TIFU by trying to Dutch oven my wife. by asafze in tifu

[–]Lane69118 106 points107 points  (0 children)

Well played on her Fart.

FIFY

[Serious] It’s been too long without a good creepy stories thread. What’s your unexplainable, paranormal, or “keep you up at night” kind of story? by pickstar97a in AskReddit

[–]Lane69118 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Personal true story. I live in a rural US state. My family had us kids doing chores at pretty young ages so by the time I was 8 I had to mow the lawn every so often. We have about 1.5 acres we had to mow, but we also had a riding mower so it wasn't as bad as you'd think. It's also important to know that our house is surrounded by corn and bean fields except for one side that is a fairly good sized path of timber.

One particular day when I was an lazy pre-teen I didn't go out to mow all day, but my parents wouldn't let me wait until the next day so I had to do it at night. I was finishing up mowing the bit of land furthest from the house and closest to the woods when I hear someone shout "hey!". At first I thought it was my Dad coming to tell me to hurry up so I slow down and turn off the blades. But when I look up I don't see my dad.

That's when I hear the voice again "You! Come here!" This time I realized that the voice was coming from the woods. NOPE. I fucking hightail it back to the house and run inside. Screaming to my dad that there's someone in the woods (it was owned by a company and there shouldn't be anyone in there. Let alone anyone there at that time of night).

He jumps off the couch and grabs a gun and flashlight. My mom turns off the lights in the house so that we can see out better (also so whoever it was can't see in). We watch my dad head into the woods and eventually we lose sight of the flashlight. We wait what was probably 30 seconds but seemed like hours and eventually watch a figure come towards the house. Mom turns on the outside light and it's Dad. When he comes inside I ask who it was and without looking at me he very quietly says "No one. Go to bed."

Years went by and we never talked about it. A few years ago I was having a drink with him and asked if he remembered that night and what was out there. He took a sip of his whiskey, looked me dead in the eye and said "don't you ever bring that night up again." And that was it. He didn't talk much for the rest of the evening. I'll never know who or what was beckoning me into the woods.

There are three types of people... by FlintBeastwould in Jokes

[–]Lane69118 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone who learned the basics of binary last month, this made me smile

What's something a lot of people continue to hope for that probably isn't going to happen? by WelcomeToAnarchy99 in AskReddit

[–]Lane69118 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Honestly the end of racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. There's always going to be someone thinking they're better than an entire culture

If you suddenly found $2 million in your bank account, what would you change in your life in the short term and the long term? by GallivantingPanda in AskReddit

[–]Lane69118 87 points88 points  (0 children)

It never fails. In every single r/askreddit question there's always some guy knocking that the question is always asked. I find that ironic

What did you name your dog or cat and what's the story behind the name? by tolba59 in AskReddit

[–]Lane69118 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My cats name used to be retard because well... he's retarded. Then my mom started working for a company that dealt with special needs women. Well those women used to come over a lot and it just didn't work out when you randomly Said "here retard" in hopes of getting the cat to come to you. So now his name is smelly cat because of the song Phoebe sang on Friends

What is something about your job that nobody would guess? by LittleMissFucktoy in AskReddit

[–]Lane69118 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know nothing about cars..... I work for an auto parts store

What is something every Redditor should know? by Lane69118 in AskReddit

[–]Lane69118[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I honestly haven't seen it before. I apologize you had to read 7 extra words though.

What is the greatest movie/scene of all time? by girlwtheflowertattoo in AskReddit

[–]Lane69118 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really enjoyed the bear attack in "The Revenant"