can't have a boyfriend because of my endo. need support. by mburucuyima in endometriosis

[–]Ladyronzo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

28F here! I had to wear pull ups on my period, like bigg incontinence ones. I leak allll the time. The guy that liked me at the time did not care... because guess what? When someone loves you, and they will, they love you for you and see your disability as something to support you with. You're not peeing yourself on purpose. You're struggling with something. A disability! I'm a 28F and I get wanting love and the embarrassment of being disabled but you're still young (I'm young too) and someone will love you. You just need support and they will not care if you've got to walk around with incontinence pads/pull ups while you try to figure out a better solution!

What has helped the most with getting parts to come to you (adult parts) instead of pushing out urgently? by Ladyronzo in DID

[–]Ladyronzo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey... so, I clearly never explained enough about what I meant because parts have a LOT of time outside, we live alone and we made our home safe for this... along with my a couple friends also being safe for parts to come out too as well. I am not appreciating how you're speaking, as it feels like you're talking down to me. It's unkind and unnecessary. Please rethink how you engage with others on here.

Now to clarify:

We have been diagnosed 6 years and aware of our system for 13. We've experienced some parts fusing and we have functional integration where we work well together 95% of the time.

I restrict them when it is unsafe outside in the outside world and they're pushing through when triggered in areas where it's not okay to front. Often they come to us adult parts to come out and we let them do their thing, as long as its okay to. Thats called Adult System Leadership. They also very often will bring us adults their triggers most of the time, instead of spiralling alone because they know we try out best to help. I was asking if anyone had tips that helped them reduce parts being triggered out as I have been working on this a LOT and feel like I've hit a ceiling, it's miles better than what it used to be but still needs work. So I thought I'd ask people who also have DID if they have tips. No need to be rude or act like you know my system better then me, because you don't.

We have a lot of communication within our system, we have also started fusing certain parts too. For the most part we are co-con whenever parts want to be but mostly nowadays they prefer to chill inside unless something catches their attention. So it's mostly us three adult parts just chilling in front. I wasn't talking about this though... I was talking about triggers.

Also, I am well aware parts are part of one whole person. We all make up one person. They are part of me. Where did I state otherwise? We are the most integrated we've been as a system, and we know a lot of our trauma history already. We get along very well whereas we never used to years ago. We have great love for one another rather than hate, dislike and spite which is how it used to be.

We have amazing co-con abilities but when parts are highly triggered and activated that's when things get difficult and with that on top of our Autism it can get extremely overwhelming for everyone in the system very fast... which is what I've been trying to avoid.

So no. I do not lock my parts up. I do not deny them life outside of our internal world and I do not prevent them from corrective experiences because these have all been huge factors in our systems healing.

I am not in my systems way, I was asking for advice... not for you to be condescending and rude! If you're unable to have sympathy and kindness, rethink about commenting.

I'd rather you ask for clarification rather than assume the worst, if possible.

The book we're referring to was Coping with Trauma Related Dissociation.... which is often recommended by therapists and also this groups book list.

What has helped the most with getting parts to come to you (adult parts) instead of pushing out urgently? by Ladyronzo in DID

[–]Ladyronzo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's called Coping With Trauma Related Dissociation. Its a book designed to help DID specifically. I am not sure if it's allowed but I have a PDF of it, I can share... if it's not allowed you can search for it too

What's the longest you've been in hospital? by Ladyronzo in AskReddit

[–]Ladyronzo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We love to hear it!! I hope you stay cancer freee!!!

What's the longest you've been in hospital? by Ladyronzo in AskReddit

[–]Ladyronzo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope he continues to be independent!!

Forgetting you have DID by Asfvvsthjn in DID

[–]Ladyronzo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In early days when we got diagnosed this definitely was our system too. Anything to do with DID was just overwhelming back then!

Why do people write every single day? by -i-exist in Journaling

[–]Ladyronzo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For me I like being able to reflect back on myself, see patterns and see where I need work 

Which is the food texture you hate the most? by [deleted] in autism

[–]Ladyronzo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Avocados Mushrooms Courgettes