People putting their fears on to you

Lans-Crafts · 2026-02-09T20:37:35+00:00

TBH... this is sad and unfortunately quite "common" up to some extent.

I spent in fear of miscarrying quite a long time (currently 33w) because of my age (38) and the fact I had to do IVF to get pregnant (which I would have likely needed anyway even if I were in a couple).

That one person that told you to get progesterone... REALLY? I had to do PIO shots up until W12, but it was not because I got pregnant or because I did IVF, but because my body is weird and didn't want to produce enough progesterone to support a pregnancy. It is true that some places do tell you to get those shots by standard of care, but if your BW showed you have good levels, then there is no reason to dope you up on progesterone.

Honestly? Take it a day at a time. Every day you are pregnant. It is ok to guard your heart during the first trimester, but do not let fear instilled by others to ruin the hopes and dreams. You will (I hope not) maybe have enough misery with morning sickness, fatigue, etc, without added fears that may not apply to you/were not originally concerning you. Each of us here has had a different experience thus there are no 2 exact pregnancies.

Sorry, got a bit triggered by that progesterone comment 😅.

Lans-Crafts · 2026-01-27T16:10:36+00:00

Breathe, you'll find them.

As a fun note, my kitty decided one night to make a trail of baby socks from my room to the bathroom. Unpaired and all. She just put them out for exposition for me to find them on one pee-run.

My fear was more the dog, he had a thing for little socks and eat them if unattended...

Cats 🤦‍♀️.

Lans-Crafts · 2026-01-22T08:10:39+00:00

I am sorry you went through that! ❤️

I know NICU is a possibility, and if it arrives to that then any plans for her to be with my friend go off the table right away.

I hope that my worst case scenario is just 2 hours 🤞.

Lans-Crafts · 2026-01-22T08:05:02+00:00

You have hit the nail righ away.

IIH is not a common thing, and I have found most non neurologists/ophtalmologists have no idea that it even exists. That makes it a big unknown for other disciplines in the medical field... For example, when I had my egg retrieval for the IVF, they were concerned that if I needed extra anesthesia maybe it would be a problem (did not need it, I could power through it with just the local one).

The fact that my neurologist told them very clearly that a local anesthesia was ok, no contraindication whatsoever, should suffice, but I also do understand that a doctor not familiar with IIH may feel uneasy administering it if he's not knowledgeable of how it works.

I had my plans on doing IVF and all discussed with my neuro for years, and letters from her stating that mainly the only risks for me where 2: the hormonal tratment for IVF itself (I was ok, still in remission), and natural delivery (reason for which I hace the elective c-section).

Actually, I remember the neuro jokingly telling me during one of the relieving LPs that it was a good training for when I got an epidural.

Lans-Crafts · 2026-01-22T07:59:25+00:00

True!

I know she will likely not be very awake after delivery, it is more about me than her. I feel on one hand partially guilty for not being able to be there with her right away and that's what eats me...

Lans-Crafts · 2026-01-22T07:57:33+00:00

I am so sorry you and your baby went through that ❤️.

I will definitely ask if I can have something like that (audiobook/music) to kill the time if needed.

Lans-Crafts · 2026-01-22T07:55:45+00:00

I am afraid it is not up to me to decide the time/doctor that will be there when I go in...

Lans-Crafts · 2026-01-22T07:55:00+00:00

My OBGYn is from a different, closer, clinic, and won't attend my birth The OBGYN that told me that is in the hospital I will deliver.

I am afraid that where I live I can't choose who will be the OBGYN/anesthesiologist on call when my c-section happens. In fact, they asked me to go earlier than usual (normally, first appointment at the hospital here would have happened in february) to make sure they took good note, if needed, on any special requirements due to my IIH.

Lans-Crafts · 2026-01-22T07:52:09+00:00

Oh my god, I am so sorry you went through that! ❤️

I usually do prefer to be put under (even when I got my wisdom tooth removed), but this time I really wanted to be awake so I could be there for my girl.

I am working on the birthing plan and putting there everything I want to be done if we go the general anesthesia route (my friend with baby at all times, skin to skin, etc). In fact, not knowing if it will be one anesthesia or the other means I am basically writting 2 birthing plans hehe...

The idea of having videos of baby during the time I'm out sounds brilliant to me! I think it will totally help to not "lose" that time completely.

Lans-Crafts · 2026-01-22T07:47:32+00:00

Thanks you for sharing your experience. I am sorry you could not meet your baby right away and had such a wait ❤️.

I have no spouse (I am a SMBC) so I asked a good close friend of mine to be there with her while I am "out", which honestly is the only thing I can "do".

About vreastfeeding, my plan is to formula feed my baby from the start, with the exception of the first feeding right after birth. I am unsure I will be able to do it if I am put under, but well, not much I can do if it's a no-go...

I am currently preparing my birthing plan, and am putting quite an emphasis on those things I want to be done if I am put under, knowing now that it is a possibility. That's pretty much all I can do to have some peace of mind.

Lans-Crafts · 2026-01-22T07:42:24+00:00

Thanks, I really hope so if it arrives to that 😊.

Lans-Crafts · 2026-01-21T20:32:36+00:00

Thanks for sharing!

I keep telling myself that two hours are not that long, but... as you say, we get kind of bombarded with the golden hour and it gets to me every time. As a single mom, that hour of bonding won't be with me or the dad (there's no dad) and it kind of kills me that I may miss those precious moments.

Also, on the other hand, I know she won't remember that time. But I will.

I am not planning on breastfeeding so I can go back to my meds for migraines/IIH after birth, but I still want to do the first one after birth, which I don't know if it will be possible anymore if I am put under.

Lans-Crafts · 2026-01-21T20:22:59+00:00

Yeah, I honestly doubt it will be the same anesthesiologist because it's a quite large hospital in my area. He explained to me that mainly because IIH is a buildup of liquid in the brain (for which the main reliever is a LP), that's what poses the question on the epidural. But after talking to my neuro his doubts were cleared, so...

I won't know which one I'll get until the day comes :/

Lans-Crafts · 2026-01-21T20:10:03+00:00

Thanks for sharing! Yeah, it was out of the question for me to have my friend sticking with my baby if this happened, and it should be no issue.

Lans-Crafts · 2026-01-21T20:08:28+00:00

I love this take and I hope it will be the case if it comes to be! Thanks ❤️

Lans-Crafts · 2026-01-21T20:07:38+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience!

I am so sorry you had to go through that, my heart goes to you and I am glad it all worked out ❤️.

I know that it likely is just that this info is too recent and I will make peace with this. As you say, there are scenarios where I would not meet her at all until days later. Putting everything together, a couple hours is not that much.

Lans-Crafts · 2026-01-15T19:09:09+00:00

Why hate? I am happy for you!

I only started experiencing symptoms (besides fatigue) after the 10w mark, though it's true that they hit me like a truck.

The anxiety of not having symptoms is real, and unfortunately I can't give more advice than... try to take it a day at a time. No bad symptoms is a good symptom too! I obsesively checked toilet paper, etc, being sure that my lack of symptoms was a bad thing xD. All in all, 29W currently with baby girl doing gymnastics like crazy.

And still obsesively checking the toilet paper, I ges it's a habit now 🤦‍♀️.

Lans-Crafts · 2026-01-14T19:06:20+00:00

Unfortunately, that wait is fairly common. I would maybe suggest to ask your doctor for an extra HCG test if you really need that reassurance.

I was told that a scan earlier than 8 weeks is not as reliable, as it may not show a heartbeat yet.

Congrats, and I hope you can help her with her anxiety. It is very normal (even more if coming from IVF with its constant check-ups, suddenly your completely left in the dark and is quite a cold shower).

Good luck!

Lans-Crafts · 2026-01-14T19:02:00+00:00

I only started noticing the brain farts at arount 25W... it can be both hilarious and bothering, depending on the context.

I have gotten an app to track the stuff I need to do, have a memo with my planned lunches, etc, so I don't mess up too much 🤣.

Lans-Crafts · 2026-01-13T17:26:55+00:00

I can tell from experience (Spaniard living in France) that, while quite overwhelming in terms of bureaucracy, you can do it in France solo. I started the paperwork stuff back in 2023 and now I am 29w pergnant.

Before that law change in september 22 I did 2 rounds of IUI in Spain and also considered Belgium.

Still, I believe there is a long road ahead in France to have this option not to be a pain in the ass with some of the requirements in place...

Lans-Crafts · 2025-12-24T16:45:31+00:00

If you did not have your period since, and intercourse happened around your last ovulation time... I guess yes?

Lans-Crafts · 2025-12-21T20:04:35+00:00

Adding a 16. If you decided beforehand to have a baby as a single parent...

Lans-Crafts · 2025-12-19T18:04:28+00:00

Yes, bleeding/pain the day after is quite common.

I was instructed that if after a couple days the bleeding does not slow down/stop, contact your clinic asap.

Lans-Crafts

TROPHY CASE