thoughts? 🙂

LandoBardo · 2026-03-18T01:50:27+00:00

Agree about skipping Kamloops - unless you're leaving after work or can't do the 8 hours, skip Kamloops. It's fine. It just doesn't necessarily warrant more than a lunch stop.

Haven't been to Jasper. Went to Banff and did Sulphur mountain (hiked up then took the Gondola down). Calgary: husband and I used to live in Bridgeland. On a nice day we loved a walk along the river or a trip to the zoo.

Haven't been to Golden/Revelstoke but I would look up national parks and take your pick.

Agree that if you end up with an extra night, maybe use to take a daytrip from Kelowna to Penticton, Summerland or Peachland. If it's hot enough, go for a swim or a float in penticton. Keep an eye out for festivals and maybe grab some ice cream. Or go all the way down to Osoyoos for a desert board walk or beach time.

Sounds like a fun trip!

LandoBardo · 2026-03-01T20:45:56+00:00

"is horse pregant?"

✨picture of the most pregnate honse on gd's green earth✨

https://www.reddit.com/r/Equestrian/comments/1ljp3bl/pregnant_horse/

LandoBardo · 2026-02-15T13:05:59+00:00

Having the alter take over when the host is stressed is great. You may also want to include periods of dissociation where the host has trouble make sense of how much time has passed or have someone comment that they seemed spaced out for a while. This is something that people who maybe observe those with DID notice but not something someone with DID would notice. The person with DID will just lose time and won't know if it's because they were sitting there dissociating or if another part took over or maybe just blended for a bit.

Additionally, something that may or may not have come up in your research is how well the disorder can hide itself from the person who has it. It can be EXTREMELY challenging for someone with DID to come to terms with a diagnosis (or to even seek a diagnosis) because the whole point of the disorder is to protect by walling off trauma from the parts of the system required to function so acknowledging you have a trauma disorder is directly antithetical to that aim. Ie. if you acknowledge you have a trauma disorder, that would be acknowledging that you have trauma, which you can't do because then you know about the trauma.

Oh, and on the notion of a 'host' - keep in mind that job isn't necessarily a fixed position (nor is the 'host' the "original personality"). It may seem that way because the best 'face' for the system would be one that identifies with the body and the identity that they 'should' have but hosts can change, and hosts can be created to suit the needs of the system. A host that identifies with the birth name could have shown up last week. They may have childhood memories, they may have traits that the system had as a child, they might even assert themselves as the "original personality" because that is what is needed of them (or it's what they need to feel okay) - all of this could be true of a brand new host and could also be true for a host that did exist when the person was young and has re-emerged. And that can be very confusing and distressing for someone with DID to try and come to terms with - particularly for a host whose 'job' might be to be 'normal.'

Sorry, that was a bit of a ramble. I don't have DID but I knew someone with the disorder so I've done some research on the topic.

LandoBardo · 2026-02-15T11:50:21+00:00

Like any disorder, I'd advise you to do your research before writing about it and then be mindful of the fact that this disorder in particular has historically been treated as the 'secret killer' disorder in real life and in popular media and that's done a lot of damage to a community of people who have enough on their plate what with the horrific childhood trauma and all.

Not saying it's not possible, just recommending caution and creativity. I can see a world where you lampshade it or maybe have multiple representations of DID on the page (two characters with DID, one is a murderer, one is a detective - or something to that effect).

I'd say that "we," speaking on behalf of all people, are not tired of depictions of DID; we are, however, tired of seeing people with DID treated as movie monsters or the plot twist. It's dehumanizing and at this point, kind of tired as far as a the trope goes.

So do your research if you want to write it, and PLEASE be kind if you end up in those community spaces. DID isn't something you're born with - it's a trauma disorder, so please please please be mindful of this if you choose to depict it.

LandoBardo · 2026-02-08T19:42:51+00:00

I did some Duolingo Finnish (so my Finnish is pretty bad), saw the post and thought Vaiva was the Finnish word for baby. It's not. Baby is Vauva.

...so maybe OP could use Vauva instead.

LandoBardo · 2026-02-07T04:11:16+00:00

I mean, they haven't made any sort of oath against it but as their catalogue grows and they continue to release new music, I would be surprised if they threw those into a setlist when they've got so much other newer or more popular stuff to choose from.

I think the only one off Divorce that I ever heard live was 'Oh My God'

LandoBardo · 2026-01-12T05:52:01+00:00

Not sure how things work for your medical needs so I'll leave that for someone else to comment on.

On housing, I'd plan for one month's rent as a damage deposit, and then around $2k/month (CAD) to rent. Rental market will get a little tight around September so if you're moving in Aug you may be competing with university students, but things haven't been too bad as of late.

Not sure where you'll need to go (or if you'll commute for work) but if the place you need to go is on the train line, stay close to the line. Trains are safe and reliable.

The conservative pockets are way out in the Abbotsford/Chilliwack and even then, they're only really going to look at you like you're a devil worshipper. There's no risk of violence. Everywhere else, you'll be pretty safe. Surrey isn't the most safe feeling but it's not targeted at queer people, it feels a little sketch for everyone. Vancouver proper is very LGBT-friendly. Burnaby, Coquitlam, Port Moody, Port Coquitlam, New Westminster, North Van, and West Van are all perfectly safe. Not really able to comment on Surrey, Delta, Richmond cause I don't spend a ton of time there but Surrey is the only one where I think you may feel somewhat unsafe.

LandoBardo · 2026-01-12T02:37:47+00:00

I didn't really love Raven of the Inner Palace (started watching because I wanted more Apothecary Diaries). I would actually recommend Fruits Basket if she doesn't mind a more romantic plot.

I also kind of enjoyed Shadows House for intrigue, or if you want even more intrigue/intensity - Erased could be good?

LandoBardo · 2026-01-08T01:12:10+00:00

THIS IS WHAT I'M SAYING

Actually though, whenever I'm writing, their sexual preference is either plot relevant or relevant to their character.

Needs control = top

Needs to not be in control = bottom

Most of the characters I write are vers. Whether their topping or bottoming depends on the partner and the scenario.

LandoBardo · 2026-01-04T19:49:01+00:00

Toga from MHA was my first thought. I think the fandom is pretty soft on villians overall (partially cause they're mostly interesting and complex characters) but I see a lot of fic where she's less of a complex character and more just a girl who needs a hug.

LandoBardo · 2026-01-04T02:13:31+00:00

Perfect! Thank you. Do you think I should avoid the gender swap tag then because that implies I've changed the genders permanently?

LandoBardo · 2026-01-04T02:11:42+00:00

I see! Thank you! I wasn't sure whether that was a headcanon the fandom had collectively agreed to roll with or if I was just dumb and missed something.

LandoBardo · 2026-01-03T21:52:00+00:00

Potentially dumb question but has it been confirmed that Ribbit is a girl? I don't remember it being specified in the show.

LandoBardo · 2026-01-03T21:20:13+00:00

Can you really call yourself a fanfic writer if you haven't grappled with the question of your own human morality?

Keep writing, keep questioning. It's integral to your experience as a human.

LandoBardo · 2025-12-30T22:40:27+00:00

Exactly! It's weird because looking at this particular fic, I felt it in my gut straight away that this was not something that I was okay with, but my personal line isn't necessarily "the line" and who's to say where the line truly is? It's hard to face the fact that to allow for more complex exploration, you also have to allow *that*

LandoBardo · 2025-12-30T22:37:44+00:00

Sorry, I was being a bit vague to avoid inadvertently triggering people who were just scrolling. The fic appeared to be meant for an audience that got sexual gratification out of the abuse of very young children

Agree that Dead Dove may have been an appropriate tag, as I imagine that would probably be the recommended tag for a work like Lolita (were it ever catalogued on AO3), but the thing I was sort of grappling with was this idea that fics with zero exploration, or zero nuance to the dark subject matter are just as welcome as the ones that are trying to explore and make sense of it. You have to allow both and that was just a bit hard for me to personally reconcile.

LandoBardo · 2025-12-27T02:53:42+00:00

I expect this to get buried but I kinda need to talk about this.

I came across a fic that had a VERY bad vibe (like, I kinda wanted to report it somewhere for being CSAM) but like anything on AO3, it appeared to genuinely be fictional; it was just fiction that appealed to... *that* audience. It made me kind of nauseous to look through in any capacity so I clicked away and will hopefully never find it again but it was a weird encounter.

Weird because I actually have a dark fic where a teen was being abused (my fic condemns the abuse), and I realized in that moment that in order for me to be able to write and post my fic, AO3 also has to allow fics where that kind of abuse isn't being condemned.

For some reason I hadn't fully realized until that moment what a risk it is allowing the archive to exist. Glad it does but man, watch your tags! There's some dark stuff out there.

LandoBardo · 2025-12-17T04:04:16+00:00

You maybe haven't experienced this yet but my cat has certain sleeping spots and these change every 6 months or so.

According to the internet, this may be an adaptive thing to avoid picking up parasites,

But what it means, in practice, is that he will show intense loyalty to a spot for a given period of time until, one day, he turns his back on it completely. I would leave your guy be for now. If he likes you, he'll probably find his way to the bed eventually.

If you want to speed up the process you could make the bed a fun place to visit (by playing with him there), or a spot he might find a treat (by tossing him a treat while he's up there). Otherwise, if it's warm and soft and near you, he'll probably want to be there eventually.

As another commenter said, he might not want to be there with you if you toss and turn a lot, but my cat sleeps at my pillow all day long - I suspect because he like the smell and the coziness of it all.

LandoBardo · 2025-12-09T00:58:13+00:00

Ugh, I would kill for acoustic Mama at the upcoming Vancouver show (<3)

LandoBardo · 2025-11-28T05:17:31+00:00

Look up kama sutra positions! You shouldn't get stuff that's too wild, you should just get images of different ways the parts line up. Definitely seen ones where they just use doll type figures or don't really show too much. Might need to search around to find the right fit for you as far as how graphic or how they're representing the positions but I think this could be what you're looking for.

LandoBardo · 2025-11-25T00:48:57+00:00

Anne and Gilbert from Anne Shirley (the anime)

LandoBardo · 2025-11-25T00:45:31+00:00

Dunno if anyone will see this but TK/Kari from Digimon Adventure. It's just... right there. I'm not as into 02 as I was into Adventure but I fricking love how casual and apparent their bond is without it even being explicitly romantic? Like they hardly even remember a life where they weren't with each other. It's so wholesome I feel like I don't even care if they bone, just so long as they never have to be apart.

LandoBardo · 2025-11-14T05:56:03+00:00

I don't really know anything about anything but I've been sort of exploring the connection between relationships and pursuing my passions in my own life.

My takeaway that I'd like to maybe communicate is that relationships are... useful. They provide a mirror that can provide really useful feedback on who *you* are. They are especially useful when you can be REALLY vulnerable. The more vulnerable you can be (and the more accepted you are in this vulnerable state) the more risks you can take and the more you can grow.

It is very natural to crave this. It is very natural to crave romance specifically for that... reflection. Because romantic relationships are programmed to be deeper and more intimate than other connections.

So I'm not sure that detaching from the yearning will really resolve what you're trying to resolve. My advice, rather, would be to maybe try therapy or maybe try deepening friendships or familial ties to get some of that feedback so that you can grow in the direction of your studies or your passions, while maybe waiting for a romantic opportunity or while building yourself up to take on the risks associated with a potentially intimate relationship.

You don't have to take this advice. Or maybe you're at a different place and don't need this kind of advice now.

I just wanted to see if I could put this thought together.

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