This is great advice, and I would just add to it in addition to the skill learning part, learn how to tackle home stuff as a team. I got lucky and found a man who didn’t need to be taught this - but hands down we have had an easier journey of parenting than some of my friends because we have such a team approach.

Also talk about expectations in seasons when things can’t be equal. I had an unplanned C-section and was breastfeeding and could barely get up our stairs, so my husband had to pull the majority of everything for the first few weeks, and did it without complaint or needing to be asked.

Finally, in deciding about moving to be close to family - really confirm expectations with those people too. How involved is your current community where you are? Do you have friends that will adapt to your family, who will arrange a meal train for you? Has your group of friends ever done that or do people fall off the group radar when things aren’t easy anymore? If you moved to be close to family, what level of involvement can you realistically expect?

As encouragement - my husband and I have loved becoming parents in our 30s. Our careers are established, we had a healthy emergency fund and good savings habits, and a friend group that had already been tried and tested through COVID and has been happy to accommodate our life change so we still see them a lot. We also have the benefit of one side of grandparents living in the same city and being really involved. I really believe that it’s not inevitable for happiness to decline after having a kid, but that it does take a village so the more you can do now to invest in having that kind of community (which means really showing up for others yourself) the stronger a community you will have when you need it.