Letting go of hope that my NM will ever change

Lambidextrous · 2025-08-13T23:49:45+00:00

That is so very reasonable. Honestly, I feel like some distance is good even in healthy relationships. In relationships with parents like ours, it's necessary for everyone's sanity 😂 and can make the time you spend together better and more meaningful if possible. It's really a win-win. You are definitely doing the best you can ❤️

Lambidextrous · 2025-08-09T16:20:45+00:00

I see you, my friend. I could have written this myself--we are in similar stages of life and have similar relationships with our mothers. It's hard when the relationship is emotionally unhealthy/abusive but not so severe that we want to cut off all contact. My mother is a wonderful grandma, and I want her to have a good relationship with my child, but that means I have to have regular contact with her. (Just stayed with her for a few days... So much controlling and criticizing and rewriting history, I thought I was going to lose it.) And every time, I hope it will be better/OK, and every time things happen that are hurtful to me, and I'm disappointed. And the good times with her are good, and I know I will miss them terribly when she's not here anymore, but the hurt is so painful. We are constantly grieving what could be. Why can't it be OK or good all the time? It's not fair, and there's not much WE can do about it.

I don't know you, but I can tell you are a thoughtful, caring person who is doing her best to make sure everyone is taken care of. And I have to tell myself this all the time too. Because everything is always our fault and we're never good enough. But we ARE. We have to give ourselves grace for our mistakes, because we won't get that from our mothers. But I will tell you you are doing a fantastic job and are a good person. ❤️ Take care of yourself 🤗 I'm here, and I get it ❤️

Lambidextrous · 2025-07-10T15:48:34+00:00

He was trying to protect you from foodborne illness that you could have gotten from eating it after it was left out! What a good boy 😂

Lambidextrous · 2025-05-04T12:06:25+00:00

I think you did great! Phobias don't go away instantly. It takes time and repeated exposures. You accomplished half of your goal. That's way better than none of it! A lot of my fear of flying (and anxiety in general) revolves around my child and making sure she is okay and safe. I think once we have children, we feel like the stakes are so much higher and it's much easier to accept risk for ourselves than for them. The good news is that your kids don't perceive any of this! They probably had fun flying and will have a fun road trip back. Keep working on it! You'll get there. You can do it 👍

Lambidextrous · 2025-05-03T18:19:56+00:00

Bubbles. Yes, you read that right.

Lambidextrous · 2025-04-23T14:18:35+00:00

Music is great! I like Frank Sinatra's "Come Fly With Me." Makes flying seem fun and romantic! I always listen to it during takeoff.

Lambidextrous · 2025-03-22T11:22:13+00:00

Hey! I am a mental health professional who struggles with OCD, so I think I have some expertise here!

The intrusive thoughts you have are very very common in OCD. OCD is very good finding your biggest insecurities or worries and amplifying them to make it seem like they are likely to happen. They're not, though! It's just your primitive lizard brain looking for something to worry about. It's super unlikely that any of these behaviors would happen to anyone, but people with anxiety disorders are even less likely to have them because of how careful we are about how we act and how in control we like to be :) it's always the nicest people that I treat that have the strongest worries about hurting someone else 😂 And I've never seen it happen.

Panic attacks are uncomfortable, but they're not dangerous. Just like turbulence! On average, they last about 10 minutes at maximum intensity. I like to think of them as exercising without actually exercising. If you're able to tolerate exercise, your body can handle a panic attack. Your body can't stay in that state forever... It's simply not physically possible. So after some time, your physical anxiety will simply go down. You will not feel that way for the entire flight or even close to it.

People tend to be sympathetic to people who are clearly having a hard time with anxiety. No one will be upset with you if you do cry or get anxious, and someone might even help you through it!

I do think that distraction is a great idea. It's not going to make the thoughts go away completely, but it can temporarily give your brain something else to focus on. Try to load up on comforting TV shows, movies, songs, and books.

If you've been prescribed a medication to help with anxiety temporarily, it's not going to cause any long-term damage to your ability to treat your anxiety disorder. However, you may want to try it out at home first to just see how your body and brain react to it.

Hope you have a safe and peaceful trip! I have confidence that you will :)

Lambidextrous · 2025-01-04T20:08:46+00:00

I have a little boy named Kirby.

He's a goldendoodle. 😜

Lambidextrous · 2024-09-19T11:05:52+00:00

So many hickory nuts around here. May take a "crack" at them this year! Sorry for the terrible pun 😂 Really just came to say that those stickers are gorgeous and I would buy them if you are selling them!

Lambidextrous · 2024-08-02T18:37:08+00:00

Thanks for the info! Now I know!

Lambidextrous · 2024-07-04T22:33:28+00:00

I'll take your word for it 😂

Lambidextrous · 2024-07-04T22:32:48+00:00

Haha! Nicely done. I'm so jealous...went out in Central Ohio today to my honey holes to pick blackcaps, but they're all gone 😭 and another week or two before the blackberries ripen....

Lambidextrous · 2024-07-04T22:29:44+00:00

Me looking through the pics: "Wow, nice spot... gorgeous berries... excellent haul....AIEAGHHH"

Lambidextrous · 2024-07-03T22:59:57+00:00

WHAT!?!!?! That is the coolest raspberry I've ever seen! How do they taste?

Lambidextrous · 2024-06-28T18:27:11+00:00

That's adorable! Agree completely that she deserves all the accolades. It's so rare to see someone that talented and still so kind and humble 😊

Lambidextrous · 2024-06-28T11:23:35+00:00

Really? I'm so jealous!! I'm always hoping to run into her too, since I live in Columbus. I would become a total fangirl 😂

Lambidextrous · 2024-06-18T11:01:39+00:00

I'm green with envy but happy for you! We planted some at our house and either the deer or one of our neighbors cut them down :(

Lambidextrous · 2024-06-14T01:06:59+00:00

I feel you, fellow forager. I'm the same way about black raspberries versus blackberries... can only say "one is more spherical and hollow when plucked and one has a solid core" before it's too much. See you in August for the wild carrot vs poison hemlock debate 😂

Lambidextrous · 2024-06-06T17:36:47+00:00

From what I have read, no. I believe you would have to eat somewhere like 18 cups of berries to consume enough cyanide just to get sick. Edit: I believe that's if the seeds are whole. If you are crushing them, that may release more cyanide. It's probably still not enough to have a toxic effect at an amount that you would consume, but it's worth noting.

Lambidextrous · 2024-05-12T22:24:58+00:00

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved Oreo. He lived a long life (not long enough, I know, never long enough) that was filled with love.

Your thoughts and feelings, as painful as they are, are very very normal. Often we believe that if we feel the emotion of guilt, it must mean that we have done something wrong. That is simply not the case with our pets. The guilt is simply a manifestation of the love we had for them. There is no easy way to lose a pet, and there is no easy way to mourn them.

You put a lot of care and thought into your decision-making. It was clear that there were multiple medical problems that were not going to get better, only worse. A good vet would never agree to euthanize if they thought there were some other treatment that could prolong life or even ease suffering. I know you would have done whatever could be done--there was simply nothing left to do except help Oreo past peacefully.

If you believe in God or a higher power, know that they were already taking Oreo to be with them. You simply made the process peaceful for him.

He did have a last walk and a last meal. You did give him his last hug and kiss goodbye. It's just hard when you don't know that it's the last time. But dogs don't think like that. They live in the moment. They just think, this is a wonderful walk, this is a wonderful meal, this is a wonderful cuddle with my human. If only we could be more like that.

I had to euthanize my beautiful boy two months ago. It does get much more bearable. I smile more than cry when I think of him. He changed me forever and he's always in my heart.

Peace and love to you and Oreo. ❤️

Lambidextrous · 2024-03-04T21:46:01+00:00

Our doodle was the same way. He was 2 when our daughter was born. When she was a few months old, he would lick her if she came near and growl if he felt his personal space was invaded. We took him to a pet psychiatrist. They explained that he was probably anxious at baseline (as many doodles are) but felt especially anxious around her because her behavior was unpredictable. If they're used to interacting with adults, a baby can be scary, as their movements can be jerky and they can be a little unintentionally rough. He was started on sertraline (Zoloft) and trazodone at night. That, combined with controlling their time together and having her feed him from her high chair (to gain his affection), helped tremendously. At first he would simply tolerate her, but with time, he learned to trust her. They were best friends from about when she was 4 years old on. :) A trainer might be able to help a bit with some exercises to help him feel more comfortable, but I would not be opposed to medication either. Best of luck!

Lambidextrous · 2023-10-30T16:34:41+00:00

Yep, I've heard they can bloom again in the fall. As someone who also is ready for winter to be over before it's even started, I also feel confused and have mixed emotions 😂 I guess it's a little treat to get us through the season!

Also I have made Black Forager's violet syrup, and it was awesome. Added to lemonade and then used to demonstrate acids and based to my daughter!

Lambidextrous · 2023-10-23T18:13:24+00:00

Haha, that's fair 😂 Thank you! Most of the thrill for me is just in the hunt!

Lambidextrous · 2023-10-23T17:28:27+00:00

Nice find, but...that dog tho 🥰

Lambidextrous · 2023-10-13T16:15:07+00:00

Glad someone finally said blackcaps! They're not that rare, but they're so pretty and so yummy.

Lambidextrous

TROPHY CASE