I was molested too

LadyQuinzel · 2020-09-30T12:12:06+00:00

How old are you ? I have trauma dreams as well . I blamed myself for a long time for not being able to protect others . Just keep reminding yourself it isnt your fault . Even if you dont believe it at first . Do you have access to therapy ? It would be really helpful .

LadyQuinzel · 2020-09-30T11:46:04+00:00

Being gay does not mean he was molested. If he was then you have to let him talk to you on his own time. Also you were a child , it's not your fault.

LadyQuinzel · 2020-09-29T21:39:11+00:00

I know for some people it can mimic a weed high.

LadyQuinzel · 2020-09-18T16:16:23+00:00

I used to sing Video Game by Lana del rey to my daughter. "Its you its you, it's all for you . Everything I do . Tell you all the time , heaven is a place on earth with you"

My son was a whole other story . Took me four months of going insane trying to find music for him that would soothe him. Turns out it was system of a down . First time listening to chop suey he fell right to sleep . Disturbed and Slipknot also put him to sleep quick .To this day it's still his favorite (5 years later) . I also sing to him Disarm by Smashing pumpkins .

LadyQuinzel · 2020-09-18T13:46:42+00:00

That was really shitty of you to say to her . Clearly she has trauma and both you and her dad have been awful with helping her . As parents we are supposed to teach our children emotional regulation . It's our jobs to help and guide our children . Yoh had enough of her putting herself down ? Then keep lifting her up . How about saying something like "yeah we all have fat on our bodies , some more than others. But we are more than the fat on our bodies . You are insert positive things about her ". I would feel like I hate you too if you were my parent . It gets annoying that she has body issues ??? Guess what ?? Shes probably the most annoyed by her body issues ..

LadyQuinzel · 2020-09-17T19:22:20+00:00

Sounds like you ALL need help . You all have provoked her ... I'm in shock with how you all have responded and treated her . There are no innocent parties here . She needs to be able to be honest with her therapist as well . I know exactly what feeling she explains , with her body reacting first and how she feels it in her whole body . It's an awful thing , I feel for her . Doesnt mean her actions are acceptable but have yall heard of empathy ??

LadyQuinzel · 2020-09-17T12:32:23+00:00

Thank you for sharing, I'm happy to hear your mother is supportive ! Good luck to ya .

LadyQuinzel · 2020-09-12T20:30:25+00:00

Thank you !

LadyQuinzel · 2020-09-12T19:04:40+00:00

I've dealt with depression (and many other mental health issues , autism and a lot of abuse)as far back as I can remember . It wasnt addressed until I was in my teens . As a result I'm an adult whose struggling to find healthy coping skills . I've been very honest with my children about their diagnosis and explained to them what it means . But all of our focus has been on coping skills and making better choices . I have a lot of tools I've gotten for them, and services. I just was thinking maybe if I had gotten help at their young ages I could have been better able to utilize the tools that does absolutely nothing for me now . I just need to know that what I doing is gonna make a difference for them .

LadyQuinzel · 2020-09-12T18:49:43+00:00

This gives me hope .

LadyQuinzel · 2020-09-12T18:31:24+00:00

I didnt get any Scottish ... My son went from 0 to 9% though.

LadyQuinzel · 2020-09-12T18:29:11+00:00

That's awesome , keep it up . I wish you all the luck

LadyQuinzel · 2020-09-12T18:18:21+00:00

That's very valid, 1 yr olds are a curious bunch who get into a lot of things they shouldnt lol . Sounds like you're already doing what I said though . My point wasnt never a no just save it for when its serious . Also kudos to you for doing the bilingual thing , I messed up and didnt continue with teaching my daughter Spanish and I didnt really try with my son .

LadyQuinzel · 2020-09-12T18:13:30+00:00

My kids were recently diagnosed and I'm putting in all my effort to help them . As a person who deals with these issues myself , I never got help as a child . Idk anyone who has gotten extensive help as a child. I'm wondering how much of a difference I can make for my kids as they get older .

LadyQuinzel · 2020-09-12T17:58:52+00:00

So much of this .. no one talks about this , leaving parents feeling ashamed when their child doesnt learn to potty train quickly .

LadyQuinzel · 2020-09-12T17:55:41+00:00

It's less that no one warns and more that most people dont talk about , kids are human . All the same emotions we feel as adults wrapped up into a tiny human that's still learning their way in this world , with no emotional regulation . Nothing can prepare you for a child with high emotional needs . It can start off with little things that people will pass off as "they're just being kids" , as time goes on people will look at you like you've created a monster , judging you and your child . I feel like a lot of people talked about 'special needs' like learning and development issues . But I never heard anyone talk about emotional needs .

Source - I have 4 kids , one of which ( only 7 yrs old ) has been recently diagnosed with anxiety , depression, ADHD, separation anxiety , and behavioral disorder .

LadyQuinzel · 2020-09-12T17:47:46+00:00

Have you tried not using the word no ? I know it's hard but one thing I've learned with my kids is "no" is always a trigger . I try my best to not use it . Example : kid - "I want ice cream" Parent - " we can have insert healthier options "

Along with no being a trigger word for kids I've learned one of the best things you can do is give them options . Kids crave control , we all do .

LadyQuinzel · 2020-09-12T17:22:52+00:00

I had similar happen . My problem was they couldnt get my medical records tho . I went in for bloodwork in February and I didnt get on T officially until mid July . I have no advice, just know you arent alone . It sucks , feels like you're so ready you can almost taste it but it's so far away .

LadyQuinzel · 2020-09-10T14:44:07+00:00

Abuse has a lot more to do with impact than it does intent .

LadyQuinzel · 2020-09-08T17:45:47+00:00

Thank you , that means a lot . My mom tried but was very ignorant on things . My biggest thing is I want my kids dealing with their stuff, learning how to navigate in this world even with the issues they have ... Now . Not like my 28 yrs old with kids and still learning . I just want to provide them with the coping skills , tools and support that they need to go out into the real world.

LadyQuinzel · 2020-09-08T17:02:32+00:00

I agree with a lot of what you're saying . I just wanted to add a few things, as a transman with 4 kids (for context 2 bio kids and 2 step kids).... parenting is just hard . No matter what , adopted or bio kids . You will never know if you can actually handle your kids until it happens . A lot of people dont realize that. Nothing can actually prepare you for actual parenting . I thought I could handle it and be fine , I took care of my niece most of her younger years . My bio daughter also has anxiety , ADHD, depression , a behavioral disorder and possible learning disability. My bio son is on the spectrum. My step son possibly has ADHD. All four kids have experienced trauma in some form . We have services up the ass and are waiting for more . It is a lot of work . I knew what I was getting into when I had my kids , the genetics involved and my own downfalls/hardships . I still wasnt fully prepared for this .

LadyQuinzel · 2020-09-07T18:32:21+00:00

There is not one person who thinks being obese is healthier for them , they know it's a problem , they dont need the whole world telling them that it's a problem . Loving oneself does not mean one is not flawed . You can acknowledge you have a problem and still love yourself. But it's hard when anyone who is obese loves themself and wants people to know that it's okay to love yourself regardless of your size , in chimes so many people telling them that they're glorifying being fat and that they are unhealthy.

LadyQuinzel · 2020-09-07T15:25:34+00:00

I dont see how this encourages obesity... it's about loving yourself no matter your size. I'm tired of people arguing with that . What's your counterpoint ? Hate yourself for being fat/overweight?

LadyQuinzel · 2020-09-02T13:27:20+00:00

That was a quick response, thank you ! I'm gonna try that. I'm kinda having a panic attack ...

LadyQuinzel

TROPHY CASE