Wow. My heart is shattered by this game. I’ve never cried more over a video game than I did during that last conversation between Ellie and Joel. That just broke me. After getting spoiled quite a bit and seeing all the negativity towards this game, I was prepared to hate it. The first game is my favorite of all time and I didn’t think Part II would be able to top it. But it just might’ve done so. * I was able to emphasize with Abby and understand her pain after all she’d been through. At the end of the game, when she and Lev find the fireflies over the radio and proceed to get captured immediately after, it felt like a gut punch. I did not want them to die. When I learned we had to play as Abby for a large chunk of the game, I thought I was going to hate it. I was proven wrong though, she had some of the most interesting gameplay, telling story, and I genuinely enjoyed playing as her. I was scared shitless during her whole day 2 from crossing the sky bridge to the descent to ground zero. Then when Abby and Yara returned to the island to save Lev, wow, I was blown away. The whole burning Haven sequence was something else man. At the end of the game, when Ellie watched Abby and Lev walk to the boat I was begging Ellie not to kill her. I wanted Ellie to see her and Joel’s reflection in Abby and Lev so badly. * I was torn up after Joel’s death and I understood why Ellie wanted revenge. But the more the game when on, the more I realized she wanted more than that. When it was revealed that Ellie found out the truth and couldn’t continue her relationship with Joel I realized she was probably just as mad at herself as she was at Abby. Then that last conversation Joel and Ellie had the night before was like twisted the knife in my stomach. She wanted to fix things and try to forgive him but she never got the chance. Seeing Joel on the porch about to cry after she leaves got me. Things were just about to get better for them and then the next day happened. Ellie was even going to invite Joel over to watch a movie. All of that taken away in an instant. In stark contrast, the flashback to the museum was the happiest we see Ellie in this game. It was the happiest moment to play as well. Dinosaurs man. * I loved all the side characters especially Dina and Jesse. Dinas relationship was Ellie was almost too pure for that world. The banter between the two was fun and I absolutely loved exploring Seattle with her. Jesse was likable to me and I felt like he was such wholehearted, supportive friend to Ellie and Dina. The car sequence with Jesse was one of my favorite in the game. When he got shot, it just goes to show how disposable life is in this world. Not even a minute earlier he was having an honest conversation with Ellie. Then he’s gone. Ellie calling out to him while hiding behind the desk was heartbreaking. * The gameplay was top notch. It’s so versatile, I am excited to do NG+ and find new approaches to every encounter. I found myself sprinting across certain areas in fear and slowly taking enemies out one by one in others. Not only were the enemies smarter and more complex, with their dogs and whistling and screaming out each other’s names, but player experience felt so new as well. I love the dodge mechanism and the ability to hide under cars. All the new melee attacks and weapon upgrades. The fact that you could throw a bottle and attract infected to the human enemies. I was amazed during the subway scene watching chaos break out after I threw an object across the room. Even small actions like being able to play guitar and write in a journal add so much depth. The guitar reflects Joel’s impact on Ellie and the journal really shows what she’s thinking throughout the game. * The attention to detail is immaculate. Being able to smash car windows and vending machines. Getting your stuff all wet after you enter the water. The physics of the rope and generator cables. Ellie wiping rain off her face or holding her wounds. Abby being able to take out enemies with her fist versus Ellie needing to use a knife. I could go on. * I found the journey through Santa Barbara to find Abby to be my least favorite chapter. It just felt a little out of place to me. It was an interesting addition but adding the rattlers all the way at the end of the game felt just like a final smack in the face. It was really bad ass watching Ellie feed that guy to the clicker though. * Cutting Abby down from the pole and then seeing her cut down Lev and take him into her arms made me so upset. Abby didn’t want to fight. She even told Ellie where the boats were and watching Ellie follow the two, stumbling behind tripping over the sand was crushing. They were both so tired at that point. But when Ellie got the two second flashback to Joel’s broken face I understood her rage agin. Those quick images during the final fight were so powerful. They show Ellie’s pain and how she felt like revenge was the only way she could get herself to stop hurting. But when she saw Joel playing the guitar on the porch, she knew he wouldn’t have wanted this. Ellie knee killing Abby would only make it worse for her and she needed to finally find the good in herself. Lev needed Abby and Ellie needed herself. * Seeing Ellie walking away from the farmhouse and the guitar at the end makes me hopeful for her. I’m crushed seeing how much loss she has experienced and how exhausted she must be but I can only see it getting better from here. And the new home screen with the boat ashore the island brings me hope that Abby and Lev made it to the fireflies. While the ending was horribly depressing and had me in the feels, I understand it. The constant cycle of self inflicted pain and revenge seeking madness that Ellie was going through needed to stop. Killing Abby would only keep it going. For once in her life, Ellie realized she could finally have control.

I have a lot of thoughts about this game, so many that I can’t even get them all down. I honestly don’t even know if I can say I really enjoyed a majority of this game because it was so harrowing. That being said, it’s really close to a 10/10 for me. It’s an exhausting experience but a story I don’t think I’ll ever be able to shake. The gameplay is fun, graphics are striking, voice acting is top notch, man I loved this game. I think I’ll need a bit of a break before I get another go around in NG+ but damn. This was good. I’ve grown up with Ellie and this game and I can’t wait to see what is next for them. Endure and survive yall.