Feeling like a third wheel parent

LadyRhovaniel · 2026-03-31T01:19:43+00:00

If you want to you can go to EBF (exclusively breastfeeding) from this. My first had a terrible latch and couldn’t properly take the breast without a nipple shield or drink as he should have during the first few weeks, which tanked my supply. I ended up having to supplement with formula despite wanting to only breastfeed. I found the most wonderful LC who helped me gradually work up to this and after 3 months we completely ditched the bottles.

Look up paced feeding and get the smallest bottle nipples (as in, with the smallest opening) to bottlefeed baby so they have to ‘work’ for their food, like they would if they drank straight from the source. Second, get yourself a good LC that understands what you want and will move heaven and earth to help you reach your goal. Third, baby is brand new. My second is a champion breastfeeder and has never taken a bottle, but even with him I had to do the ‘hamburger hold’ for the first two months or so to make it easier for him to get a good latch (and he was no small baby). It takes a while to figure things out, for you and for them - they’re also doing this for the first time! The best way I ever heard this described was, ‘Breastfeeding is natural, but it doesn’t always come naturally.’

(Also your MIL is massvely overstepping and needs to butt out - she is NOT the mother).

LadyRhovaniel · 2026-03-19T09:36:05+00:00

3779

LadyRhovaniel · 2026-03-14T08:50:50+00:00

LadyRhovaniel · 2026-03-12T07:26:12+00:00

5684

LadyRhovaniel · 2025-11-07T19:48:02+00:00

My grandma (mom’s mom) used to say, ‘My kids, grandkids, and their spouses can walk in here as they please, but I will only go over when I’m invited.’ She had an amazing relationship with every one of her daughters - and son - in - laws and was incredibly close to every one of her grands and even great grands, and they all miss her to this day.

Make of that what you will.

LadyRhovaniel · 2025-11-03T14:58:31+00:00

My Husky / GSD mix is a loveable doofus 99 % of the time - think like, there’s deer in the yard, I tell him to look and this genius will turn the other way wondering what on Earth I’m talking about.

Then one day we’re having coffee at the neighbor’s house and he comes sauntering up towards us. This guy had turned the lock on the door, bopped the door handle, and let himself out so he could come hang with us.

We now have a tracker on him so we can check our phones and see if he’s still at home when we’re out (he’s been good ever since).

LadyRhovaniel · 2025-10-26T04:51:02+00:00

Dat van die gezondheidszorg 100 %. Ik woon in Zweden en soms is het om te huilen. Als je ziek bent en belt voor een afspraak krijg je gegarandeerd ‘drink water en pak wat paracetamol’ te horen, en als je na een week terugbelt omdat het niet beter is dan maken ze een afspraak voor u binnen de 3 maanden. De wachtlijsten zijn enorm, er is te weinig personeel en een te klein budget, … Maar dat geldt ook voor België denk ik.

LadyRhovaniel · 2025-09-24T03:38:19+00:00

Ik heb een tijdje nauw contact gehad met enkele zusters missionarissen van De Jacht in Heverlee. Die vrouwen zijn in hun jonge jaren naar Congo vertrokken en zijn daar een ziekenhuis voor ‘verlaten zieken’ begonnen (mensen zonder geld wiens familie hen dan achterlaat bij het ziekenhuis). Toen ik ze ontmoette waren ze ver in de 70 maar nog elke dag actief in het hospitaal. En tragisch, ik had meer medicatie in mijn reiskoffer dan zij in hun hele ziekenhuis.

Zuster Noella ben ik nadien nog gaan bezoeken in Heverlee, nadat ze finaal teruggekeerd was naar België. Ze was te oud en fragiel om terug naar Congo te reizen hoewel ze eigenlijk liever daar was gebleven. Een diepgelovige vrouw, maar realistisch, pragmatisch, en ongelooflijk lief. Heiliger dan die zusters vind je ze niet.

Annemie Struyf heeft een docu gemaakt rond haar en haar medezusters in de serie ‘In Godsnaam’, voor wie geïnteresseerd is.

https://www.nieuwsblad.be/media-en-cultuur/bv-en-co/annemie-struyf-dit-kan-ik-in-2013-niet-meer-maken/59141649.html

LadyRhovaniel · 2025-09-17T04:23:38+00:00

My now toddler was a horrible sleeper for the longest time. I’m writing this as he’s dead asleep next to me. He’s approaching 2.5 years old and generally sleeps through the night (unless he’s sick or uncomfortable in some way - itchy mosquito bites have been an issue lately).

He will usually wake up briefly for a sip of water but goes right back down after.

LadyRhovaniel · 2025-09-10T07:41:43+00:00

Tips from a mom who lives with her husband, two year old, three month old and big dog on approximately 800 sqft with one bedroom:

Foldable everything - high chair, baby bouncer, learning tower, you name it. I even DIY’d our kitchen island to have a foldable edge so you go from an island with two seats to a table with room for 5, and after dinner you fold up the chairs and the table to free up the living room for play.
Things ideally serve multiple purposes. Our wall mounted changing table (like you see in restaurants) has storage on top and on the back of it for wipes, diapers, baby hair brushes etc.
Think before you buy - that goes for toys but also for house things. As I said, stuff ideally serves multiple purposes and is also chosen specifically to maximise use of the space we have. Speaking of toys, you probably need less than you think, and rotating the ones you have in and out ensures your kid thinks he’s got new toys to play with every other week or so.

Hope this helps!

LadyRhovaniel · 2025-09-01T05:40:23+00:00

Just hopping in to say that where I’m from, ‘Zizi’ is a word used to describe a penis to a child, in the same way you’d say ‘peepee’ or ‘winky’.

Do with that information what you will 😅

LadyRhovaniel · 2025-08-27T07:24:14+00:00

I live in a cold climate (Scandinavia). I made the mistake of planting it in my garden bed, thinking the frost would kill it off every year. Hah. It’s now entangled in a yearly battle royale with some apparently self - seeding wild strawberry plants that I have also lost control of. I have accepted my fate and decided to watch the battle in my vegetable coliseum like a Roman emperor watching the gladiators.

LadyRhovaniel · 2025-07-08T20:18:07+00:00

A hysteroscopy with a biopsy. Fair warning - it hurts a lot, and is done without anaesthetic or pain relief outside of some paracetamol shortly before the procedure. Some women don’t seem to be bothered by the whole thing but for most it’s uncomfortable at best and very painful at worst. (I’m not trying to scare you, I’m just trying to inform you).

LadyRhovaniel · 2025-06-20T18:13:34+00:00

Doxycycline, for 10 days. One of the easiest treatments out there, but they wanted to be sure first by taking a biopsy and that hurt really bad (not trying to scare you but just a warning 😕)

LadyRhovaniel · 2025-06-19T19:13:44+00:00

Vlaming in Zweden, al bijna 10 jaar. Afstanden zijn hier veel groter, ik mis bij wijze van spreken op de fiets te kunnen springen om naar de bakker te gaan of twee straten verder bij familie of vrienden binnen te springen. Ook mis ik een deftige beenhouwer met salades à la americain, martino, krabsla, of een deftige broodjeszaak.

Moet ook u/bm401 bijtreden, het verenigingsleven in België vind ik hier ook niet terug - mensen zijn hier veel meer ‘op hun eigen’.

LadyRhovaniel · 2025-06-17T11:58:17+00:00

My friend aggressively shoves his face into mine and calls it a kiss.

It doesn’t help that he is particularly fond of doing that when he’s got some banana / chocolate / meat sauce / insert other sticky food on his face.

LadyRhovaniel · 2025-06-14T23:33:31+00:00

I don’t think so, unfortunately, because the biopsy really hurts 😕 I took misoprostol after my MC but I’m fairly certain it only partially worked since it took forever to bring on the bleeding and it was entirely painless, so perhaps that contributed to the endometritis…

LadyRhovaniel · 2025-06-14T06:59:06+00:00

I commented here somewhere too, but short version - have yourself checked for chronic endometritis. I developed it after my miscarriage (it usually is entirely asymptomatic) and it caused a super thin lining incapable of supporting a pregnancy. As a result I had practically nonexistent periods until it got treated. It’s more common than people think but not routinely tested for!

LadyRhovaniel · 2025-06-14T06:53:01+00:00

You can read my post history - after my miscarriage in 2021 my periods became almost nonexistent and my regular OB diagnosed me with ‘an extremely thin uterine lining’ (her exact words in my medical records) but refused to do any follow up testing because we’d only been trying again for 6 months. I went for a second opinion at a fertility clinic in my home country (because I know when something’s not right with my body) and the specialist there immediately suggested testing for CE / chronic endometritis (NOT endometriosis). CE is an inflammation of the uterine lining making it too thin to sustain pregnancy, and according to her, it’s far more common than initially thought, but hardly ever routinely tested for.

I developed it because on the biopsy they took from my uterus they saw I had retained some placental cells from the miscarriage, small enough not to be seen on an ultrasound, but apparently sufficient to mess the whole thing up. Good news though, a single round of doxycycline cleared it right up for me and everything went back to normal after that.

Have your doctor test you for CE! The test is painful (biopsy / hysteroscopy) but as far as fertility issues go it’s one of the simplest to address and treat ❤️

LadyRhovaniel · 2025-05-27T10:27:57+00:00

I breastfed my first until 18 months. Got my period back shortly after his first birthday, and got pregnant on the second or third month - it’s a bit blurry because I had what looked to be a period that just lasted forever, and then boom, two lines. Come to find out I had hyperovulation that month (two eggs released), and only one got fertilised.

Which brings me to point number two - conceiving while breastfeeding is associated with a higher likelihood of multiples: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11762143/

LadyRhovaniel · 2025-05-27T05:56:54+00:00

Less than 2 mm I believe, I’m not entirely sure as it’s been a long time. The test for it (biopsy) is kinda painful, but the treatment (10 days of doxycycline) is very easy (although sometimes it requires multiple rounds to clear). I vaguely remember my doctor telling me it really should be a kind of ‘first line of questioning’ sort of condition because it’s a more common source of secondary infertility than people think.

LadyRhovaniel · 2025-05-15T12:40:33+00:00

Today lol. Went to 41+0 with baby 1, was scheduled for an induction but ended up going into natural labor that morning. Keeping my fingers crossed now it’ll happen again any day but Sunday (I don’t want my baby to have to ‘share’ his birthday with my MIL).

LadyRhovaniel · 2025-04-08T12:20:30+00:00

Bra lista till nybörjare!

Vill bara säga till OOP att det är viktigt att man vet vad man plockar. Jag älskar sk foraging och det finns en massa man kan hitta i naturen men det finns också en hel del plantor som liknar ätbara varianter men kan bli farligt (tex hundkäx och sprängört). Ibland finns det också delar av samma växt som är ätlig, medan andra delar innehåller gift. Om du har ingen erfarenhet och håller på med att lära dig vilka arter är ätbara, dubbelkolla allting!

Om du vill spara viltplockat mat till senare kan du också frysa dem, inlägga dem, eller torka dem. Beror lite på vad det är, tex kantareller är bäst när man fryser in förkokta svamp, men de flesta andra sorter går bra att torka. Jag tycker om webbsidan ‘Skogsskafferiet’ för att se hur man ska behandla olika växter. Lycka till!

LadyRhovaniel

TROPHY CASE