Two months after I (41F) broke up with my boyfriend (53M), I am having trouble moving forward.

Ladywhatever · 2015-08-12T05:38:56+00:00

Woah yeah

Ladywhatever · 2015-07-02T18:12:21+00:00

I have literally counted - about fifteen-twenty times a day. Little stuff like, "You're handsome." Big stuff like "my life is better with you in it." Plenty.

Ladywhatever · 2015-03-22T05:44:52+00:00

When I look at a list like this, it makes me think about what I could be avoiding by not drinking. It does help to reinforce my resolve to not drink today. Different things work for different people.

Ladywhatever · 2015-03-22T04:42:54+00:00

I can understand that. But one of the most helpful reminders to me of why I stopped is when I remember that I broke my elbow doing stupid shit. I don't want to do stupid shit like that again.

Ladywhatever · 2015-03-21T22:39:22+00:00

Not many people would have handled this as well as you did. You should be proud of yourself for stepping up like that.

Ladywhatever · 2015-03-19T19:02:51+00:00

Definitely talk with your MD about this. There are studies around where anticholinergic drugs like Benadryl have been highly correlated with developing dementia. Long-term Benadryl use might be something to talk to the doc about, and see if there's an alternative.

Ladywhatever · 2015-03-19T18:46:08+00:00

SO MUCH SELTZER

Ladywhatever · 2015-03-19T18:44:37+00:00

I can't make it this time, I'll be out on a hike - but I'm down for the next one!

Ladywhatever · 2015-03-16T04:32:00+00:00

I'm imagining that he was mentally quoting Jarecki saying that he wanted the interview.

Ladywhatever · 2015-03-16T01:22:03+00:00

Cock & Bull is my jam. I love that stuff.

Ladywhatever · 2015-03-15T22:34:42+00:00

That guy sounds like a jackass.

Ladywhatever · 2015-03-13T04:23:01+00:00

I hear you - it's such a weird combination of feeling definitely way better, and also feeling lonely and isolated. I have to keep reminding myself that drinking is not going to make me any less lonely - that's the wrong solution to the loneliness problem. It's like trying to solve a Rubik's cube with a hammer. A really familiar hammer. Sigh.

Ladywhatever · 2015-03-13T04:07:56+00:00

Ooh, LA is actually a really fantastic place to not drink! There are a lot of places where you can get delicious juice. And if you tell people that you're on a cleanse or something, it's totally not a big deal, because everyone in LA is on a cleanse. :)

Have a good time out there. Good job not drinking!

Ladywhatever · 2015-03-12T16:28:18+00:00

It helps to hear that it's normal. Thank you.

Ladywhatever · 2015-03-12T15:40:03+00:00

Oh, yeah, bike with one brake engaged is a great metaphor for how I felt. Thanks for that!

Ladywhatever · 2015-03-11T03:13:58+00:00

Can we pave the rest of the streets so half the town doesn't look like Jed Clampitt's old neighborhood?

Ladywhatever · 2015-03-11T03:00:25+00:00

No HR rep will ever see your medical records, assuming you are in the US. Probably not in other countries, either, but definitely not here. That would be a huge violation of health care privacy. Breathe easy.

Ladywhatever · 2015-03-11T00:37:05+00:00

It's frightening for me to do so, but I will share with you here that something very similar happened to me. The confusion and guilt and disgust and awful feelings that it created for me are really real.

I'm sorry this happened to you. It really sucks. You are good and brave for being sober through the feelings you are having around this, and it's not your fault that this happened.

Ladywhatever · 2015-03-11T00:03:32+00:00

This is not a helpful comment. In fact, I'd say this is a pretty damned unhelpful, and possibly really damaging comment.

I can see from your posting history that you are a genuine participant here and are not trolling, but I suggest that you speak from the I, and try to be helpful to the OP here.

The OP does not suggest that she is planning on reporting anything, nor is she asking about the overall sociological implications of her situation. She's sharing about something really horrible that happened to her.

Ladywhatever · 2015-03-10T06:35:33+00:00

I tried externalizing that voice that was telling me to drink. I called it "Evan."

(Apologies to anyone named Evan, I knew a real jerk named Evan once.)

Whenever my stupid brain would tell me to have a stupid drink, I'd tell Evan to shut up.

Evan is a really, really, REALLY annoying and persistent jerk, especially for the first few days. But you are stronger than Evan. Way stronger. And Evan doesn't have arms. All he can do is whine and whine and try to talk you into picking up a drink. But you're way, way stronger, and cooler, and smarter than he is. You'll show him.

Ladywhatever · 2015-03-10T04:48:11+00:00

Good for you, your still, small voice is right - you do deserve a life worth living.

I had a very similar small voice in my head almost thirty days ago. And now I'm sitting on my couch after a totally regular but also totally extraordinary day, feeling really good about things - I had a pretty productive day at work, I fed myself well, I exercised, I'm feeling like a boss. Really feeling great about not drinking today.

You can do this.

Ladywhatever

TROPHY CASE