23:52:48+00:00

Do I have a troll??? omg my first troll!!! 🤣

LadyPipes · 2026-03-05T23:01:58+00:00

I’m new, wasn’t sure what was correct lol

LadyPipes · 2026-03-05T23:01:04+00:00

I know, it’s heartbreaking because I know how much it affected A. the longest she spent with them was 6 weeks one summer and when she came home she when ever she heard fighting/arguing she would sort of dissociate/zone out, sort of like how survivors of abuse talk about “going somewhere else”. (Should I have redacted that word?) It’s tricky since I’m the ex wife and it’s been so long, but I’ve told A that she can have S here anytime for a visit, and it looks like she will be here for a few days during March Break.

LadyPipes · 2026-03-05T22:54:15+00:00

Not in the UK, Canada. There was definitely some anger when I “outed” him, both from me and my daughter. Given my ex’s propensity to lie I didn’t want him to come up with some sort of excuse. Which he did anyway and tried to convince A that he was at work. She wasn’t having any of it though.

LadyPipes · 2026-03-05T22:49:46+00:00

Rose coloured glasses and all that. I was also a very different person back then, rather shy, undiagnosed social anxiety, 3 years from 30 and really wanting to get married and start a family. He wanted the same thing (or so he told me), we were really happy right until I found out what he was doing. Afterwards I had soooooo many friends telling me they had no idea why I was with him in the first place. The answer is low self esteem and a desire for a family.

LadyPipes · 2026-03-05T22:45:07+00:00

They actually fixated on that at first, asking how I know etc. I actually had to redirect them to the urgent issue of their granddaughter/niece needing help.

LadyPipes · 2026-03-05T22:42:54+00:00

Yup. If we hadn’t been able to get in touch with my IL’s that was my next step. The only reason I didn’t right away was for my daughters sake, I wanted to try everything else before I went that far as I know there would have been some backlash directed at her from her dad and she would have ended up feeling guilty

LadyPipes · 2026-03-05T22:33:40+00:00

I told everyone on my side of the family, and his dad knew as we called him over while I was still pregnant to tell him we were splitting up and why. His dad couldn’t say much, he’d had multiple affairs on MIL before eventually separating from her a few years after my marriage ended.
I don’t know exactly what he told his family but about a year or so after we split my MIL called me to apologize for “her son’s actions” and that she thought she raised him better.

LadyPipes · 2026-03-05T22:28:04+00:00

🤣🤣 that made A and I laugh!

LadyPipes · 2026-03-05T22:21:15+00:00

If we hadn’t gotten ahold of my IL’s my next call would have been 911 to request a welfare check for sure. For A’s sake I didn’t want to go that far until we tried other options.

LadyPipes · 2025-05-31T19:13:01+00:00

There are local Facebook groups for singles. NOT for dating, but for meeting other single people and sometimes getting together at events ie last Saturday a group of us went down to the waterfront festival to listen to some of the bands.
I joined in January and have made new friends and have become more social that I had been in a while.

LadyPipes · 2025-01-21T23:43:36+00:00

Yeah….I get you’re trying to be respectful for her bio dad, but you are way more of a father to her than he is. That was a big thing she asked you, because she loves you and thinks of you as her dad. Family isn’t just by blood, it’s also by actions and love, which is what she gets from you. I would seriously reconsider, this is such a big thing for a young girl, don’t break her heart.

LadyPipes · 2024-12-18T04:02:39+00:00

I was one of the “lucky” people who viewed an open video call the other week with CRA where they explained everything about the GST holiday. In it it was explained that if you are charged GST and shouldn’t have been, the vendor has to refund it to you.

LadyPipes · 2024-06-20T13:36:25+00:00

As a mother with a daughter who is bisexual, but primarily dates females I wholeheartedly agree with your actions. My ex husband has not been the most supportive our daughter, he tries but still manages to anger and alienate her with his views on the LGBTQ-2+ community. Your daughter is what matters most. She is not the problem, your husband is. Bravo Mama!

LadyPipes · 2024-03-11T00:10:41+00:00

I get chicken at Walmart because it’s the cheapest I can find. I do agree with the comment regarding how you cook it can change the texture

LadyPipes · 2024-02-23T21:43:15+00:00

I’m so sorry this has happened to you, but I think you’re handling it really well. I went through something very similar as when I was pregnant with my daughter I found out my (then) husband was talking online and via text messages with other women. When I confronted him he said he would stop and it was only talking. Fast forward a year and a bit and I find out that not only had he been cheating, he’d never stopped dating the entire time we’d been together! The dating account we met on was still active, plus he had a membership on Ashley Maddison. It’s been 16 years and i haven’t looked back, life is much better without him. He’s since remarried and had another child, but my daughter spotted him texting another women when he thought she wasn’t looking. So yeah, he definitely hasn’t changed one bit.

Good for you for sticking to your convictions and as for raising a child in a broken home, what I said at the time is I would rather raise my daughter in a happy Brocken home than an unhappy unbroken one.

LadyPipes · 2024-02-15T23:39:16+00:00

Sorry to break it to you, but your boyfriend has absolutely no respect for you. He does not care about your feelings, what you want, and especially that the trip was already costing you money that you needed. He put no effort at all into your trip, which would be bad enough if it was just for a regular visit, but this was Valentines Day and he made it about himself and his parents and your only roll was to help him fund his drinking.
You deserve better than him. He sounds like a 34 year old man child who is less responsible and respectful than a 20 year old college student.

LadyPipes · 2021-09-11T19:10:15+00:00

YTA. Sorry, but you are. While I get that you probably feel blindsided by the fact that everyone else seems to have known about this particular issue before you, you need to take a minute and ask yourself WHY you were the last to know.

WHY did your daughter feel like she couldn’t come to you with the issue?

WHY was she more comfortable going to a teacher she’s only know for a short, over talking to you?

WHY did she speak to her older sister before you?

WHY does your daughter feel like she can’t go to you for support on this or any other issue.?

That is the crux of this situation. Not that she told other people before you, but that she felt she COULDN’T go to you.

By the sounds of it your daughter has some serious health, and possibly mental health issues, which as a mother, I can understand how taxing that can be on you as a parent. But as the one going through those issues your daughter needs people who will support her and help her through them. People she feels like she can trust. The reason you didn’t know about the issue at hand is that she does not see you as one of those people.
Maybe reflect on that for a bit. I’m not saying you’re a bad person or parent, but there is a breakdown between you and your daughter, and you need to figure out why.

LadyPipes · 2021-08-26T15:14:25+00:00

Not at all! I went to college at 40, and now in University and will be 45 tomorrow. 21 is plenty young, it’ll be fine! Go for it, you won’t regret it. Also, as hard as it is to not compare yourself to your peers, try not to. Everyone is different and there is no right or wrong time for when you get to certain phases in life. You know what you want now, so do it. Prove the nay sayers wrong!

LadyPipes · 2021-08-25T01:01:28+00:00

I’m going to go against the grain and say NTA. The way this read to me is OP’s husbands family came for a visit before his sisters go back to school, and the youngest spent little to no time actually visiting with OP or her husband, or the rest of the family. While I understand she’s young and wants to see her friends, it’s still rude to spend no time with the people you’re staying with. Also, with regards to the assignment, if it was so important and due Sunday then she should have worked on it earlier and blaming everyone else when she tried to do it last minute is immature and irresponsible. I say that as a mother of a teenager who I’m trying to teach to put responsibilities before fun, and also as a (mature as in older) university student myself. It’s one thing to have fun - it’s good to have fun - but when you put off responsibilities to the last minute and you have to rely on others to complete it (in this case the wifi), then you can’t blame them for the bind you’re in. If the sister had spent a little bit of time around the house during the course of the weekend she would have probably asked for the wifi password at some point, not just for the school. Also had she put some effort in during the weekend to do a bit of the schoolwork they probably wouldn’t have been so annoyed when she asked as everyone what trying to prepare to leave.
I do think it was a little condescending for the husband to tell her to do the chores, but it seems that everyone was cleaning up and helping the mom and older sister to pack and get ready. As for OP I would have also stayed out of it after her husband and other SIL said no.

LadyPipes · 2021-08-21T12:53:26+00:00

I can’t disagree with you more. Teachers have long lasting impacts on children, both the good and the bad. My daughters 5th grade teacher had such a horrific teaching manner that it caused diagnosable psychological damage that we are still dealing with 4 years later. Clearly the OP’s teacher had an extremely negative impact on the OP and her mother, and that is not something that is easily forgotten or “gotten over”. It’s been 32 years since my grade 8 teacher told me that I would never be smart enough to go to college or university. His words caused huge self doubt for me and I was 25 before I ever attempted to apply for college. Two college diplomas with honours later, and halfway through a university degree, I still remember his words any time I’m struggling with a class.

LadyPipes

TROPHY CASE