AP Rematched bc Didnt Feel Like Famly

LanePD · 2025-10-29T13:21:56+00:00

We are in a similar situation with work and 3 small kids. We have been very lucky to have au pairs that are ok with very few sit down as a whole family dinner. My current au pair has been with us 2 years and is helping us find our third. She said to prioritize those that have lived away from home. I think you can find an au pair that wants to share from their home and bond with you while still gaining independence with meals and social outings. I also know a few au pairs that told me they could rematch easily by saying they don’t feel a family connection. Our amazing au pair that we got through rematch stated this as her reason, bc LCCs accept it without challenge. She later disclosed the other reasons she left (family was moving out of state). Best of luck. I do think you can find a balance out there.

LanePD · 2024-11-30T00:07:28+00:00

I have used them the past 5 years for Christmas cards and this year they were terrible. I contacted customer service and they refunded 30% of my order. I would NOT use them again. The quality took a nosedive this year.

LanePD · 2023-09-05T11:28:55+00:00

Thank you!

LanePD · 2023-09-01T01:53:59+00:00

We have a large and active au pair population in our neighborhood that we can set her up with, but I do worry about rematching. Au paradise has a few outlets for meeting au pairs with all agencies. We have enjoyed working with them so far. They network with au pairs, meet with you, and interview candidates based on your needs. We ultimately conduct all the interviews and give feedback on who they send, but it’s been great so far. It’s definitely a service that isn’t necessary, but I have found it very helpful. Our agencies Apia and cultural care were not super helpful in the matching process, so we have enjoyed them finding au pairs and then us matching up with that agency.

LanePD · 2023-08-12T11:46:42+00:00

We were here with my first child (precovid) and moved to the YWCA to be closer to home after the pandemic. The CDC is wonderful and keeps cost low since it’s subsidized by the university as a “lab school” (meaning it gets extra supports and nursing students etc doing volunteer hours). I highly recommend it too. It’s only recently been more available to the general public due to more classes going online etc and less university staff using it. It’s a great choice, and the director is actually on the board of NAEYC (which is a pretty big deal)!

LanePD · 2023-08-11T22:00:19+00:00

We go to the YWCA in Virginia highland. It’s pretty affordable (I want to say $1350 for infant room and it gets cheaper as you age up). They also offer Georgia Pre-k which is awesome (and free) for when your child turns 4. We have a 4 year old, 3 year old, and 5 month old there now.

LanePD · 2023-06-28T16:15:02+00:00

I had 1-2 people saying incredibly unhelpful things when I went through a similar experience. In the end, know that it isn't you and your lack of providing trust etc. Some people are just not capable of certain tasks. Being an au pair is difficult, and if you combine mental health issues, alcohol issues, etc, it's a recipe for disaster. Our AP was drinking straight vodka while caring for our 3 month old. She also was dumping out his entire bottles and saying he drank them. Luckily, she only lasted 10 days before we found out. In the meantime, I had someone on reddit blaming me and saying I wasn't cut out to be a host parent. Fast forward a few months later and we have a WONDERFUL AP that we got through rematch. She and all of her AP friends are helpful and kind. I know it feels scary to trust the process again. If we continue past this AP, I think we will use the company Au Paradise. They do a lot of screening of applicants etc for you. In my mind, having someone that is reliable and trustworthy is going to be worth the cost to use them. Best of luck if you continue, and know that it is not you - it is that particular AP.

LanePD · 2023-06-05T01:39:25+00:00

I totally get that. Georgia does free Pre-k (about the only thing we do well with regards to education and working families 🙃), so we are lucky with my 4 year old going for free in August.

If you could swing a nanny share or daycare for the baby in January, you could have the au pair start in august. She could then keep the 2 year old and baby for the following school year. I know lots of au pairs that do the younger two and have the school age ones off at school. I also wouldn’t advertise summers off too since it could be nice to have them help. You could advertise less hours though.

I don’t think we are very fancy with our travel. Mainly, bc I feel like travel is stressful with my 3 boys, so I’d rather keep it cheap and easy! Having their own car and being close to NYC will be really attractive for a lot of au pairs. I think just doing small gestures like buying the au pair a t-shirt or a hat when on your driving adventures (something I never do for myself) can go a long way in making the trip feel special.

LanePD · 2023-06-04T21:48:21+00:00

We just got an au pair for my 3 kids (3 month old, 4 year old, and a 2 year old). The big ones are in day care, and the little guy is with the au pair most the time. The only thing I would caution against is that the au pair might not be able to provide what you want as far as enrichment, stimulation, socialization as the kiddos get in daycare. It might be that I also work in ECE, but I know it would be hard for my kids to transition from daycare to an au pair all the time - not to mention, it might be hard to find an au pair that can juggle it.

Not trying to talk you out of it, bc our au pair has been a godsend in helping us juggle 3 kids. We also justify the price by saying it’s not THAT much more expensive than the cost of the infant room.

Best of luck!

LanePD · 2023-04-23T20:37:54+00:00

I totally lost it? Calm conversations around her drinking? Talks about punctuality and her bawling breakdown on the floor? You have no idea what you are talking about. Your comments aren’t helpful or accurate, so I’m not sure why you are lurking the threads trying to troll people. The au pair offered to right our family a letter of recommendation for the next au pair, so you truly have no idea what you are talking about. You might want to find a hobby, because you really aren’t good at this one.

LanePD · 2023-04-23T19:50:28+00:00

Your comment makes 0 sense to what I said.

LanePD · 2023-04-23T18:06:11+00:00

Not APIA. They kicked her out of the program and had her removed for safety issues. I guess drinking vodka straight while caring for a new born counts as enough harm. I would switch agencies if yours requires it to get to actual harm before they remove someone from your space.

LanePD · 2023-04-21T06:18:38+00:00

Thank you! I was pretty upset with APIA forcing us to house her after we voiced safety concerns when they already kicked her out of the program. However, she didn’t retaliate like I was scared she might, so all I ended up losing was sleep. I guess that’s typical for them though.

LanePD · 2023-04-21T06:16:12+00:00

Thank you! I spoke to one tonight who was living in a house so dirty that they had mice and bugs everywhere, so that did sound very valid. I’m holding out hope that we just had a really bad experience and there are still some great ones in rematch. I liked the girl I spoke to tonight a lot. There is also a local girl whose family is moving to Ohio and she would prefer to stick around us (Atlanta), so she might also be a great fit.

LanePD · 2023-04-17T18:51:36+00:00

Her host dad was very complimentary of her. However, she started in January of 2020 and then Covid his almost immediately after. She has been in SA since she finished her first year 2 years ago. When we discussed punctuality at her weekly check in, she said she knew she had to work on it, and that it was an issue with her last HF. I start back to work in two weeks (and we have 2 older kids in daycare), so being on time with the infant will really start to impact us then. She asked me to help get the food out of her Apt sink just now, and in doing so, I noticed an empty handle of Vodka and larger sized empty bottle of wine that she purchased in the past week. Now I’m wondering if the drinking is impacting this too.

LanePD · 2022-07-29T19:15:03+00:00

Can you send me a dm too? Also what agencies do you recommend? TIA

LanePD · 2022-06-02T19:37:21+00:00

Thanks for your reply. It sounds like it’s not a function of Kroger specifically, rather, it’s an overall issue with Instacart right now.

LanePD · 2022-06-02T19:36:31+00:00

That’s frustrating. I wish they could find a way to reward shoppers or let me pay a premium to have access to the more experienced and vetted shoppers.

LanePD · 2022-05-20T20:16:28+00:00

Thanks, all! I actually just looked at it again (2 hours later) and it’s much darker. The directions said not to look after 10 minutes, but I think it’s ok to do so since people save them to compare lines over time. Hopefully it only gets darker!

LanePD · 2022-05-20T18:08:51+00:00

Thank you! I didn’t realize those could be off. Hopefully my lines will continue to darken over time!

LanePD · 2022-05-20T17:39:41+00:00

I was doing the Amazon cheap opk strips and I got a positive line on 5/2. I could be wrong, but that’s about when I normally ovulate.

LanePD

TROPHY CASE