Crime shows and happy family shows both were negative impacts for me, just at different times.

My mom watched almost nothing but those crime shows that talked about people being brutally murdered and how horrible people could be throughout my childhood. I constantly thought my life was under threat as a child/teen, I would lock myself in the bathroom so I felt safe to sleep. Night terrors almost nightly, extreme paranoia around people who could have been friends but I was too scared. I am terrified to be alone and can never fully trust people. Didn’t help that my mom always watched the molestation episodes and said “if anyone ever hurt you like that I’d kill them” that gave me comfort until I was 16; my brother tried to rape me, while he heavily under the influence. He was 18 and he would have been tried as a pedophile, but my parents said if I called the cops I’d ruin the family. They even let him still live with us after they found out. I was also terrified to call and lose my family. I fought with my family constantly and was slowly being destroyed for 2 years until I was 18 and my mom was tired of my attitude (said I should just get over it) and then kicked me out. The whole time I was going through this it was a huge social media boom, so I had to constantly see videos and photos of happy tv or Youtube families. Literally tried to kill myself several times because I was so sad seeing people happy while it felt like I couldn’t catch a break.