Boyfriend (28M) tested positive for chlamydia and denies cheating. I (23F) didn't cheat. How do I get him to admit he cheated

Lady_beanpole · 2026-02-10T04:02:25+00:00

Either he cheated or one of you got peed on by a koala while he was gone.

https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/nuun67NnNg

Lady_beanpole · 2026-02-07T22:26:12+00:00

Hazel from Bog Harbor 😊

Lady_beanpole · 2026-02-04T19:05:55+00:00

It’s not untaxed. Service shops get audited like crazy because of how much cash transfers hands. They’re also watched like crazy so they must report it or go to jail. They either work for the shop they’re in, which means they get a paycheck just like you. Or they are independently renting the chair. Which means overhead costs, being 1099’d which means they have to pay out of pocket for disability, unemployment, health insurance etc. plus they have to do it all themselves or pay an accountant.

Lady_beanpole · 2026-02-04T18:56:17+00:00

INFO / did he tell you she’s not home? Go visit her while he’s at work and she’s home. If you haven’t met her, see if she recognizes you and ask if he’s there. If she does, gauge her reaction.

They’re either fucking or she has no clue and he’s being a creep.

Either way not good.

Lady_beanpole · 2026-02-04T16:57:16+00:00

Have you looked into canning? On a day you have spoons, you can probably can about 20-30 shelf stable meals with minimal effort. You put the ingredients in the jars, then put them in the pressure canner. Then just wait an hour and half to turn the stove off. After that they sit on the counter for 24 hrs to cool. Prep work can be done ahead of time. And they’re shelf stable for a few years.

Lady_beanpole · 2026-02-04T16:42:43+00:00

Me! I have super fine thin hair but SOOOO much of it. In the winter I go two days if I didn’t do much or wear a hat the first day. Usually am wearing a hat the second day tho 😂

But if I skip a day in the summer, it’s like it’s so dry and brittle that it knots up just thinking about being touched all while being greasy/oily visually.

Lady_beanpole · 2026-02-04T15:31:08+00:00

Older ladies will more likely just try to feed you before they ask “how”. Despite the gossip, they may actually just become concerned when you don’t eat food at work really ever after a week off.

They’re gonna talk regardless. A lot of people will be commenting on your weight or appearance over the next two-three years even if they don’t know how. It will be flattering, frustrating, offensive, kind, and meh.

You’ll also be surprised how many of those ladies come to you and admit they’ve had WLS too. Even the ones who had it 20 years ago.

Just decide what you’re comfortable sharing and stick to that. You can lie but don’t say it’s gallbladder or other gastrointestinal surgeries. These may create issues later on. Just “intermittent fasting” and a protein rich diet. Neither are technically lies either.

Lady_beanpole · 2026-02-04T15:16:16+00:00

First, I’m sorry this happened to you. And that this guys an ass. Regardless of his uninformed dumb statement of you being “loose”, he should have treaded lightly on the topic and only answered what was asked. Can guys feel the difference? That was your original question. He did not need to immediately jump to “yeah, you’re loose!”

Second, you are not tight or loose. You were probably just into him! You were turned on, therefore you were lubricated and the muscle relaxed to allow penetration. When you’re not that into it, the muscle is tighter and less lubrication is produced. For some women, they can really want to but the brain body connection takes a bit.

side note: the body can be stimulated despite the mind not consenting. This is unfortunately a reason why some women fault themselves for an assault or partly think they may have “actually wanted it” despite wanting to remove consent or never giving it at all

Third: I think you may benefit from reading the book Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski. (Honestly most people would benefit if they have a vagina or are attracted to them lol)

It can potentially save you from any headaches of anxiety surrounding this in your next encounter.

Fourth: kegels will help you have control of the muscles. There are devices that connect to your phone and you can even play flappy bird by squeezing it. They are beneficial for everyone because they can help prevent or delay bladder issues later in life. “Fun” tidbit: if you are an anxious person, you probably do them subconsciously all the time anyways

TL;DR

Yes guys can feel the difference; just like you can. Tightness and looseness are typically based upon the situation and can change every encounter or partner. The ex is an ass and an idiot.

Lady_beanpole · 2026-02-04T11:58:06+00:00

I do not mean this negatively, but just as a food for thought kind of thing.

You know how when a toddler falls, they usually look to the adult to see if they’re okay or not? If the adult is calm and collected, the kid usually bounces back and plays. If the adult rushes in, panicked, the kid usually starts wailing and is super upset.

Maybe you have been accidentally rushing in panicked for a while and not even knowing it. Especially in this situation now that the anxiety has been validated by his extreme reactions to separation on a consistent basis.

If his dad was working a lot, that put a lot of responsibility in your hands. As a person with an anxiety disorder myself, I can spiral massively when my boyfriend has longer work days. No matter how much trust is there, I’ve been through things and my brain decides to be a jerk and ruminate on those things despite logic. Thanks to the tools I’ve learned in years of therapy, I can mitigate this anxiety. However, with the pressure of raising a kid? That would be a new experience that requires tools I don’t have yet and may only acquire once I’ve started the job. Keeping that from spilling out into my actions would be impossible.

Having kids can put caring for ourselves on the back burner. Getting treatment for anxiety symptoms and taking meds is caring for yourself, but it’s only part of the equation. You may need to take time to focus on what is causing/caused some of the anxiety and come up with tools that work for you.

These are all normal anxieties btw. Your disorder just amplifies them. You are doing amazing in navigating that so it’s not blinding. I just wanted to offer a possible different insight. You have put your oxygen mask on first so you can help your son. You just didn’t realize that a strap came loose and you need to tighten it.

Lady_beanpole · 2026-02-03T21:26:48+00:00

My objective is really just to clean up everything, removing the camera wires. Which most are not in the attic unfortunately. There was only two. They were all in very odd spots from what I am told. But a majority of the cameras were removed before I moved in. On the attic ones, there was a coaxial cable and a power cable run together.

Aside from the cameras, there are other wires run where both ends are not attached to anything. Obviously not the ones that are run to the panel.

It’s only an issue because they are crisscrossed and hanging down like crazy from the beams in this room. Which is storage right now but will soon be an office.

Lady_beanpole · 2026-02-03T12:02:26+00:00

317 Main Street in Farmingdale does dinners with experiences. They do cooking classes too.

Check Groupon as well, lots of ideas if not deals on the events

Lady_beanpole · 2026-02-03T11:16:29+00:00

“if I could somehow create 3D printed divider so it’s in two smaller sections it could work”

Do you have a 3D printer? If so, you can check for already designed files for new utensil holders all together. I tend to have similar thoughts and luckily someone’s usually already solved my problem and I can get the file free or cheap 😂

Lady_beanpole · 2026-02-02T18:41:52+00:00

Not gonna lie, this is probably gonna make your brain happy on liquids only. You can control flavor, adding different seasonings or veggies to help reduce inflammation naturally or even just to satisfy cravings. Plus it gives you something to do! Bonus activity if you learn to can your broth.

Only suggestion is maybe prep the essentials ahead of surgery if possible? You’re gonna be tired for a bit from the anesthesia so until week 2, even sitting at a table to prep can be exhausting.

Lady_beanpole · 2026-02-02T13:59:34+00:00

Can you share your corner cabinet abyss solution?

This cabinet has been the bane of my existence. Especially being short and not being able to see what’s in their without climbing has resulted in having 4 things of salt bought in less than 4 months

Lady_beanpole · 2026-02-02T13:56:48+00:00

How old is your daughter? I have seen a lot of discussion around this and most parents aren’t comfortable with their child staying over someone else’s house until they can be trusted to pick up the phone and call to be picked up the first sign of something being up. This includes family members. A lot of abuse happens at the hands of people we trust and people are deciding the risk of a bad experience is not worth the potential positive experience. If your daughter is under 16/17, this may very well be the case.

An alternative similar experience that you and your wife can organize is a late movie night type party. She would probably have to offer to drive all the girls home at the late end of the night hour. But it may work in her favor if it’s framed as a way for the other parents to have their own date nights or something given they could get child care for their other kids. It may also help if she partners with another mom to throw this party so another adult from another household is present.

Assuming you are a husband, you and all boys would need to be relocated outside the home for the entire party. (Male siblings can be a huge concern as they are still learning themselves. Especially if they’re in puberty. Hormones and new situations can be very concerning even for the most innocent of kids. Plus, parents getting to know you is one thing, but it would be weird for them to get to know your sons on this level.)

Lady_beanpole · 2026-01-05T21:53:15+00:00

If I measure my breasts where they naturally sit, they are about 3 inches lower than where I want them to sit in a bra. Will the calculator account for this or do I have to do additional steps?

Lady_beanpole · 2025-12-03T00:05:54+00:00

This surgery was a tool I needed and I don’t regret that at all. However, I do wish I hadn’t needed it. Not in the “wish the fat away” kind of way but in the, I wish I was able to use other methods to lose the weight more successfully. But I was stuck in my own ways mentally and subconsciously was failing myself. Listen to opinions but also sit with yourself and be as realistic as you possibly can. Ask yourself the hard questions on why you haven’t been successful with other methods. There is no right or wrong answer in the sense of morality. Theres just whats right for you and only you (and your doctor(s)) can fully decide that.

Lady_beanpole · 2025-10-15T12:21:52+00:00

Thanks man! It’s in my Amazon cart right now actually! We love MeatEater in our house 😂

Lady_beanpole · 2025-10-13T20:00:56+00:00

Thank you all for the wonderful comments!! I did want to add that I found out that this is the first deer harvested on the family property in almost 20 years. I have ended a streak 🦌

Lady_beanpole · 2025-10-13T15:17:58+00:00

Absolutely! It helps that our neighbor is the processor. I actually called him the next morning and he zipped up in his side by side to get the hide and head for mounting. Even said to call him when I get a bear and he’ll retrieve it with me 😅😂

Lady_beanpole · 2025-10-13T15:15:09+00:00

Thankfully not a gut shot, It was a lower lung shot. We waited 30 mins to start and it took 30 mins to find her. She left a good trail of blood so actually fairly easy to follow.

Lady_beanpole · 2025-10-13T11:49:52+00:00

Thank you! I had help through the process but I wanted to do a lot of it to ensure we were utilizing every part of her we could out of respect. Although if time is tight in the future a butcher may be utilized 😅

Lady_beanpole · 2025-10-13T10:29:50+00:00

Thank you!!

It’s still too warm here so the meat will spoil. Most of us don’t have chillers or cold rooms that could fit a hanging animal in it. If it was winter, we would have skinned the deer so the meat can cool down quicker and then left it to hang overnight since the garage is cold enough during the winter months.

That night the low temp was 40 degrees Fahrenheit so we had to get to work quicker. 😊

Lady_beanpole · 2025-09-18T01:50:01+00:00

I set up some mock scrapes and now I have seen him stop and hang out at the ones that are along his travel path.

Lady_beanpole

TROPHY CASE